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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

So my 16 year old son asked this girl out

Posted by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 6:49 PM
  • 14 Replies
First, a little backstory about what happened... My son has wanted to date this girl for a while, and he asked her out places a couple of times, and she always said she was "busy" He's a kind of shy kid and from what he said about her I thought they'd be a good match. She's apparently quiet, but nice, and really artistic. So Friday he asked hrer on a date (I guess the previous times he had asked her as a "friend") and she said to him that she was just going to be blunt about it, she wasn't interested in a relationship. She said she was "going through some personal stuff and if I was in a relationship I don't think I would be able to have the privacy I need." Now her answer really surprised him, and he didn't know what to say. I advised him to try and move on, but he really doesn't seem willing to. What would you say to him if you were me, do you think he should just give her some space, or should I advise him to talk to her again if he wants to (which he does)?
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 6:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 24, 2013 at 6:57 PM
1 mom liked this
He needs to move on.
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lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 7:35 PM

I would step back and let him do what he feels is best. That way he learns and he can not blame you for bad advice. Its part of being a teen to learn how to handle these things.

arkmomma06
by Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 7:43 PM
1 mom liked this
Maybe he should tell her that he would be there for her if she needs someone to talk to. Then if it leads into something other than just friends, then that will be good.
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bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Feb. 24, 2013 at 8:04 PM
Maybe one more time, gently suggest that people usually say what they mean, she said she doesn't want a relationship. If he continues, Fantastic below has great advice, they have to learn these things.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

I would step back and let him do what he feels is best. That way he learns and he can not blame you for bad advice. Its part of being a teen to learn how to handle these things.

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bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Feb. 24, 2013 at 8:05 PM
Oops sorry was Lucky with the great advice! :)

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

I would step back and let him do what he feels is best. That way he learns and he can not blame you for bad advice. Its part of being a teen to learn how to handle these things.

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sabrtooth1
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 9:09 PM
1 mom liked this
She has said no repeatedly. His persistence is beginning to look creepy to me, I can just imagine how she feels. You need to tell him to back off.
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xtwistedxlovex
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 9:12 PM

I would say that he should take her seriously when she says she doesn't want a relationship. He can be her friend and hope some day she might be ready and willing, but pestering is not going to earn him any points with her.

Edit: Oops...didn't realize I'd wandered into a group I'm not a member of. The title caught my attention in the side bar. I don't have a teen, but I'm not that far off from having been a shy teenaged girl myself and can pretty well remember how it felt when guys wouldn't back off. To be honest, I think she probably just doesn't want a relationship with him and didn't want to hurt his feelings. Whatever the reason, if she says it's not an option right now then he should back off at least for now.

moneysaver6
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 9:15 PM
It's possible she just doesn't want to date yet.
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Mrs.Kubalabuku
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 9:16 PM

He needs to move on.

I was that girl in HS.  I had zero interest in dating.  I had career goals and life goals in mind.  And NOTHING was worse than when a boy wouldn't let it go.  It ruined many decent friendships, and I even had to take legal action against some boys.

Tell him he can stay her friend, but that if she didn't want to date he should respect that.  If you encourage him to go on or don't offer advice on when to know it is over, don't be surprised if he takes it too far and gets in some awkward spots or trouble.  Life isn't like a romantic comedy where he can eventually win her over.  Haven't you ever stopped to think how creepy some of that "romantic" stuff would be in real life!?  lol

LoveonHollySt
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 9:02 AM

I would advise him to move on and not even worry about trying to be friends.  It will hurt and he will have a hard time for a while but I feel it best in everyone's interests.

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