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Advice Needed: what if you have a child that does not budge...

Posted by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:04 PM
  • 26 Replies

what if you have a child that does not budge for any disipline? You take things away she doesn't care. You make her do work around the house she does not budge , says no. What if you have such a stubborn child especially one that has ADHD?banging head into wall

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tyfry7496
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:40 PM
Don't blame it on ADHD, that has nothing to do with it. My son has ADHD and he still has respect and does what he's told. I don't give him a choice. I know many teens with ADHD and none of them have issues with doing what they are told.

TELL her EXACTLY what she has to do. Keep reminding her. Take EVERYTHING from her except her bed. Give her clean clothes daily until she learns to respect you. Don't give her rides or money.
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sabrtooth1
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:45 PM
Again, this is not ADHD behavior, this is conduct or personality disorder. It is very difficult to get a conduct disordered child to obey; they sometimes do not have an innate desire to please. The best thing you can do is REMOVE toys,favorite clothes, all electronic devices, everything she desires, and sell them back for good behavior. Every time she acts out, take them away again.
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boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:55 PM
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I agree with the others....... ADHD has nothing to do with this behavior.

What is she not budging on?    Clear out her room, take everything away including her door.   If she doesn't care, fine.   Without a phone, computer, I Pod, TV, etc....she is cut off from all outside communication which  lowers the odds of her getting into trouble.

She doesn't do chores?   Don't do anything for her.  Do not supply her anything but the basics:  Soap, shampoo & deoderant.       She can make her own meals (do not buy easy stuff..make her have to work for it).   She wants a clean towel?  She will have to do laundry.    She wants to do her hair?   Make her work for her hair products and make up.   




MJP76
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 11:35 PM
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Did you try spanking her butt? I mean that's rediculous.

hollydaze1974
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:40 AM
First of all, ADHD cannot be considered as the reason for misbehavior or discipline. I have an eighth grader diagnosed in second grade. His diagnosis has never had anything to with behaviors and consequences.

What sort of things is you child doing?
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lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 8:04 AM

That should have been taken care of years ago. There is No saying no in our home. We ask you once to do something . After that we tell you. You better be up and moving or the good life comes to a grinding halt. You will lose every thing. You and your stripped down bedroom will be your life. You will come out for school, meals and bathroom. We would start with 1 month.

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:49 PM

I agree with those who said to remove everything from her room but bed and clothing. Let her earn things back.

I also agree that it's not ADHD behavior she is displaying, it sounds more like oppositional defiance disorder. If that is the case be sure you are setting very clear boundaries and consequences for non compliance. Also make sure to follow through, for example don't tell her she's grounded for a week then let her go out with friends. As for getting her to do chores try giving her a choice rather than telling her what to do. She will think she is more in control that way.

PurpleHazey
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:58 PM
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Heck I have 6 of those, in-fact I call my 6 year old HONEY BOOBOO, but guess what I will not budge at all, when I say the word I mean it! I can and will make your day miserable.

PurpleHazey
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 1:00 PM

 


Quoting tyfry7496:

Don't blame it on ADHD, that has nothing to do with it. My son has ADHD and he still has respect and does what he's told. I don't give him a choice. I know many teens with ADHD and none of them have issues with doing what they are told.

TELL her EXACTLY what she has to do. Keep reminding her. Take EVERYTHING from her except her bed. Give her clean clothes daily until she learns to respect you. Don't give her rides or money.

"Don't blame it on ADHD"

Love it! 

PurpleHazey
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 1:02 PM

 


Quoting sabrtooth1:

Again, this is not ADHD behavior, this is conduct or personality disorder. It is very difficult to get a conduct disordered child to obey; they sometimes do not have an innate desire to please. The best thing you can do is REMOVE toys,favorite clothes, all electronic devices, everything she desires, and sell them back for good behavior. Every time she acts out, take them away again.

I agree with you! Hell I would clean out the room (the whole room, door and all)

 

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