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Just when I thought I couldn't trust her any less!

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 3:36 AM
  • 63 Replies

  After having a discussion with my DD's dad and step mom we came to the decision that there will be very little opportunity for her and her boyfriend to be around each other. I had posted something about our situation a few days ago that he is 18 and she is only 14. I just went through her texts (since she didn't erase them this time) and it basically admits they have had sex but that we don't know it. That message just made my weekend a whole sit ton worse! I am not going to let her have her phone at all tomorrow and will be telling her dad that he needs to come here and to cancel his plans for today. CRAPITY CRAP CRAP!  I am so very happy she has an appointment with her pediatrician in a week becasue she is going on BC and it's going to be the F-ing shot! I am also going to make her take a preggo test asap as well. If I have a preggo 14 year old a whole shit ton of heads are going to roll!


Edit:


  My husband and I talked to the boys parents this afternoon and found out some more truths. They thought we knew they were "dating" and were told we were OK with it. They were also told that we knew she was over at their house every time she was over (which was apparently a lot more than we knew).  My daughter was making the boy depressed with the lies she was telling him about my husband and I. His parents reimbursed us for the Plan B we bought her and they agree that they are not to talk to each other. 

    Unfortunately my kid has no common sense and told people about what happened so she will have to deal with that tomorrow at school. Rumors are not a nice thing to deal with and kids are mean. I will be amazed if she doesn't come home crying. 

I have calmed down and so we will not be pressing charges...as long as he doesn't try to contact her in any way until she is 18 (at which point he will likely have gotten over it any way). He apologized to us and was looking very depressed and distraught. Hopefully it's all over now...I hope they both learn from this.

by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 3:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Cindy18
by Bronze Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 5:53 AM

Other than the fact that she has had sex, is there any other reason to think she is pregnant? I think making her take a pregnancy test is a little over the top. Besides if she hasn't missed a period, then she most likely will test negative anyway.

I missed your OP but really what did you think was going to happen if she was dating an 18 year old?

Bonita131
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 5:57 AM

Wow, I honestly don't think I'd like you for a mom. You have no idea how to react save for flipping out.

leighp1
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 8:17 AM
6 moms liked this

First off, I think you bringing in the dad and step mom is a GREAT thing.  They also need to be involved and it sounds like they want to be. One of the posters said they wouldn't like you as a mom.  Well they would HATE me as a mom.  At this point you have proof that they had sex.  I would be calling the cops!!  At 14 they "think" they know a lot, but at 18, they DO know a lot.  And that 18 year old should know better than to mess with a 14.  Second, yep, I would be getting BC too. And the shot sounds GREAT to me!!  The preggo test, well that would depend on when they had sex.  If it was a while ago, nah, wouldn't bother, but if it was recent and you may suspect something, yep get the test done.

This is all coming from a mom of a 15 year daughter.  Though we don't have a boyfriend because she spends too much time on her XBox playing games with the guys.

andersongirl562
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 8:23 AM
2 moms liked this
I have a 15 year old. While I would be upset if she chose to have sex right now I would not punish her. Having sex, experimenting and making mistakes is part of being a teenager. I however would ask if she used protection, have her take a pregnancy test, and then help her choose a method of birthcontrol. I would also be upset and ask her why she felt she could not come to me with the truth as we have a very open and honest relationship. She knows when she is ready to take that next step in a relationship all she has to do is ask and I will help her with birth control. As far as having an 18 year old boyfriend I don't feel like there is that much of an age difference and I wouldn't be calling the police. They are likely in school together so are peers.
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TexanMomOf6
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 9:35 AM

After what all I have been through with my youngest DD, If I ever had another daughter, I would AUTOMATICALLY put her on birth control whan she hit 12 (or whenever she started hitting puberty). I might even lie to her about what it was so that she didn't get it in her head that she was free to have sex without consequences.  Children really don't have the mental capability to understand the long term consequences.

I know, parents shouldn't lie to their kids. What about the Tooth Fairy?? Everyone lies.

Tisha1115
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:27 AM
2 moms liked this

She had sex with an 18 year old and is one week late for her period, how would you like me to react?

Quoting Bonita131:

Wow, I honestly don't think I'd like you for a mom. You have no idea how to react save for flipping out.


Tisha1115
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:29 AM

She is a week late! As for the 18 year old, we were told he was gay and had been grounded becasue he was caught kissing another guy, We were told they were just friends.

Quoting Cindy18:

Other than the fact that she has had sex, is there any other reason to think she is pregnant? I think making her take a pregnancy test is a little over the top. Besides if she hasn't missed a period, then she most likely will test negative anyway.

I missed your OP but really what did you think was going to happen if she was dating an 18 year old?


Tisha1115
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:34 AM
2 moms liked this

Thank you! She wasn't suppose to have boyfriends until she was 16 and she didn't confirm our suspicions until this Wednesday morning. Last night I found the text and this morning she confirmed it was true with details. She is really going to hate us now if she didn't before! I really, really want to call the cops but the hubby wants to see what his lawyer says first and her dad and step mom are not ready to take the steps to ruin his life (I feel he did it himself as he KNEW the consequences).

Quoting leighp1:

First off, I think you bringing in the dad and step mom is a GREAT thing.  They also need to be involved and it sounds like they want to be. One of the posters said they wouldn't like you as a mom.  Well they would HATE me as a mom.  At this point you have proof that they had sex.  I would be calling the cops!!  At 14 they "think" they know a lot, but at 18, they DO know a lot.  And that 18 year old should know better than to mess with a 14.  Second, yep, I would be getting BC too. And the shot sounds GREAT to me!!  The preggo test, well that would depend on when they had sex.  If it was a while ago, nah, wouldn't bother, but if it was recent and you may suspect something, yep get the test done.

This is all coming from a mom of a 15 year daughter.  Though we don't have a boyfriend because she spends too much time on her XBox playing games with the guys.


CrazyLife1996
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:42 AM
3 moms liked this
Sometimes the way to get your point across isn't to fly off the handle that will only get her to hide more and do more that she shouldn't be doing.

I think the pregnancy test is a good thing it should eliminate any concerns there.

I also agree BC is necessary to help prevent pregnancy in the future.

Even with those two steps you need to talk and educate calmly and do this continuously. Take about condoms and the real consequences of pregnancy and std's.

Also she needs to have an STD test every 6 months.

The calmer you are the better chance of her listening.
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CrazyLife1996
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:44 AM
BTW I 3 daughters 21,16,&7. We have talked over and over always with an open-mind and without anger.
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