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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

he wants custody

Posted by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 5:15 AM
  • 10 Replies

my ex and I been divorced 10 yrs now he didn't want anything to do with kids, 4 yrs ago my oldest wante to meet his dad and I finally gave in. So every vacation time they have they visit with him. He gave up his Parental rights 10 yrs ago. I'm doing this for my sons, my yuoungest wont get close to my ex, hes never connected with him. He's 10 but my oldest is my ex fav and he talks to my 14yr old almost every day on xbox live. well now my ex wants to have my son live with him, just the 14yr old. They're about to go up there for spring break and I'm not ready to give up my baby...He asked our son and my son loves him so much hes concidered it. Looks like hes gonna proseed with lawyers to make it legal so theres no trouble, I'm freaking....and we (me & kids) we're about to move to another state in Sept. But if he moves in with his dad, I'm prob hae to change my long term plans to 8hrs away to be closer to my kid

by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 5:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
VickyJoJo
by Member on Mar. 15, 2013 at 6:32 AM

 If he gave up his rights 10 years ago, then I am a little unclear as to why he would have a leg to stand on to get custody.  To me, it seems that you have the final authority on where your son lives.  So if you want to move, your son needs to move with you.  While your 14YO is old enough to express an opinion about where he lives, he does not get to make that decision.  He can still have the visits but only because you are allowing it. 

 

I also think that it is extremely poor parenting on your ex's part to favor the older son and strive to split the older son from the younger one.  He is not putting the best interests of both children first.  Please seek out legal counsel and don't let him or your son steamroll you into this decision that will have major consequences for both your sons.  Stay strong to what you believe is right for you and your sons.  Good luck.

Jakejulemom
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 9:19 AM
She is right you have the u
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Jakejulemom
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 9:21 AM
She is right you have the u have the upper hand in this one , in your decree don't you get final say , you hold the cards.
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02nana07
by Ida on Mar. 15, 2013 at 9:38 AM

 If he gave up his rights he can't go for custody he would have to prove you unfit and then if they are taken from you try to adopt because legally he isn't the father if he gave up his rights. 

racheal241977
by Member on Mar. 15, 2013 at 11:16 AM

if he legally gave up his rights, he has no leg to stand on. 

I don't think I would let them go for the visits, but that is just me. Who is to say he won't try to keep him ?

You can call the cops if that happen's. but giving he did give up his rights you do not have to let them visit him. 

Hugs, I am sure it is tough

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Mar. 15, 2013 at 1:09 PM
If he gave up his rights he's going to have a tough time gaining custody again no matter what your son wants. I wouldn't worry until you have something solid to actually worry about.
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MrsBLB
by Missi on Mar. 15, 2013 at 5:04 PM

I agree with the other moms.  Try not to worry too much.  Hugs

fammatthews4
by Trisha on Mar. 15, 2013 at 6:07 PM
I don't see any judge giving him custody of a child he has given up his rights too. Hang in there I hope it works out.
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singlemom416
by Member on Mar. 15, 2013 at 6:16 PM

Your ex is up the creek he has no legal rights and no court in this world would allow your son to live with him.Just tell your son wait and see what your dad does(dad may give up once he see's he cant do it and how much it would cost to fight),because legally he can not get custody of you (and explain why). That way when your ex's fails and your son see's he is all talk none of the blame falls on you. Your son is 14 he doesnt not get a choice in the matter,esp since this man is not legally his father.

21lisa72
by Member on Mar. 15, 2013 at 6:46 PM
I don't think he will have a right to them due to giving up rights but if he is taking them out of state or far away for spring break I would have your lawyer write up papers of the dates he will have them, the address and phone number they will be staying at they have to call you at least once a day ( hopefully you have caller Id to see where they are calling from and make sure your oldest atleast has a secret cell for security. That way just in case he plans on moving them without your knowledge you have some tracking info. I don't think if he was taking them far I would allow a week maybe 4 days max to keep them close. He sounds like a flight risk and get a tracking cell so you can track them. The boys may get upset with you but take it with a grain of salt depending how old they are go into detail why you are worried. He probably makes it all fun and games no rules so they will like him better and I would not be surprised if he wants them to get child support. If you sign away your parental rights I am not sure you can get them back and at best I would have visits supervised by a trusting relative or friend of yours not his. It's not worth it. If my sons dad came back into his life I couldn't trust him. He is an addict and no way would he take him. At best I might allow him to watch him play hockey and play in the game room or have a snack after but I would be in ear shot! Good luck
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