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DD in a long distance relationship

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:54 PM
  • 37 Replies
My dd is 17 years old and about to graduate from high school. She met a boy online and they have been "dating" for about 4 months now. He is 21 and about to graduate from college. The age thing isn't really a big deal to my husband and I as it's only four years. This isn't her first boyfriend but he is the first one she's ever said she loved. What I'm uncomfortable with is that after a month they were planning on her going to his graduation, then a mini vacation together and moving in together right after that. She'll be 18 by the time this all comes around so I can't stop her, but I'm concerned for her. She is going to college in Florida in the fall, we love in Michigan, after he graduates he plans on moving down there and they want to get an apartment together. This is her life and her choices, but I would be more comfortable if we knew the boy. She'll be the first child leaving home, and it's a big move plus a serious big step in her relationship. Has anyone been a situation like this or have any advice? My husband is having an especially hard time dealing with this. He's not her biological father but he's the one who raised her and the only daddy she has ever known.
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by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
HopesNDreams
by Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:58 PM
The only thing I can offer is that DH's ex met and moved in with an Internet boyfriend. She died six weeks later under suspicious circumstances.

She is still very new at being an adult. Perhaps a bit more guidance is needed. There are so many red flags in this, I cannot begin to address them all.
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atlmom2
by Susie on Mar. 18, 2013 at 6:00 PM
Sounds like a train wreck. Could be 100% fake also.
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NPoore52
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 6:03 PM
That's one of my main concerns with this. I don't know what she's getting into. I'm trying to guide her the best I can and discuss it with her but it's new to me. For now I told her that she is not allowed to meet him until after she turns 18. That gives me until December.


Quoting HopesNDreams:

The only thing I can offer is that DH's ex met and moved in with an Internet boyfriend. She died six weeks later under suspicious circumstances.



She is still very new at being an adult. Perhaps a bit more guidance is needed. There are so many red flags in this, I cannot begin to address them all.

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drfink
by Emily on Mar. 18, 2013 at 6:38 PM

on the Internet ????

She should talk to my uncle.He is  a retired judge that had been a Federal D.A. , when he was an Assistant D.A. he specialized prosecuting sex crimes .The stories he has told us of sex crimes that started on the Internet would simply terrify her.

GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 6:50 PM
How old was she when she started talking to him? Why didn't you stop her then? Have you ever seen her webcam with him? That could give you an indication (if it's a video loop - so a fake webcam or not) whether this is fake. Even if he is a 21yo guy he could still be dangerous...got no advice for you now though; she's almost a legal adult. You can't stop her :(
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fammatthews4
by Trisha on Mar. 18, 2013 at 6:58 PM

Honestly I think I would have her invite him to your city now where you can be with her when she meets him.  Letting her meet him away from you where you can not meet him too and find out what kind of person he is, is extremely dangerous.

Quoting NPoore52:

That's one of my main concerns with this. I don't know what she's getting into. I'm trying to guide her the best I can and discuss it with her but it's new to me. For now I told her that she is not allowed to meet him until after she turns 18. That gives me until December.


Quoting HopesNDreams:

The only thing I can offer is that DH's ex met and moved in with an Internet boyfriend. She died six weeks later under suspicious circumstances.



She is still very new at being an adult. Perhaps a bit more guidance is needed. There are so many red flags in this, I cannot begin to address them all.


lakerfan420
by Jamie on Mar. 18, 2013 at 7:45 PM
I agree with this. And being that they met online I'd also run a background check. Unfortunately you can't be too safe now a days. With that said, a good friend of mine met her dh online and they're getting ready to celebrate their 8 year anniversary next month. So while we tend to only hear about the horrible outcomes, positive ones do also exist.


Quoting fammatthews4:

Honestly I think I would have her invite him to your city now where you can be with her when she meets him.  Letting her meet him away from you where you can not meet him too and find out what kind of person he is, is extremely dangerous.

Quoting NPoore52:

That's one of my main concerns with this. I don't know what she's getting into. I'm trying to guide her the best I can and discuss it with her but it's new to me. For now I told her that she is not allowed to meet him until after she turns 18. That gives me until December.





Quoting HopesNDreams:

The only thing I can offer is that DH's ex met and moved in with an Internet boyfriend. She died six weeks later under suspicious circumstances.





She is still very new at being an adult. Perhaps a bit more guidance is needed. There are so many red flags in this, I cannot begin to address them all.




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atlmom2
by Susie on Mar. 18, 2013 at 7:52 PM
What does a 21 yo want with 17 yo he has never met????
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GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:53 PM

Quoting atlmom2:

What does a 21 yo want with 17 yo he has never met????

Exactly what I thought.
MrsBLB
by Missi on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:07 PM

I would invite him to visit y'all.  I am a little concerned with the ages.

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