UPDATED: How to interact with a "stranger" in the house?
Ok, so my son has become a stranger. A hateful, brooding, mean, spiteful, and hurtful stranger. It has gotten to the point where I don't even want to be around him and feel like a prisoner in the house. You can't leave him alone because he will trash something, you can't take him anywhere because of his attitude.
School is canceled tomorrow and when I heard I just cried. That's how bad I feel. I might not feel this way if I didn't have 2 funerals this week, extra stress from all of that plus some, but I just feel like I have a hostile stranger around the house.
What should I do? Hubby can't take the day off and I can't lock myself downstairs (basement is my space) because I have 2 other kids he will terrorize if I do. I'm just beside myself.
I explained to all three children today I am not going to be disrespected anymore. The girls I don't have a huge problem with it. I told him that I am not going to take it and if he does it then he will have to wait outside for his father to come home (he's due home for lunch but I would have called him to tell him to come home immediately). I told him to do something constructive. To better himself or others or to help himself or others and he needs to come out of his room to do it, then to ask me.
Found him 10 minutes later back in bed. I told him that it wasn't constructive and he said he was going to study. Asked him what chapter he was on. I don't know. I asked if he used the book in class (some teachers don't use the book), yes. How do you not know what chapter you're on? I don't know. I told him that if he misses another assignment in either English or History he's going to fail the class (which is true. He is less than .2 away from an F). Then I told him that he's not going to hurt me anymore and I'm not going to let him be mean to me anymore.
THAT'S when he blew up. Started screaming at me, about how he hates me, can't stand me, hates the sight of me, he can't stop me from abusing and hurting him. I asked him how it is that I hurt and abuse him, and he through his textbook at me. So yeah. He went outside.
Then he took off. After 30 minutes of looking for him he was on the porch when I got home. The COVERED FRONT PORCH. Now he's on the UNCOVERED back porch banging around because he's cold and it's wet. It's like he TRIES to make himself more miserable. He was not told he couldn't be on the front porch, in fact, I'm doing laundry and the dryer vent is there and he would be WARM there. But no he's on the back porch getting wet.