New to the group but not CM. Could use a little HELPFUL advice about a recent situation with my teen (14) daughter.
A little background on her... she's typically a good child!! Good grades, no trouble at school- at worst she sometimes back talks but accepts her punishment for it well, and is helpful around the house without complaint. She has had what she called a "boyfriend" for about six months. And, by this I mean they only see each other during school hours. All seemed pretty innocent so we didn't object- we didn't encourage, but didn't object.
When she turned 13 1/2 we allowed her a Facebook account and other privileges because she had proved herself responsible. I monitored ALL of these privileges (have passwords and DO check in on what she's doing) and there hasn't been a single issue in the last six months... until yesterday when I learned that she took multiple pictures of herself in her bra and underwear and showed them to a boy from school! Not even her "boyfriend," a different boy- not that it would really have made this less of an issue. Since she doesn't have her own phone she used her Nintendo DS to take the pictures then allowed the boy to take her DS home and look at them. He took pictures of himself shirtless and gave her back the DS so she could look at them. Quite a sneaky way to go about something like this! Now, we've had many conversations with her in the past about respecting herself, the birds and the bees, etc. She's usually very open to these types of discussions- asks questions, comes to us with things, etc. So I know she understands this type of behavior is not appropriate!
Since learning about the issue we grounded her and took away ALL of her privileges- she literally has to sit at the kitchen counter from the moment she gets home from school until bed time- no electronics whatsoever. Her birthday party was supposed to be this weekend- cancelled! She really isn't allowed to do anything except use the restroom, eat, complete her homework, and do chores. We have had several long talks with her about why her actions were inappropriate and unacceptable but I'm not sure what to do beyond this?? She seems like she understand and "gets" what we are saying, and she is apologetic about the situation. But because she was so sneaky about the whole thing I am left to wonder if she's just telling us what we want to hear. I know we can't ground her forever but we haven't yet told her how long she'll be grounded and she hasn't asked. I'm just not sure what to do next. What is an acceptable punishment for this type of behavior?? Anyone have experience with a similar situation? How did you handle it? Any helpful advice is appreciated.. I'm just at my wits end with the whole thing...