How do you get trust back?

[KarenR]

My daughter has been caught in several lies recently. She is a senior in high school and I know kids will lie to their parents. But my questions is... how do you get past that? How can I trust her again? She is leaving in the fall for college and I would like to repair our relationship before she goes. I am afraid if I catch her in anymore lies I won't be able to get past it. Do I need to just accept teenagers lie or should I follow up on what she tells me?

[bcauseimthemom]

You don't. If she is a habitual liar, she will never be trustworthy.  You said she is a senior, depending on the story, follow up...once she turns 18 and goes away to college, you will have no control with what she does. She will tell you what you want to hear, especially if you are paying for everything.  When she comes home, remind her, your house your rules. If she doesn't respect you, your home, rules or the fact that she lies to you  is just wrong.... let her figure out she is paying for school.... and all the "'fun" stuff that goes along with it... let her get a part time job, loans, grants.... whatever it takes...

[sunflowers12]

I don't think there is a real way to get past it but what you can do is accept her for her and remember that she doesn't tell the truth so not to believe her unless there's is a back up that you no for a fact there are know lies!



Example: my 21 year old could tell the truth if she had to!! I know this for a fact if she told me something back in the day I would have to check around with other sources before I would believe her!!!



But that was when she was in school now she is an adult and her lies contiune to this day...I just don't believe anything she says anymore take everything thing with a grain of salt !!



The way I look at it is its always good to know where you stand in someone's life 😕 and my dds the older two anyway have been very transparent !! So in that way it makes it easy for me to figure them out😏

[KarenR]

 

Mostly she lies about where she is going and who she is with. She knows one of her friends I do not like because of pasts things that have happened. He tries to manipulate her.

Quoting JustaSM231:

What is she lying about?  Is it something silly or something that could potentially be dangerous for her?

 

 

[KarenR]

Thank you all for the comments. It helps :)

 

[January1964]

Tell her everything you posted here. Just be honest with her.