New to Group need help/advice with a teen who is cutting herself!
Hi, I'm Deb and I am raising my ex-husbands daughter from his previous relationship. We were raising this child during our marraige but he wanted out ( alcohol), he previously had been abandoned by his father as a young child and consequently abandoned his three sons from his first marraige. I married again 5 yrs ago and my husband is more than supportive, we are hoping to adopt MJ this year as she has had no contact with her birth parents in over 8 yrs. I am one of only a few Step-Parents who was awarded custody over the birth parents! MJ. has lived with me from 1-5yrs of age, during the separation from her father I had partial custody... now full. MJ knows deep in her heart that she is loved and that I fought for her for four years, but perhaps because she is a teen almost 16, she struggles with identity issues as well as simply being a teen. I have always read her diaries/letters/writings as my parental rights? Recently I read that she has been cutting herself and I confronted her last night with this, she claims that she has never been happy and feels that no one loves her!! After a tearful night of retelling how she came to be in my life (something I have to do every year or so) and reassuring her of my love ... I am not at a point of what to do about her cutting herself. I explained that if she intends to harm herself in any permanent or non-permanent way it would not be under my roof, that I will do all I can to protect her, but that once she turns 18 and goes off into the world she will have to choose for herself what she will do and I will not be able to stop her. Can anyone give me some words of advice??? I'm thinking of getting her into counseling though she says she will not talk to anyone!!! THanks for listening... Deb