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Cutting and attempted suicide

Posted by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:09 AM
  • 21 Replies

Hi, I came on to this site to see if any other mom is experiencing what I am going through right now. My 15 year old daughter has been cutting herself for a year now and has been hospitalized 4 times last year. She is also on a self imposed diet. I am desperate for advice because no matter what I try and do, I cannot get from her the reasons for these actions and I am worried every night that I will wake up in the morning and my daughter will have cut a fatal wound or have the ambulance call me saying that my daughter has called from our house for help. I am scared every day.

by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:18 AM
Sounds like she needs long term inpatient care.
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boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:33 PM

I am sorry you are dealing with this.   She is in therapy, right?




mumsy2three
by Shauna on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:37 PM


Quoting atlmom2:

Sounds like she needs long term inpatient care.

This was my thought too. Any residential treatment facilities in your area?

PurpleHazey
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:55 PM
1 mom liked this

I will not add any advice for cutting because to me it is a attention getter that unruly teens use beause of all the attention that has been advertised. I know I am a old timer but the more awareness that is being put out or being accepted is when teens seem to do it more openly. This is my own opinion and nothing more!

Saphira1207
by Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 1:02 PM
1 mom liked this

She needs to be seen by mental health professionals and evaluated.  She probably won't tell you why she's doing it, but she may tell someone else.

I will say, though, that cutting and severe dieting are usually symptoms of depression and an unhealthy view of herself.  Those kinds of things can best be dealth with by counselors and psychiatrists.

bizzeemom2717
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 1:33 PM
I agree and same question. Good luck with everything.

Quoting mumsy2three:


Quoting atlmom2:

Sounds like she needs long term inpatient care.

This was my thought too. Any residential treatment facilities in your area?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
romalove
by Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 2:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I am so sorry you are going through this.  My daughter was "faux" cutting for a bit, scratching at herself with broken plastic cutlery, once she cut her foot open to avoid going to an appointment she didn't want to make, she threatened to drink cleaning fluid, punched herself in the eye....she was horribly depressed and refusing to deal with it.  She was irrational and couldn't be spoken to about any of it.  I finally forced her to get medication and therapy for the depression and it is working wonders.

Please try and get your child this sort of help, it can be lifesaving.  Hugs to you and good luck mama.

needadvice0130
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:59 PM

OMG!  You cannot believe the amount of psychiatrists and mental health specialists she saw - she was finally admitted to a psychiatric hospital last year after the 4th attempt, and at the time, it was involuntary which did not bother me in the least, because I was hoping she would get the help and attention she "felt" she may have needed but then, in our interview with the main psychiatrist, they said that since she was 14, at the time, she had the right to leave whenever she wanted...so involuntary meant nothing when it came to her decision.  I tried to convince her to stay but since she heard the doctor say that she could make that choice, she certainly used that to her advantage.  It is a huge roller coaster with her....she lives right now with her dad because there are no rules there.  The poor girl has been through a lot so I am not surprised that she is having emotional issues, for example, when she was 12, she was dating someone who was 18, which I did not know about since she lived with her dad at that time, he thought he was nice...wants to be the friend dad and not the parental dad.  Long story short, he was charged with sexual interference with a minor and no one wants to listen to me that that could be one of her issues.  All I will say about her dad is that the words "you are a effin "c word" is normal vocabulary with him - did it with me and is doing it with both his daughters.  My 18 year old finally had enough and has lived with me for the last 3 years full time and will state that "a week with her dad is a week too long" - they have called him by his first name since they were 6 and 9 - his choice.   I sometimes wonder if I had just stayed with him, perhaps they would not be so messed up - I know I had to do what was right for me and them, but you always wonder if you put your own feelings ahead of your kids in that circumstance and perhaps they hold resentment towards me. My oldest daughter is doing magnificently now - she is in college and is working at a public school and has turned out beautifully - I am hoping her sister will do the same. BTW - they absolutely hate each other (which is a whole other issue).

romalove
by Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 6:28 PM


Quoting needadvice0130:

OMG!  You cannot believe the amount of psychiatrists and mental health specialists she saw - she was finally admitted to a psychiatric hospital last year after the 4th attempt, and at the time, it was involuntary which did not bother me in the least, because I was hoping she would get the help and attention she "felt" she may have needed but then, in our interview with the main psychiatrist, they said that since she was 14, at the time, she had the right to leave whenever she wanted...so involuntary meant nothing when it came to her decision.  I tried to convince her to stay but since she heard the doctor say that she could make that choice, she certainly used that to her advantage.  It is a huge roller coaster with her....she lives right now with her dad because there are no rules there.  The poor girl has been through a lot so I am not surprised that she is having emotional issues, for example, when she was 12, she was dating someone who was 18, which I did not know about since she lived with her dad at that time, he thought he was nice...wants to be the friend dad and not the parental dad.  Long story short, he was charged with sexual interference with a minor and no one wants to listen to me that that could be one of her issues.  All I will say about her dad is that the words "you are a effin "c word" is normal vocabulary with him - did it with me and is doing it with both his daughters.  My 18 year old finally had enough and has lived with me for the last 3 years full time and will state that "a week with her dad is a week too long" - they have called him by his first name since they were 6 and 9 - his choice.   I sometimes wonder if I had just stayed with him, perhaps they would not be so messed up - I know I had to do what was right for me and them, but you always wonder if you put your own feelings ahead of your kids in that circumstance and perhaps they hold resentment towards me. My oldest daughter is doing magnificently now - she is in college and is working at a public school and has turned out beautifully - I am hoping her sister will do the same. BTW - they absolutely hate each other (which is a whole other issue).

You have to have some kind of leverage and make her get medicated and into therapy.  Without the medication it is hard to get them to comply with the therapy.  I still fight with my daughter sometimes about the medicine but she is getting much better about taking it.  The leverage for my kid was she is a musician and has lots of lessons after school that she wanted to maintain.  I told her if she didn't get medication and therapy she was cut off completely, and any week she refuses therapy is a week without her music.  It was the only way to get her to comply.  Within a month of medication she was already better, able to laugh and smile, stopped fighting with me irrationally, is sleeping less, and is much more social.  She seems happier which is part of keeping her with the program.

She will not get better if you don't intervene, wherever she lives.  The cutting thing is serious and indicative of a deeper problem than you can handle on your own, and it isn't something they grow out of.

Good luck to you.

lazyd
by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 7:43 PM

Yea, my 13yo daughter was cutting and threatening suicide last summer.  She just turned 14.  I have not told her that therapy and medication are "options".  She is taking meds and doing therapy whether she likes it or not!!  My daughter was depressed and wants attention cuz her father and i are going thru a lot and my daughter also feels like her SN brother gets all the attention.  She is doing better.  But it is always touch n go with her.  She was also a constant runaway.  I WISH i could commit my daughter, but no one will take her - we even went to the ER for a psych hold and they wouldnt do it - even with the marks all over her arms n legs!  There were too many teens and not enough beds!  Cops also wont take my daughter to commit her unless she commits a crime! 

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