Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

allowance changes

Posted by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 10:50 AM
  • 10 Replies

Hey I just wanted to share what changes I have made in my kids allowance.

They are 12 and 13 and one has a problem with spending the other with not spending.

They were getting $7 a week and I would put in their bank account. Then I would often pay for school dances, lunches etc sometimes out of their bank but most often out of mine.

It often seemed I was doling out money. Everytime I had spare change I would dish it out. Don't get me wrong I was not spoiling them and  I would say no often and then it was a fight, escpecially with my DD as she has some developmental and behaviour challenges where she likes conflict.

Well I sat them down a couple of weeks ago and told them I was raising their allowance but they had to pay for almost everything themselves. I got some tips from some parenting books/websites on how to do this.

I gave them a short money mangement class and they get $15 a week now. $3 in the bank and the other $12 in cash.  They are not really happy about this but will adjust.

There have been some problems already and it is too early to tell if it will really work but so far I am enjoying not listening to "But I NEED $2 for school tomorrow"   :)

The funny thing is that all of a sudden they no longer seem to NEED these things as much LOL

by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 10:50 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Mar. 5, 2013 at 10:56 AM

I hope it works out for you.       Are they expected to pay for their own lunches and school expenses?  




MJP76
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:03 AM
2 moms liked this

So you give them 15 a week and lunches (at least here) are 2.50 a day. So that's 12.50....that's giving them 2.50 a week for allowance??

im sorry but you are the parent, it's your job to feed them. I think your method is cheating your children. I get making them pay for extra things, our kids save their allowance to pay for extra things .. But the essentials... That's your job.

stamm
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:12 AM

Yes they are expected to pay for lunches if they want to buy them at school instead of making them at home.

We told them we would pay for basic school supplies but if they lose/mistreat or want anything extra, they would have to pay. Also they have to pay for school dances and events but we would pay for the student fees at the first of the year which include most field trips.

My 13 year old DD already had to pay $5 for a school movie day and she chose another $1 for a snack at the theatre so that took half her money for that week.

Hopefully it will teach them to save and think ahead. I told them some weeks they may have to choose between a school dance and a new t-shirt for example. Also they may need to plan ahead and wait until they save enough money for both. They don't like having to wait for what they want. My DD has a hard time having money in her possession and not spending it. Hopefully it will help her learn some self control even if the lesson makes it rough for a few weeks on her.

Quoting boys2men2soon:

I hope it works out for you.       Are they expected to pay for their own lunches and school expenses?  


 

stamm
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:17 AM

 


Quoting MJP76:

So you give them 15 a week and lunches (at least here) are 2.50 a day. So that's 12.50....that's giving them 2.50 a week for allowance??

im sorry but you are the parent, it's your job to feed them. I think your method is cheating your children. I get making them pay for extra things, our kids save their allowance to pay for extra things .. But the essentials... That's your job.

I respect your opinion but disagree. Why do they need to buy junky school lunches when they have sandwiches/salads etc that they can make at home and bring that I do provide. When they get out in the real world would they buy lunch everyday at work?
They have no bills so everything (except clothes maybe) is extra.

 

LuckyMom822
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:26 AM

I think it's a fair deal. My dd doesn't get an allowance but she babysits and has other ways of making money. If she wants something then she pulls it out of her stash or works to get it. Her lunch is $5 a day so I will buy once or twice a week but that's it. Anymore than that she buys. And she has learned to pack a lunch. Her dad and I buy clothes, shoes, pay for sports activities. But the little things add up quick! $5 here, $10 here. It has taught her money management.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:30 AM
2 moms liked this


Quoting stamm:

Yes they are expected to pay for lunches if they want to buy them at school instead of making them at home.

We told them we would pay for basic school supplies but if they lose/mistreat or want anything extra, they would have to pay. Also they have to pay for school dances and events but we would pay for the student fees at the first of the year which include most field trips.

My 13 year old DD already had to pay $5 for a school movie day and she chose another $1 for a snack at the theatre so that took half her money for that week.

Hopefully it will teach them to save and think ahead. I told them some weeks they may have to choose between a school dance and a new t-shirt for example. Also they may need to plan ahead and wait until they save enough money for both. They don't like having to wait for what they want. My DD has a hard time having money in her possession and not spending it. Hopefully it will help her learn some self control even if the lesson makes it rough for a few weeks on her.

