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Why is my daughter a magnet to drama among her friends?.... How do I get her out

Posted by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:45 AM
  • 14 Replies
Ever since yesterday my oldest has been dealing with a bad headache and her neck and back was hurting. Come to find out there had been drama among her friends at her school because someone called her to ask why she is talking to a particular. This morning she stayed home from school to avoid whatever was going on. Here I want her to go to school if she is not contagious. I want her to leave the drama alone and not get involved just because they are her friends
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:58 AM
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You don't say how old she is, but for the most part you stay out of it (unless there are threats) and let her figure out how to deal with. With girls there's almost always going to be drama and the sooner she learns how to handle it the better.

rfhsure
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:02 AM

I agree that 14 is too young for her to be having sex, however, approaching her with anger isn't the way to handle it. Although it's a hard reality to accept, it's most likely that nothing you say is going to actually deter her from that behavior. I would try and find the emotional cause of why she started so early, but to be honest, commend her for at least taking responsibility of her sexuality by taking birth control. She should be commended, not punished for that. It's definitely something you should discuss with her, but making her feel bad about it will make her feel even less safe to discuss it with you.

hollydaze1974
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:23 AM
Those sound like real symptoms, actually. Yes, stress can cause it, but I'd take her to the dr anyway... All of what you mentioned sounds like sign of menengitis especially the neck.

If not, this is just girl drama and if she's not gonna talk to you, you just have to let it play out. Sucks, but they have to figure it out themselves
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hollydaze1974
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:25 AM
Where does it mention sex???

Quoting rfhsure:

I agree that 14 is too young for her to be having sex, however, approaching her with anger isn't the way to handle it. Although it's a hard reality to accept, it's most likely that nothing you say is going to actually deter her from that behavior. I would try and find the emotional cause of why she started so early, but to be honest, commend her for at least taking responsibility of her sexuality by taking birth control. She should be commended, not punished for that. It's definitely something you should discuss with her, but making her feel bad about it will make her feel even less safe to discuss it with you.

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GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 6:15 AM
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I'm sorry but I wouldn't have let her stay home. My rule is - if they're not vomitting or have gastro (or a fever) they go to school. Drama's with friend's/boyfriends don't count.

Shopsha0911
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:43 AM

My daughter went through this too, it was making her skin break out really bad and she had stomach isues from it. As for me I stayed out of it and was just there for a sounding board to support what ever path my daughter decided to go with. Sometimes they will breat free of these so called friends and move away from the drama. 

Personally I've seen way too many parents get involved in this and it just leads to more problems for the child and the parent. 


just_hc
by Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:50 AM

Oh don't get me started on teenage girls and drama.   I'm the team Mom on my DD's dance team.  All it is is DRAMA!  It makes me nuts.   My DD got ended up the center of some drama last year and it nearly destroyed her.  All the girls turned on her, they hounded her non-stop on twitter and by text message.  They threatened her at school and were just down right nasty.   She stopped eating, she didn't want to go to school, she talked about wanting to die so seriously that the school counselor called  me to come get her and have her evaluated.   Fast forward a year and they are all best of friends again.   My DD stays out of the drama now.  She knows all to well what it's like to be on the other side of it.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:29 AM

I would talk to her and tell her it's best to stay out of it.  Honestly if the friends are starting crap because she's talking to an uncool person, then the friends are the problem.  She shouldn't be allowed to stay home to avoid the situation though.

LuckyMom822
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:09 PM

I would stay out of it. As for dd, she needs to stand tall and do what's right. If her friends have a problem with that, she needs to tell them to suck it. This is why my buddies in school were guys. Young girls are stupid.

rfhsure
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:07 AM

wierd, that was actually my reply to a completely different post that I somehow accidentally posted here. No idea how that happened.

Quoting hollydaze1974:

Where does it mention sex???

Quoting rfhsure:

I agree that 14 is too young for her to be having sex, however, approaching her with anger isn't the way to handle it. Although it's a hard reality to accept, it's most likely that nothing you say is going to actually deter her from that behavior. I would try and find the emotional cause of why she started so early, but to be honest, commend her for at least taking responsibility of her sexuality by taking birth control. She should be commended, not punished for that. It's definitely something you should discuss with her, but making her feel bad about it will make her feel even less safe to discuss it with you.


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