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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Teens and allowance

Posted by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 12:09 AM
  • 18 Replies

I am trying everything to get my 14 and 17 year old daughters to help out at home. It's a battle to say the least. I've offered to pay them allowance if they can get some chores done. Been unsuccessful. I can't be the only one in this situation. How much allowance do you pay your teens? What types of chores do they do?


by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 12:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
bluelola
by Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 12:49 AM

My kids are 16 and 10, their chores are to unload the dishwasher, set the table before dinner, clean up the table after dinner, clean up their rooms, put their laundry away, sweep the kitchen floor, vacuum the basement (their domain)....  My oldest son does have a job at a grocery store for the last few months that he got when he was 15.  He is an honour roll student and works p/t, but he still needs to help out at home. 

MiddleAgeMess
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 12:55 AM
1 mom liked this
There should be household chores that they contribute to because theyre a member of the home, and then extra allowance chores. If they dont help then dont buy their favorite foods, or their favorite shampoo etc. And definatly dont give them $$ for going out.
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bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:03 AM
2 moms liked this

 My DD is a freshman in HS, she makes dinner on Tues and Thurs and gives our lil guy (2.5) a bath that evening because I get home late from work as does Dh. She also helps out when needed with babysitting. I don't give her a set allowance amount and didn't give the older kids one, but do pay for her expenses and paid for older kids gas, ect.

GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:05 AM
5 moms liked this

Honestly I wouldn't give an allowance. That's just me. But what I would do would be to round up all phones, laptops, password protect the main computer, ipods, ipads/tablets and explain to the girls that when they do chores they earn time on their devices. e.g cleaning up the kitchen after dinner (so washing dishes, packing away the table/leftovers, sweeping, wiping counters over) earns them half an hour. If they don't do anything then they don't get anything. Tell them that they will no longer get money to go out with friends or go ANYWHERE besides school if they do not pick up around the house. Offer them a choice say "I need these 3 baskets of washing hung on the line, If you can do this for me I can either give you half an hour on the laptop OR I can take you to (friend's) house tomorrow afternoon, if you don't like this, then I will be calling (friend) and cancelling your activity tomorrow and you will not be allowed on the computer for another day".

atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 23, 2013 at 8:09 AM
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Consequences for not doing it. No phone, computer,no friends etc.
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mumsy2three
by Shauna on Feb. 23, 2013 at 8:21 AM

This. I'd also stop doing things for them that they can do for themselves like laundry.

Quoting atlmom2:

Consequences for not doing it. No phone, computer,no friends etc.


atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 23, 2013 at 8:24 AM
Yes, I stopped doing everyone's laundry including dh's years ago.


Quoting mumsy2three:

This. I'd also stop doing things for them that they can do for themselves like laundry.

Quoting atlmom2:

Consequences for not doing it. No phone, computer,no friends etc.



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fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:10 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't give mine allowance.  They do chores in order to have the things they want to begin with.  If they don't do chores, the phone is gone, if they don't do homework, computers are gone, if they want some money then their grades and chores are good and they can have some money to do a few things.

kthomasson
by Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:26 AM

No allowance, been there done that didn't work.  We simply give them the chores and they have to do them.  Now- I have to remind them at least once a day but at least they do them.  They do the dishes, they wipe off counters, take out trash, feed dogs daily.  Weekly, I ask them to help with other chores such as vacuuming or maybe sweeping......

sabrtooth1
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:43 AM
4 moms liked this

Your problem is not chores, it's that your children do not respect or obey you. And these problems did not start yesterday.  Chores need to be done.  The house needs to be maintained. laundry, cooking, and pet care needs to be done.  These things are the responsibility of EVERYONE who lives in the house, and enjoys the benefits of having a roof over their head, and food on the table.   

Giving an allowance to children should have NOTHING to do with chores.  An allowance teaches children how to manage money, how to budget, and how to delay gratification.  The allowance you give, REPLACES giving the child things they ask for.  They want to go to the movies?  Use or save your allowance for it.  But the act of walking out the door is still contingent upon proper behavior.  Having enough money to buy something themselves does NOT give them the right to enjoy it in the face of bad behavior.  Plus, the 17yo should have a J-O-B, and no allowance anyway.  The 14yo should be babysitting, dogwalking, or doing paid chores for NEIGHBORS to offset part of her allowance.

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