I was going to make this post concerning two separate issues...one concern leads to another. I'll post the other under a different title to make it less confusing.
So, I'm dealing with my 17 yo dd possibly being gay or bi. Last yr my dd was texting a girl and certain texts, pictures, etc she would take a pic of and save to her iPhone. We were both unaware that all of our electronics had the picture sharing turned on(well at least her phone did). So all her stuff went to my iPad. That's how I found out. I was really upset and confused about this. More upset that she was hiding this from me. When I said something to her abt it she cld not figure out how I found out. It took her a while, but eventually she did figure out how I found out. She stopped the pict sharing and put a pass code on her phone. She tried to say at first that she didn't know what I was talking about and that this girl was only her friend because her other friends had bf and they were always with their bf and could not hang out with her. Knew she was lying...I started not trusting her. So now I'm suspicious of everything she does.
She goes to dance class three days a week and sometimes takes a really long time to get home. So i think shes meeting up with this girl. She has asked to stay the night with another friend when that friends parents were out of town. I think that was Feb 14? And later found she purchased a package of fake rose petals that came with two small candles...petals were gone. So now I'm thinking she actually stayed with the gf. She told me two Sundays ago that her and her BFF were going to town to eat and see a movie. She said they were going to a certain place to eat and her BFF bf wanted to try that place, but she was eating their first. Not to say anything to him. I said to my dd that if I text the BFF mom that she can confirm they did go to town together and dd said yes. Well I did talk to the mom I found out that the BFF was taking her bf and they were meeting up with my dd and her gf. They took two separate vehicles..double date. I'm pissed that she lied and is sneaking around behind my back.
I feel like the gf pulled my dd into all this. In the past, my dd has been confronted with other gay girls and she responded by asking her friends what do I do. Friends told her to tell girl your not that way and that's what happened. I think the gf is gay, but dont think my dd is. She had an 7 mo getting to know this 18 yo guy his Senior years and was really shy to talk to me abt him. She's had that reaction abt other boys too. In 2011 she was writing notes to an older boy and they liked each other. Then when prom cam around 2012, he took another girl. So I'm really confused what may have happened. I'm thinking he asked her and she said no because she wld have to tell us abt the date and she wanted to avoid all that embarrassing stuff.
I'm not sure how to handle all this. I think I'd be more upset if she told me she was gay rather then bi. I consider myself to be bi. I guess the way I see things is that a bi usually likes to be with a man, but doesnt mind being with a woman. They don't tend to date, hold hands, or act like a couple. At least this is how I am. But my dd is doing those things.
This girl showed up at a dance comp this past weekend and I was livid. Dd tried to say she was there with friends to see a friends cousin dance. I don't buy it. Dd finally said (via txt) that if this girl makes her happy shouldn't that be all that matters? She also said she liked this girl. Never answered the Q about being gay or not. I'm not even sure she fully understands the difference between the two.
Now prom is coming up in about a month and I'd like her to go with a boy, but know that's not going to happen. I know her date will be this girl. Anyhow, a lot of the kids go stag cause they don't have bf/gf and don't get asked. I feel everything is getting screwed up. I'm thinking I'm surely not allowing this girl to take my dd to prom. But thinking dd (or this girl) wil find away around it. Dd did not sneak around in the past and now I feel this girl is a bad influence on her. Since I know she will be going to prom, I've got prom q's but will leave that in a separate post.
thanks to all