my son won't talk to his father because he's always yelling

[daisykat]

My 16-year-old son avoids discussing anything with his father because he yells about everything. It's impossible for our son to bond with him because he's so intimidated by him. I've tried discussing this with my husband, but he thinks it's all nonsense and is suspicious that I've told our sons things to turn them against him, which is ridiculous. Whenever he's away on business, it's like a big party in our house because we laugh and there's no tension. What the heck do I do to fix this before our son moves out in 2 years and goes to college? I notice he's taking the same approach with our 10-year-old. I'm exhausted and tense from his yelling, I never know what mood he's in when he walks into the room. Any thoughts?

daisykat

[SacFam5]

I know how your children feel because I grew up in a household with a father like this, a man who yelled a lot, was intimidating, and had quite an anger problem.  I never knew what I was going to get either ~ I was always walking on eggshells around him.  Now I am 46 years old, and to this day my relationship with my father is strained, most especially since my mother died 7 years ago (who I had a wonderful relationship with). I have no desire to see him or better the relationship. There are no emotions there for me at all.

Perhaps you can let your husband know that if he continues down this path, he could potentially be jeopardizing his future adult relationships with his children.  But he can turn things around, it is never too late when the children are still in the home.  Once they leave (for college and beyond) it's much more difficult.