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Handlng Depression?

Posted by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 4:16 PM
  • 18 Replies

 My hubby things I might be depressed.  Said that I handle it by absorbing myself in other things, such as fix it up projects, cooking, cleaning, or creating.  Said it's not healthy to handle it this way.  My thoughts are, if I was depressed wouldn't I want to do something rather than sit here feeling bad for myself?

by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 4:16 PM
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MamaSnaps
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 4:20 PM

I am a little confused by your post. Your husband says you handle depression by getting busy, but then you sound like you aren't keeping busy but sitting there feeling bad for yourself? I *think* you meant to say if you were depressed wouldn't you want to feel bad for yourself instead of being busy? 

Why does he think your depressed? Just because you keep busy with projects or is there a reason? 

wakymom
by Silver Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 4:49 PM
1 mom liked this

Depression can show in different ways for different people. I highly suspect my mom suffers from mild depression, and she is, as I call it, a compulsive straightener. She tends to do more little house cleaning things than normal when she seems to be, imo, more down. 

I, on the other hand, fall into the "sit and do nothing" catagory. I have mild depression and it seems to cycle- I have times when I know I'm just being lazy and others when I know I'm down. I have to make a HUGE effort to get anything done around the house when in those more down times. About the only thing I don't struggle to do is washing/drying the laundry b/c I can sit on my butt while the machines are going and still feel like I've down something productive. I also tend to feel like crap when I have to leave the house to go anywhere, even things I want to do and enjoy once I'm there.

It never hurts to discuss it w/ your dr. 






fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Apr. 2, 2013 at 5:21 PM

 Ok, I was confusing I guess.  I've been pretty stressed out lately with a lot going on.  When it rains it pours.  Started with 1 teen becoming unruly, then funerals, then bad news at the doctor's offfice, then another kid unruly, then husband's doctor wanting him to come in to "discuss" lab results, then another doctor's appointment, then birthdays coming up, one this week, one two weeks later, and the last two weeks after that.  It is so busy here that I haven't had the time to process, so at night, I am very quiet lately.  He think's I'm depressed because of all the stressors going on right now. 

When I called him up today and told him all about the stuff I bought to fix things up (refinishing the lawn furniture, fixing the deck, building a new boarder along the garden, etc.) he told me he wasn't surprised, this was my way of dealing with depression.

My thought was, if I was depressed, wouldn't I be mopey?  Or moody?  Why would I be doing all of this stuff? 

Quoting MamaSnaps:

I am a little confused by your post. Your husband says you handle depression by getting busy, but then you sound like you aren't keeping busy but sitting there feeling bad for yourself? I *think* you meant to say if you were depressed wouldn't you want to feel bad for yourself instead of being busy? 

Why does he think your depressed? Just because you keep busy with projects or is there a reason? 

 

MamaSnaps
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 5:35 PM

No, depression isn't always dopey, moody and down. There are many different forms of depression. Often times people don't realize they are depressed because they think it's exactly what you are thinking. 

I wouldn't guess you to be drepressed. I'd guess stressed and you have found good outlets for that stress. BUT... I am guessing from only what little bit we see here, so... Your husband may have a better view than we do. 

If he's concerned? make an appointment to see your doctor and talk about it. It's never a waste of time to be extra cautious.

 Honestly? I'd say that even if you are somewhat depressed you have an excellent way of dealing with it and I wouldn't be worried about you like someone who keeps it in and allows themselves to get mopey. 

Lorik1969
by Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 5:39 PM
Wow, except for the mom part I could have written this!


Quoting wakymom:

Depression can show in different ways for different people. I highly suspect my mom suffers from mild depression, and she is, as I call it, a compulsive straightener. She tends to do more little house cleaning things than normal when she seems to be, imo, more down. 

I, on the other hand, fall into the "sit and do nothing" catagory. I have mild depression and it seems to cycle- I have times when I know I'm just being lazy and others when I know I'm down. I have to make a HUGE effort to get anything done around the house when in those more down times. About the only thing I don't struggle to do is washing/drying the laundry b/c I can sit on my butt while the machines are going and still feel like I've down something productive. I also tend to feel like crap when I have to leave the house to go anywhere, even things I want to do and enjoy once I'm there.

It never hurts to discuss it w/ your dr. 







