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I have rules, but I am not outrageously strict

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 1:06 AM
  • 13 Replies

I have rules I expect my teens to follow and I expect their friends to follow them when they are in my house. 

Have you noticed that the kids in your neighborhood avoid your house and your kids because you have rules?  Where as someone you know to not have rules the kids LOVE to congregate over there?

I don't expect the kids to sit on their hands and be absolutely quiet, but I do expect them to respect my property and keep the noise down to a dull roar or go outside.

I feel kinda bad for my kids like they are being left out, but I don't want them to get mixed up with the bad apples.  Too long to go into details, but if you recognize my name I have posted about my friend and her kids living with us. 

Hanging around them during the daytime or over here at night is one thing, but its 2 am do you know where your kids are and what they are doing???

by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 1:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 1:56 AM

My DD's friends thought our house was the "fun" house because I did craft activites, I played games with them, I watched them at the park, and as she grew older I was happy to take *them* to the movies, to the shops, and actually go shopping with them. DD and her girl friends will sit and gossip to me abut who likes who, different members of the groups doing things, they're really close. My younger 3 I still take and stay throughout the play dates so I don't have to worry about being unsupervised and they all follow my rules because I'M THERE. As for beign 2am - My eldest is just falling asleep; my middle is dead to the world and 1 if not both of the twins are in my bed with sore legs or tummy pains.

Jebekarue
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 2:36 AM

Our house use to be the fun house until we moved here.  It seems most of the parents in this neighborhood do not have rules and don't care if their kids are running the streets all night. 

We use to have kids come over all the time to watch movies, play games or whatever.  I don't know if they just don't feel comfortable hanging around with the other kids cause they know their parents have no rules and know I would ground them forever if they got into trouble with them. Or if I have taught and instilled values and morals in them that they don't want to associate with the other kids cause they don't approve of what they are doing either.  They hang out sometimes, but typically only if they come over and ask them to come out.  But then my kids have curfew and then ask at 10:30 at night to spend the night and thats a big NO!!!

My kids are 17 boy and 14 girl.  Its 1:30 now and they are both asleep.  They stayed up until midnight cause its spring break here, but I can hear kids running up and down the street right now.  

Sorry but nothing good can come out of running the streets this late at night. 

My friend has no rules at her house, her kids are 15 girl 13 boy.  Her son at 12 got caught smoking and having sex.  She never punished him.  Then she posts on FB that she doesn't know what she is gonna do with him, that he is out of control, staying out all hours of the night, smoking, not really getting into destroying property or anything like that,  that I know of (havnt heard anything yet) Most of his stuff is self destructive like drinking energy drinks on a constant basis, smoking, having sex and staying out most of the night. 

I wanted to say something to her soooo bad on FB but I didn't.  She wouldn't listen anyway, I tried talking to her when she lived with us and she called me over protective, over bearing, that I smother my kids and I have too many rules.  She said oh well I don't have any rules they can do what ever and they have to pay the price themselves for being stupid. Then wonders why she can't control her son.

atlmom2
by Susie on Mar. 28, 2013 at 8:11 AM
2 moms liked this
I had rules and we were the party house. Non alcohol party house. Had kids here all the time through the hs years.
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Txlisa7969
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 8:36 AM
1 mom liked this

Like atlmom2 we have rules but our house is still the hang out house for my kids and their friends.   It gets noisy and chaotic from time to time but I wouldn't change it.  I know where my kiddos are and who they are with.  I keep us stocked in teen friendly snacks and make sure their friends feel welcome.  And I am the strictest Mom of all their friends.  The main difference I see between me and some of their friend's parents is that I am involved and actually like to be around my kids. I don't know how long you have lived where you are now since you say you just moved there but give it a little time.  

PurpleHazey
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 8:45 AM

Nope all the kids no I have rules and they are just fine with them!

PurpleHazey
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 8:46 AM



Quoting atlmom2:

I had rules and we were the party house. Non alcohol party house. Had kids here all the time through the hs years.

Mine too, I had and still have kids who think they live here.


GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 9:03 AM

I really really really hated it when my eldest did that. I said no pretty much every single time until she was...14 I think, and then I started to relent cause I *liked* her friends. I said no pretty much to anything outside of school when we moved to a bad area because I didn't trust the other kids not to take advantage of her, and now that we're here, there's 2 kids that I trust her with. One; the girls parents are on the same page as us and she loved talking to them as much as she loved talking to her friend - and 2; her guy best friend who would take a freaking bullet for her if the time came.


Quoting Jebekarue:

Our house use to be the fun house until we moved here.  It seems most of the parents in this neighborhood do not have rules and don't care if their kids are running the streets all night. 

We use to have kids come over all the time to watch movies, play games or whatever.  I don't know if they just don't feel comfortable hanging around with the other kids cause they know their parents have no rules and know I would ground them forever if they got into trouble with them. Or if I have taught and instilled values and morals in them that they don't want to associate with the other kids cause they don't approve of what they are doing either.  They hang out sometimes, but typically only if they come over and ask them to come out.  But then my kids have curfew and then ask at 10:30 at night to spend the night and thats a big NO!!!

My kids are 17 boy and 14 girl.  Its 1:30 now and they are both asleep.  They stayed up until midnight cause its spring break here, but I can hear kids running up and down the street right now.  

Sorry but nothing good can come out of running the streets this late at night. 

My friend has no rules at her house, her kids are 15 girl 13 boy.  Her son at 12 got caught smoking and having sex.  She never punished him.  Then she posts on FB that she doesn't know what she is gonna do with him, that he is out of control, staying out all hours of the night, smoking, not really getting into destroying property or anything like that,  that I know of (havnt heard anything yet) Most of his stuff is self destructive like drinking energy drinks on a constant basis, smoking, having sex and staying out most of the night. 

I wanted to say something to her soooo bad on FB but I didn't.  She wouldn't listen anyway, I tried talking to her when she lived with us and she called me over protective, over bearing, that I smother my kids and I have too many rules.  She said oh well I don't have any rules they can do what ever and they have to pay the price themselves for being stupid. Then wonders why she can't control her son.



fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Mar. 28, 2013 at 9:27 AM

 At 2am I know where everyone is.  As far as being strict and having their friends not wanting to come over, there's only one who doesn't like me.

Lorik1969
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 9:31 AM
It would help to know what some of the rules are that you have. Is it possible that the rules worked when they were younger but haven't adapted as they've grown, and that's why you don't have many kids hanging out anymore?
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Jebekarue
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 9:42 AM
1 mom liked this

Basically my only rules are when they do have friends over is to keep it down to a dull roar and respect my property. 

We have had a few parties, halloween and birthdays and I thought all the kids had a great time.  We never had to get on to any of them for anything and most of the time when they did get really loud they were outside so nothing was said.



Quoting Lorik1969:

It would help to know what some of the rules are that you have. Is it possible that the rules worked when they were younger but haven't adapted as they've grown, and that's why you don't have many kids hanging out anymore?



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