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Advice Needed: what if you have a child that does not budge...

what if you have a child that does not budge for any disipline? You take things away she doesn't care. You make her do work around the house she does not budge , says no. What if you have such a stubborn child especially one that has ADHD?banging head into wall

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:04 PM
Replies (21-26):
sabrtooth1
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:28 PM

 

 

Quoting lazyd: Does any of the people here who posted "dont blame adhd" have a child who has these "mental" disorders?????  Try living in our shoes

If you had read our posts carefully, you would have seen that we say this behavior is not ADD BECAUSE WE HAVE ADDers!!!  We also have ODDers and OCDers and kids with any number of other disorders who STILL respect their parents and are not a danger to other children in the house. 

 We ALSO have the state involved and our own social worker cuz my son told someone that we "abuse" him and was "dragging" him by the arm and "pulling" his arm out.  NONE OF IT WAS TRUE!  If my son had simply gone to his room to throw his temper tantrum and get it over with than i wouldnt have had to take his arm and "escort" him to his room.  The reason his arm was "pulled" was cuz he tried to run in the opposite direction.  No bruises have EVER been left on my child!  BUT we are "in the system" now and are checked up on every 3 months for god knows how long!!

And NONE of us who have responded, except for you and the OP, have had the state involved because of the way way we do, or do not, raise our children.  Getting good psychiatric care, not only for the child, but ALSO for the parent, BEFORE the child is out of control, is the key. 
countrygirl1234
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:44 PM

 


Quoting Barabell: of course she does. She has been going for three years now .Her counselor has been working with her with stress management , coping skills etc. and i still have not seen a big difference.


Quoting countrygirl1234:

of course i have done all of that.This is a kid that does not care what happens to her. I do not budge at all . They have diagnosed her with oppisional difiant disorder so that makes it even more difficult.

Does she have regular counseling or behavior therapy for her ODD?


 

Barabell
by Barbara on Feb. 17, 2013 at 2:11 PM

Have you talked to her counselor about techniques specific to your daughter that might work? I don't have a child with ODD, and so I have no idea what would and would not be effective.

I did see another mom say on CM that sometimes the kids (in general) feel like they're in such a hole that there is no point in trying to earn their stuff back. They had tried wiping the slate clean by giving some privileges back on Sunday, and then as the kid screwed up during the week then they started losing those privileges again. Do you think something like that would work with your daughter? Or do you think her lack of caring and respect is deeper than that.

Quoting countrygirl1234:



Quoting Barabell: of course she does. She has been going for three years now .Her counselor has been working with her with stress management , coping skills etc. and i still have not seen a big difference.


Quoting countrygirl1234:

of course i have done all of that.This is a kid that does not care what happens to her. I do not budge at all . They have diagnosed her with oppisional difiant disorder so that makes it even more difficult.

Does she have regular counseling or behavior therapy for her ODD?




countrygirl1234
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:36 PM

 My daughter has oppositional defiance disorder that comes with adhd so it makes her behavior much worst.

Quoting sabrtooth1:

Again, this is not ADHD behavior, this is conduct or personality disorder. It is very difficult to get a conduct disordered child to obey; they sometimes do not have an innate desire to please. The best thing you can do is REMOVE toys,favorite clothes, all electronic devices, everything she desires, and sell them back for good behavior. Every time she acts out, take them away again.

 

countrygirl1234
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:43 PM

 

Quoting Barabell:

Have you talked to her counselor about techniques specific to your daughter that might work? I don't have a child with ODD, and so I have no idea what would and would not be effective.

I did see another mom say on CM that sometimes the kids (in general) feel like they're in such a hole that there is no point in trying to earn their stuff back. They had tried wiping the slate clean by giving some privileges back on Sunday, and then as the kid screwed up during the week then they started losing those privileges again. Do you think something like that would work with your daughter? Or do you think her lack of caring and respect is deeper than that.

Quoting countrygirl1234:

 

 

Quoting Barabell: of course she does. She has been going for three years now .Her counselor has been working with her with stress management , coping skills etc. and i still have not seen a big difference.


Quoting countrygirl1234:

of course i have done all of that.This is a kid that does not care what happens to her. I do not budge at all . They have diagnosed her with oppisional difiant disorder so that makes it even more difficult.

Does she have regular counseling or behavior therapy for her ODD?

she has counseling once a week  that deals with her communication and behavior and also is in a group with other children like her twice a week .

 

 


 

krise
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 1:34 PM

you have to stick with one thing and keep with that one thing for a while anyways... it will wear her down.

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