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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

advice on how to handle this

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:27 PM
  • 14 Replies

i have 5 kids.  the oldest is 15 and there's an age between him & the other 4 (they are 7,4,2, and 4 months).  he went to public school K-8th grade & we started homeschooling the year he started 9th grade.  everything was fine.  once 10th grade started, though, he turned in to a completely different kid.  he started bullying the little kids, being really hateful to everyone in the house, including me. i *thought* the behavior was because he was so unhappy being at home with us all day.  he was enrolled back in public school a couple of months ago.  his behavior has improved, but not by much.  yesterday, we were looking for the tv remote control and thought the toddler could have taken it to his room.  my husband looked under the bed and in the closet.  my son was in the room with him, so he knew we were in there & knew we were looking around.  in the  top of the closet, we found the very bottom part of a baggie filled with crushed up pills.  he said they were tylenol PMs and he breaks them up because he can't take an entire pill.  well, 1st, even if the story was believable (which it's not), he's not even allowed to take tylenol PM and 2nd, the story was complete BS.  i'm not sure why parents think their parents are so stupid.  part of the punishment is knowing that i will check his backpack every morning before school.  i just got an email from his 3rd period teacher that he's skipping class.  i am beyond livid.  i have no idea what is going on with him and typical punishments aren't being effective.  any suggestions?

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:39 PM
You DO know what he's doing. He is at minimum doing drugs. Possibly even selling them. He is hiding things and lying to you.

I would get him in to see a Dr for a full physical with drug testing. I would get him to see a therapist.

I would call the school and update them. Get someone to verify he is making it from class to class.
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MrsImperfect
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:42 PM
When I was 15 I did the same thing. I hated the world and everyone in it and I treated everyone as so. I was suffering from manic depression.
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almondpigeon
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:55 PM


I've emailed all of his teachers & asked that they let me know if he's ever absent from class.

I'm about to go to the pharmacy & buy a drug testing kit.

I've completely tossed his room & didn't find anything incriminating other than composition books filled with filthy original song lycrics

I've taken all the cords from his computer, tv & xbox.

I'm really at a loss here.  I've been chalking up his behavior to normal teenage angst.  This is something completely different, yes?  Crap.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

You DO know what he's doing. He is at minimum doing drugs. Possibly even selling them. He is hiding things and lying to you.

I would get him in to see a Dr for a full physical with drug testing. I would get him to see a therapist.

I would call the school and update them. Get someone to verify he is making it from class to class.



almondpigeon
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:56 PM

I have noticed that he has some serious rage issues.  I haven't seen in a while, but I'm thinking a dr's visit might be in order.  Depression & bi-polar run in my family.


Quoting MrsImperfect:

When I was 15 I did the same thing. I hated the world and everyone in it and I treated everyone as so. I was suffering from manic depression.



pdxmum
by Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:34 PM

Wait on the drug test.  Let the doctor do it.  You are too angry and emotional right now, understandably so.

Can you identify the drug in the baggie?  You should bring that to the doc's office as well.  If you can see any markings on the pill, google pill identification and you should be able to figure it out.

He could be suffering from a mental illness, or he could be acting out like a normal teen.  get a full physical.  Find a family therapist or someone he can see on his own.  Probably on his own is better but a therapist that will work with you and DH as well.

Teen depression is very different from adult depression.  Do some research.


Quoting almondpigeon:

I have noticed that he has some serious rage issues.  I haven't seen in a while, but I'm thinking a dr's visit might be in order.  Depression & bi-polar run in my family.


Quoting MrsImperfect:

When I was 15 I did the same thing. I hated the world and everyone in it and I treated everyone as so. I was suffering from manic depression.





almondpigeon
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:39 PM


we know for sure that the pills in the baggie were tylenol PM.  i did go to the pharmacy and buy one of those drug tests that test for several diff substances.  he tested negative on all (that's a relief)

he's swearing he didn't skip class, but was late to class because he was in the guidance office working on next years schedule.  i've emailed his guidance counselor to confirm.

i'm being very calm since i really don't know what's going on with him, if anything.

Quoting pdxmum:

Wait on the drug test.  Let the doctor do it.  You are too angry and emotional right now, understandably so.

Can you identify the drug in the baggie?  You should bring that to the doc's office as well.  If you can see any markings on the pill, google pill identification and you should be able to figure it out.

He could be suffering from a mental illness, or he could be acting out like a normal teen.  get a full physical.  Find a family therapist or someone he can see on his own.  Probably on his own is better but a therapist that will work with you and DH as well.

Teen depression is very different from adult depression.  Do some research.


Quoting almondpigeon:

I have noticed that he has some serious rage issues.  I haven't seen in a while, but I'm thinking a dr's visit might be in order.  Depression & bi-polar run in my family.


Quoting MrsImperfect:

When I was 15 I did the same thing. I hated the world and everyone in it and I treated everyone as so. I was suffering from manic depression.







luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:51 PM
1 mom liked this

Have you had a sit down, heart to heart, talk with him?

This very well could be teenage anger, some kids just don't understand why they are angry, usually it's hormonal. It could be something else. Get him a check-up, talk to his doctor, and then decide what to do from there.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:00 AM

With the crushed up pills in his room, where did he get them?  From your medicine cabinet?  If so LOCK EVERYTHING UP.  He also needs to see a counselor.  Typically teenage behavior turns a nice and kind young man into some sort of monster alot of times, but those pills have me worried.

BelleVernonGirl
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 2:18 AM

My friend is going through something like this with her son...she drug tests him all the time but so many of the drugs now don't stay in your system long.  Her son admitted he was taking aderol (sp) Kids at school were giving it to him...well it only stays in your system for 8 hours...so unless she tests him twice a day ($25 a pop for the drugs test) then she prob won't catch him...It's an awful situation...GOOD LUCK MOMMA!

almondpigeon
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 8:21 AM
I never even thought about aderol ( I don't know how to spell it either :) or ritalin. I've made it clear he will have to walk the line or we will go back to homeschool. Im going to call today & make an appt with his doctor.


Quoting BelleVernonGirl:

My friend is going through something like this with her son...she drug tests him all the time but so many of the drugs now don't stay in your system long.  Her son admitted he was taking aderol (sp) Kids at school were giving it to him...well it only stays in your system for 8 hours...so unless she tests him twice a day ($25 a pop for the drugs test) then she prob won't catch him...It's an awful situation...GOOD LUCK MOMMA!


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