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discipline ideas: 13 yr old girl kissing boy in school

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 8:04 PM
  • 22 Replies

My daughter will turn 14 in a few months. The rules were, no boyfriend allowed until 14, even then, group dates would be the deal. but she just got in trouble at school, caught kissing a boy, not once, but twice! came as a surprise to us, don't know exactly how to deal with this.....of course the cell phone will be gone, but aside from the normal grounding, we would like to give some sort of other punishment. Maybe a few essays to write, certain books to read, I don't know..............any suggestions??????

thanks in advance

by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 8:04 PM
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lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 8:10 PM
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  My advice have her invite him over. Have him spend lots of time with you all as a family. She isn't going to give him up. While he is at your home you can discuss with both of them that kissing at school is inappropriate !If they want to go on a real date you chaperone it.

amonkeymom
by Amy on Feb. 8, 2013 at 8:26 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think punishing her is going to keep her from spending time (and kissing) this boy.  But I do think you need to have some serious talks about PDA and how it's inappropriate at school.

rosepirate
by Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 8:32 PM
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I don't see anything wrong with kissing a boy at her age. Kissing and holding hands at that age is normal. Having full blown sex is not. But that happens.

If you have not had the "talk' with her do so.

momto3infl
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:20 PM
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 I would just do the normal grounding-kissing in school is a big no no, but in normally not an issue.

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Feb. 8, 2013 at 11:31 PM
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It's too young IMO, prob the reason she got caught...twice. My DD is a freshman in HS and knows she would be in trouble if this happened at school, we have had talks about PDA. however I also think 14 is way too young to emotionally handle or have the maturity to deal with a boyfriend. Girls at that age have ENOUGH drama. Also things can get carried away, just because they are together in a "group" doesn't mean they can't have sex. I would say zero unsupervised time if you allow her to continue to date this boy. Only "date" my freshman daughter went on was to Homecoming Dance, huge group of kids, supervised entire time.
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GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:05 AM
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Honestly I find it completely inappropriate and I've told my kids that if I ever get wind of them doing any of this crap (as a SAHM) I will follow their asses around school for as long as I have to until it stops.
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bcauseimthemom
by Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:56 AM
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I would remove her privacy and any privilege she has, at least for a month.  By removing her privacy, I mean her bedroom door... let her know these things are to be earned with good behavior and following the rules.  No electronics at all... well, maybe tv but no social media, to and from school, extra chores on the weekends.... no fun or anything for a month and at the end of that time re evaluate... to and from school only. If you are a SAHM, make sure you take her to school and pick her up.....  If she is already not listening to you and getting in trouble for kissing at school, she is on her way to being one troublesome teen... possibly sexually active way before she is ready... Nip it in the bud ....

bumNmoos_mom
by Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:57 AM
4 moms liked this

Disciplining her for it is not the answer... She is younge and it is time that girls start experimenting with kissing. Does not mean we are gonna like it, but it is gonna happen either way. Let her know that girls get  labeled for things like this. Especially at school. Explain "mono" to her, I am hoping that one will work for my kids when they get older, lol. 

But really, let it run it's course.. If you raised her with values then she will do whats right in the long run. 

LoveMyTiny
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 3:01 AM
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 Please don't do like "becauseimthemom" suggested, It'll make things so much worse.. Don't ground her from everything enjoyable, just take a couple things away or don't let her hang out after school for a week

Nolanzo
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 3:10 AM
5 moms liked this
Jesus no... That's a sure fire way to get her to resent the hell out of you and it will NOT deter her from doing something that is a natural urge at this age.

And FYI: kissing does not automatically mean she will be having sex or anything close to it anytime soon. I had a couple kisses by the time I was 13-14 and did not have sex until I was marrying my high school sweetheart.

I WOULD, however, make it clear that PDA at school is inappropriate and I'd be inviting that boy over to meet him ASAP.

Do not take the door off her room. Just don't allow them in there or require her to leave it open while he's around.


Quoting bcauseimthemom:

I would remove her privacy and any privilege she has, at least for a month.  By removing her privacy, I mean her bedroom door... let her know these things are to be earned with good behavior and following the rules.  No electronics at all... well, maybe tv but no social media, to and from school, extra chores on the weekends.... no fun or anything for a month and at the end of that time re evaluate... to and from school only. If you are a SAHM, make sure you take her to school and pick her up.....  If she is already not listening to you and getting in trouble for kissing at school, she is on her way to being one troublesome teen... possibly sexually active way before she is ready... Nip it in the bud ....


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