Quoting boys2men2soon:

I hope it works out for you.       Are they expected to pay for their own lunches and school expenses?  



Okay.  I understand the concept.... but I think $15 per week is very low.   That would pay to see a movie or go skating on the weekend.... but not much else.      To me, allowance is spending money... not essential money.    I would not expect my kids to pay for school related events, materials for school projects, lunches, school clothes or extra curricular activities.... like sports, band, choir.   That's just me, though.





stamm
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:33 AM

 


Quoting LuckyMom822:

I think it's a fair deal. My dd doesn't get an allowance but she babysits and has other ways of making money. If she wants something then she pulls it out of her stash or works to get it. Her lunch is $5 a day so I will buy once or twice a week but that's it. Anymore than that she buys. And she has learned to pack a lunch. Her dad and I buy clothes, shoes, pay for sports activities. But the little things add up quick! $5 here, $10 here. It has taught her money management.

That is great. We will continue to pay for sports activities and needed equipment as well. They will be paying for clothes and shoes though for the most part. We may make an exception for things like winter boots on a case by case basis.

 

MJP76
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:47 AM


That's not how you made the post appear. You should have been more clear. Personally my children don't have the option at all to eat school lunches, because I don't GIVE them that option. So, I only assumed you posted about school lunches because thats what they ate, you didn't indicate there were other options for them. 

As far as your question about getting out in the real world would they buy their lunch. The answer would be no. If you taught them the value of good food and packing their lunches as children, then that is probably something they would take with them as an adult. I did, my husband did. Although now that we are grown and buy groceries, DH still packs lunches. BUT even if they did decide that's what they wanted to do when they were grown (get take-out for lunches) that shouldn't impact what they do now as children. 

Although, I see your point NOW that you've made it more clear, I do agree that if that option is there for them, then yes they should spend their own money. However, I'm not sure why it's an option.

Quoting stamm:



Quoting MJP76:

So you give them 15 a week and lunches (at least here) are 2.50 a day. So that's 12.50....that's giving them 2.50 a week for allowance??

im sorry but you are the parent, it's your job to feed them. I think your method is cheating your children. I get making them pay for extra things, our kids save their allowance to pay for extra things .. But the essentials... That's your job.

I respect your opinion but disagree. Why do they need to buy junky school lunches when they have sandwiches/salads etc that they can make at home and bring that I do provide. When they get out in the real world would they buy lunch everyday at work?
They have no bills so everything (except clothes maybe) is extra.




chattycassie
by Bronze Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 12:00 PM

 I pay for my kds school lunches and ANYTHING related to school. However if my kids want extra stuff they get an allowance (they work for it too) I give them 5 a week they each have 5 chores. I am cheap, but I figure I cover everything else they will be fine. :)

drfink
by Emily on Mar. 5, 2013 at 5:53 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting boys2men2soon:


Quoting stamm:

Yes they are expected to pay for lunches if they want to buy them at school instead of making them at home.

We told them we would pay for basic school supplies but if they lose/mistreat or want anything extra, they would have to pay. Also they have to pay for school dances and events but we would pay for the student fees at the first of the year which include most field trips.

My 13 year old DD already had to pay $5 for a school movie day and she chose another $1 for a snack at the theatre so that took half her money for that week.

Hopefully it will teach them to save and think ahead. I told them some weeks they may have to choose between a school dance and a new t-shirt for example. Also they may need to plan ahead and wait until they save enough money for both. They don't like having to wait for what they want. My DD has a hard time having money in her possession and not spending it. Hopefully it will help her learn some self control even if the lesson makes it rough for a few weeks on her.

Quoting boys2men2soon:

I hope it works out for you.       Are they expected to pay for their own lunches and school expenses?  



Okay.  I understand the concept.... but I think $15 per week is very low.   That would pay to see a movie or go skating on the weekend.... but not much else.      To me, allowance is spending money... not essential money.    I would not expect my kids to pay for school related events, materials for school projects, lunches, school clothes or extra curricular activities.... like sports, band, choir.   That's just me, though.


Agree ,we WANT them to participate in school activities even the social ones like dances .When they get in high school we provide money for going to football etc games but if they want to buy popcorn or a Dr.Pepper at games that is allowance money.

We give a significant increase in allowance in around 7th .The age they can go to matinees and other things without us.These type of activities are what their allowance is for.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)