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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Introduction

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 4:20 AM
  • 11 Replies
I am the mom of a son who is 14 and has Aspergers and ODD and many other diagnosis. He is very big he is 6ft tall and weighs 290 pounds. He is very aggressive to me and his Grandpa. And very disrespectful to any adult who tries to correct him. They say they don't have these problems at school but he can change in a split second. I pick him up from school and immediately he starts kicking me in the back and hitting me in the head with his fist and then thinks he is going to get a reward for it. I DON'T THINK SO!! But my dad bows down and gives in to whatever Jacob wants. I have no control, it's like this is Jacob's world and we should be thankful that he lets us live in it. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. HE IS NOT POTTY TRAINED AND DON'T WANT TO BE,

WHAT DO I DO?
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by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 4:20 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mumsy2three
by Shauna on Feb. 14, 2013 at 6:14 AM

Hi and welcome to the group.

I work with teens diagnosed with ASD as well as other diagnosis. There are many students that are in our classroom that behave just fine in school but go home and display behaviors that we never see at school. In my opinion it's because they are in their domain when they are at home. At school the expectations are different and the behaviors are not accepted/tolerated.

If I were in your situation I would try a new behavior plan. Highly reward the positive behaviors, not the negative. There is something rewarding to him about hitting/kicking you. Not sure what it could be just you reacting. I am no help with potty training a teen, b/c in my opinion there is no reason for him not to be, especially with an aspergers diagnosis. You may want to check into behavioral therapy through a wrap around program in your area. They may be able to help you get his behaviors under control. Good luck.

Barabell
by Barbara on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:34 AM

Hello, and welcome to the group. Is your son seeing a behavioral therapist and/or psychologist for his many diagnoses? Is having family meetings with a specialist to address these issues and concerns an option?

Does you dad live with you?

fammatthews4
by Trisha on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:58 AM

This is very good advise.  

Quoting mumsy2three:

Hi and welcome to the group.

I work with teens diagnosed with ASD as well as other diagnosis. There are many students that are in our classroom that behave just fine in school but go home and display behaviors that we never see at school. In my opinion it's because they are in their domain when they are at home. At school the expectations are different and the behaviors are not accepted/tolerated.

If I were in your situation I would try a new behavior plan. Highly reward the positive behaviors, not the negative. There is something rewarding to him about hitting/kicking you. Not sure what it could be just you reacting. I am no help with potty training a teen, b/c in my opinion there is no reason for him not to be, especially with an aspergers diagnosis. You may want to check into behavioral therapy through a wrap around program in your area. They may be able to help you get his behaviors under control. Good luck.


luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:14 PM

I wished I had some advice, but I don't so instead I'll send a big internet hug!

SAMI_JO
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:24 PM

Thank you, I can use all the support that I can get.

SAMI_JO
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:29 PM

He tells me that he does all these things on purpose but won't tell me why. If I knew what I did wrong I would fix it. I don't know whether to treat this harshly or let go and hope it stops. Help I don't know what to do.frustrated

SAMI_JO
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:34 PM

Yes we see a behavioral psychiatrist, once a month.  His real dad walked out on me the day that I told him I was pregnant, and his step-dad is in a nursing home becaause he is parapalegic and I can't take care of both of them and they were jealous of each other.

SAMI_JO
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:37 PM

Thank you for the support!

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Feb. 14, 2013 at 4:07 PM

He does them on purpose b/c that way he has control. I wouldn't treat him or the behaviors harshly, just tweak them so that he is being rewarded for the good behaviors, not the bad. It's nothing you did, many people don't realize they reinforce a behavior positively or negatively it's just reshaping that reinforcement to get the good outcomes and not the bad ones.

Many behavior programs and ASD programs use Skinner's works in operant conditioning. It's the ABC's of behavior basically for every Antecedent (direction/demand placed), there is a Behavior (could be positive or negative), to every behavior there is a Consequence (again could be positive or negative). When working with those on the spectrum we want the behavior and consequence to be good ones. If you know what is reinforcing or motivating to your son you could use those as rewards for good choices and behaviors.

Quoting SAMI_JO:


He tells me that he does all these things on purpose but won't tell me why. If I knew what I did wrong I would fix it. I don't know whether to treat this harshly or let go and hope it stops. Help I don't know what to do.frustrated


bizzeemom2717
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:58 PM
Hi there I wish I had some experience or advice but will say welcome to the group!
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