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MrsBLB
by Missi on Apr. 2, 2013 at 5:58 PM

I would be overwhelmed with all that going on.  Taking time to let it all sink in is a good thing.  If it were me, I would do one project at a time, as I felt up to it.  Please take care, ((hugs))

Lorik1969
by Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 6:01 PM
It can't hurt to see a doctor. Sometimes you are the last to know because others can see the changes more clearly than you can. I've battled depression and anxiety almost my whole life so I can see it coming but it took a long time for that to happen.
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fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Apr. 2, 2013 at 6:51 PM

 I understand about seeing a doctor.  Problem is, my regular doctor isn't back until the middle of April MAYBE.  They won't even let me make an appointment for him until he's officially back.  No idea what happened to him, but he's been gone since before Thanksgiving.

Before you run off and tell me I need to find a new doctor, there's something you need to know. When I go to a new doctor, my anxiety is so high and stress is killing me that I am physically ill usually a week before I go up until the time I go home.  Once I am home, I tend to sleep, quite a bit.  Case in point, went to a doctor yesterday.  By the time I got home I was in a full blown panic attack and ended up sleeping all day long.  It was hell. 

I don't typically leave the house because of this issue, this is why I don't work.  It got progressively worse as I grew up and when my grandmother died it went full blown.  I am being told that my grandmother was my "anchor" and now I am just floating adrift.  That makes you feel good doesn't it?

Quoting Lorik1969:

It can't hurt to see a doctor. Sometimes you are the last to know because others can see the changes more clearly than you can. I've battled depression and anxiety almost my whole life so I can see it coming but it took a long time for that to happen.

 

Lorik1969
by Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 7:18 PM
I would try a shrink instead of an MD, unless the Doc who is unavailable is a shrink. Being told you're "floating adrift" doesn't sound like a very good diagnosis! I've had panic attacks since I was a kid so I feel for you. The last few months I've also had attacks when leaving the house. Xanax helps.


Quoting fantasticfour:

 I understand about seeing a doctor.  Problem is, my regular doctor isn't back until the middle of April MAYBE.  They won't even let me make an appointment for him until he's officially back.  No idea what happened to him, but he's been gone since before Thanksgiving.


Before you run off and tell me I need to find a new doctor, there's something you need to know. When I go to a new doctor, my anxiety is so high and stress is killing me that I am physically ill usually a week before I go up until the time I go home.  Once I am home, I tend to sleep, quite a bit.  Case in point, went to a doctor yesterday.  By the time I got home I was in a full blown panic attack and ended up sleeping all day long.  It was hell. 


I don't typically leave the house because of this issue, this is why I don't work.  It got progressively worse as I grew up and when my grandmother died it went full blown.  I am being told that my grandmother was my "anchor" and now I am just floating adrift.  That makes you feel good doesn't it?


Quoting Lorik1969:

It can't hurt to see a doctor. Sometimes you are the last to know because others can see the changes more clearly than you can. I've battled depression and anxiety almost my whole life so I can see it coming but it took a long time for that to happen.

 


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fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Apr. 2, 2013 at 10:17 PM

 Ok, I used to see the shrink.  He's the one who told me about floating adrift.  It makes sense to me, if not to you.  As far as medication, I'm on medication.  My diagnosis is a bit more than simple anxiety.  I live with anxiety, it's the attacks that occur whenever I have to go somewhere that's the problem.  None of the doctors have found a cure for it and it gets worse as time goes by.

Quoting Lorik1969:

I would try a shrink instead of an MD, unless the Doc who is unavailable is a shrink. Being told you're "floating adrift" doesn't sound like a very good diagnosis! I've had panic attacks since I was a kid so I feel for you. The last few months I've also had attacks when leaving the house. Xanax helps.


Quoting fantasticfour:

 I understand about seeing a doctor.  Problem is, my regular doctor isn't back until the middle of April MAYBE.  They won't even let me make an appointment for him until he's officially back.  No idea what happened to him, but he's been gone since before Thanksgiving.


Before you run off and tell me I need to find a new doctor, there's something you need to know. When I go to a new doctor, my anxiety is so high and stress is killing me that I am physically ill usually a week before I go up until the time I go home.  Once I am home, I tend to sleep, quite a bit.  Case in point, went to a doctor yesterday.  By the time I got home I was in a full blown panic attack and ended up sleeping all day long.  It was hell. 


I don't typically leave the house because of this issue, this is why I don't work.  It got progressively worse as I grew up and when my grandmother died it went full blown.  I am being told that my grandmother was my "anchor" and now I am just floating adrift.  That makes you feel good doesn't it?


Quoting Lorik1969:

It can't hurt to see a doctor. Sometimes you are the last to know because others can see the changes more clearly than you can. I've battled depression and anxiety almost my whole life so I can see it coming but it took a long time for that to happen.

 


 

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