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Advice Needed: My 15 year old was recieving pic of hr boyfriend...

Posted by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 9:22 AM
  • 21 Replies
My 15 year old was recieving pic of hr boyfriend nude I broke them up now she tells me I cant controll her love life, it just breaks my heart I dont know how to take care of this, she is my Baby I have 2 older Children that is married but my younger one is going through this she now wants her permit I told her no not now tha I was in control am I wrong I dont know she is a well liked person I dont know what happen please help
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 9:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Mar. 29, 2013 at 9:29 AM
1 mom liked this
Take her phone. You probably can't break them up. Talk to his parents too.
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KristenLystly
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 9:33 AM
And illegal. How old old is the boy? At a minimum you have a duty to alert the parents.

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corgiesX2
by Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 9:59 AM

Take her phone away. Check her facebook account if she has one.  

You need to put your foot down!  Good for you to be on top of it before it has gotten too far.  

She will not understand your reasoning but remember that what your doing is for her own good.

I would also let the parents of boyfriend know what is happening.  Hopefully they will agree with you and support you so you can work together.

Good luck!




amonkeymom
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 3:53 PM
3 moms liked this

I'd remind her that until she is 18 you ARE in charge of her love life.  I'd also remind her, if her boyfriend is also underage, that she can be jailed for possession of child porn (or if she's sending him pics of her as well, that she can be charged for distributing child porn) and that you are doing this to protect her.  Then, I'd take away her phone, or change her plan so that she cannot receive or send text messages from this point forward.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Mar. 30, 2013 at 4:01 PM

 First of all, how old is this boyfriend?  Was his parents contacted by the nude photo?  I would have done that first.  Then I would have blocked his number from her phone.  I don't know how you can do it with your provider but I know with Tmobile it's pretty easy. 

I would have taken away her phone, yes I would have not taken her to get her permit, and I would have grounded her ONLY if I FOUND it on there and she did not tell me about it before I found it. 

TranquilMind
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 5:59 PM

You can't control her life, but you sure as heck can control her phone.  You are liable if she is transmitting or receiving porn -and that's what it is, if anyone is naked!

TranquilMind
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 6:00 PM

 Yes, you absolutely need to let his parents know.


Quoting KristenLystly:

And illegal. How old old is the boy? At a minimum you have a duty to alert the parents.


 

daisykat
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 7:46 PM
1 mom liked this
WRONG you can control her love life. Until she's 18, you own the air she breathes. From now on she goes to school and home, you will be dropping her off and picking her up. You will also be calling the school periodically during the day to make sure she's nice and safe in class. There will be locks put on her bedroom windows and her bedroom door. If she leaves the house, it will be with a trusted adult chaperone. This is how it should be until she proves herself worthy of priviledges. Even popular kids get grounded, so tell her tough when she starts whining. If she runs away, you will call the police and every kid she knows along with their parents to be on the lookout for her. Make sure she doesn't have a bunch of cash at her disposal. Maybe I'm occasionally a prison guard for a mom, but it's worked for me, anyway. And definitely, that boy's parents need to know. Unless he's 18 or older, then the police need to know.

That's what I would do if my kid told me I couldn't control her love life. And I would laugh heartily.
daisykat
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 7:47 PM
Oh, and of course no phone or internet for awhile. That's the least that needs to be done.
MamaSnaps
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 7:53 PM
2 moms liked this

You need to explain the dangers in this and what it leads to. More so how it pertains to her sending something in return. What if the boyfriend got mad at her and posted that picture for all of the world to see? She would never live that down in her entire high school career. I know a girl who did something totally stupid like that. STILL to this day, when people mention her it's always "isn't that the girl who gave ___ those nude pictures in 9th grade?" High school was HELL for her.

That doesn't even touch on to the other dangers that come from it. 
The first instinct is to be livid and to tell her "OH HELL NO!" You've done the right thing there. But now you have to make her understand WHY that is an "oh hell no" thing. If you need more help on the dangers of teens and nude photos of themselves google it. I am sure there is a ton of help out there for you.  

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