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MOther before friend

Posted by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:46 PM
  • 22 Replies

I have a seriously complicated situation.. I had become a mother at a very younge age. I was 14 when I got pregnant and 15 when I had her. I raised her for 3 years and went homeless, so I did what was best for her and sent her to her dads. He married and moved and filed for custody. We went through court and I had visitations at his descretion. Well, I never got to see her becuase he would keep moving and It would take a very long time to find them and when I did they would move again. 

She grew up with them from the age of 3-4 to 16... Quite a long time. She moved in with me lastyear. She was hving a hard time at her dad's so he kicked her out. Of course I could never deny her a place to live, I love her. Well she moved in and confided in  me that she was not a virgin. I listened and we came to a conclusion that she was to go on birthcontrol. We got her the shot and was very responsible for nine months to keep it up to date. We had a falling out and she decided to move back to her dads. I was fine with that. I had talked to her and told her that if she moved back then she was gonna have to tell him that she was active and that her shot was due within two weeks. Mind you she had slept with four guys in the period of time she was with me. She decided that she did not need it. I was not gonna be the fool and believe that she was gonna become a nun and not have anymore sex. Sorry, wasn't born yesterday. I called her dad and told him that she needed her shot and that she is active. He was shocked and tried to pin her losing her virginity on me. Lol, no I set him straight and informed him she had already been with two guys before she came out. 

Since I let that cat out fo the bag with her dad, she wants nothing to do with me. But As a parent I am there to protect her, even if she is not in my house. I love her too much to see her go through what I did, she is better than that. 

So my question is, Do any of you mom's think I crossed the line and betrayed my daughter? And if you do then what would have done to make sure she does not ruin her life???

Posted by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:46 PM
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atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:01 PM
5 moms liked this
She needs counseling. She is looking for love in all the wrong places. Way too many sexual partners.
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bumNmoos_mom
by Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:04 PM
We tried everything to get her to go. . But she would not comply. She would just sit there and say nothing.


Quoting atlmom2:

She needs counseling. She is looking for love in all the wrong places. Way too many sexual partners.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:07 PM
She can at least listen.


Quoting bumNmoos_mom:

We tried everything to get her to go. . But she would not comply. She would just sit there and say nothing.




Quoting atlmom2:

She needs counseling. She is looking for love in all the wrong places. Way too many sexual partners.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
fammatthews4
by Trisha on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:33 PM
2 moms liked this

no I don't think you crossed the line.

boys2men2soon
by Gold Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:36 PM

Not necessarily crossed a line..... but you could have given your DD the option of telling her Dad herself, or you would tell him.





bumNmoos_mom
by Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:41 PM
I did give her the option. . She said no, she didn't need it anymore.


Quoting boys2men2soon:

Not necessarily crossed a line..... but you could have given your DD the option of telling her Dad herself, or you would tell him.



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bumNmoos_mom
by Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:42 PM
I completely agree..


Quoting atlmom2:

She needs counseling. She is looking for love in all the wrong places. Way too many sexual partners.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
sahlady
by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:11 PM
1 mom liked this

you made the right choice

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:41 PM
1 mom liked this

The person who is taking responsibility for the child needs to be aware of the complications of the actions.  If she is having sex, then she needs to be on some sort of birth control.  Dad needed to know.

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:53 AM
Dad needed to know, her health mental and physical is at stake. He not only needs to make sure she gets the shot, he needs to make sure she is protected from STDs and continues counseling. Did you cross the line...would it have been better for her to become pregnant or contract HIV? Nope
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