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anyone else feel like being a mom is emotionally painful at times?

Posted by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 8:55 PM
  • 16 Replies
I have a 16 year old boy, a seven year old girl and a 6 month old baby boy.Dh is in the military and he's away right now.My closest family is 6 hours away. just feeling a little overwelmed. What I mean by emotionally painful though is mainly to do with my teen. one day i was everything to him. now he seems he could care less about any of us.i feel like i lost my little boy and even the bigger boy he has grown into. i can't tell you the last time i've been able to just simply hug him.he won't let me. he just smarted off at me a few hours ago. i worry about him because other issues we've been worried about(long story short). the seven year old still thinking the world revolves around her wants to stomp off because she's bored and mom want play (I wasn't able to, the little one was being a cranky booty,lol) I know she's only seven. She gets lonely sometimes but I am only one person. what can i do? Still I worry about her not getting enough attention from me at times. on top of that i've been feeling a little bit down the past couple days anyway. lonely as all get out and feel theres not much i can do to change that right now.i find myself asking, why did i do this to myself?
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 8:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Carmel63
by Bronze Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:04 PM

I do understand.  I am lucky to always have family near me, but in my town are a large number of families that are here due to executive transfers, and have no family.  I see them struggle.  In the years I was dealing with my son's developmental delays my father was who kept me sane.  He is still my extra set of hands.

 I have no advise about your son, but agree it would likely be helpful if you had more family around.

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:51 PM
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 (((Hugs))) do you have any friends around that are supportive? I have moved twice away from family and friends and my friends have become my family and my support. Hang in there, sounds like you are doing the best you can.

JTROX
by Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:53 PM
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Being a mom to a teenager is definitely painful.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Apr. 2, 2013 at 10:51 PM

Absolutely!   Parenting is tough, anyway you slice it.   You have your hands full, dealing with a teen, a child and a baby all at once....especially with your DH gone.     Is there anyone whom you trust to watch your younger children for a few hours?   Maybe if your teen and you spent some quality time together, you would both feel better?




gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Motherhood is lots of frustration, challenges and angst, punctuated by occasional flashes of brilliant bliss.

christina259
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:48 PM

 

Quoting gdiamante:

Motherhood is lots of frustration, challenges and angst, punctuated by occasional flashes of brilliant bliss.

 Thats so true. It can be an emotional roller coaster of sorts. Sometimes i see my little 6 month old boy smile and coo at me and it melts my heart. Or watching my seven year old daughter immersed in her imaginary world playing not realizing I'm watching her. And even that moody teen of mine sometimes does something sweet in between the craziness called teen years.Then other times i dream of running away,lol. I never would run away. I love them too much to do that but sometimes I wish i could leave them with grandma or even dad and run away for just a day or even a few hours but suppose that option is not in the cards for me at the moment.

gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:53 PM
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You know, back in the 1970s Ann Landers ran an unscientific survey in her advice column, asking people if they'd have kids if they had to do it all over again. And the majority said no!

Parenthood has ever been a situation of, "What the heck was I thinking?" alternating with, "I wouldn't trade this for anything!"

christina259
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 12:52 AM

 

Quoting gdiamante:

You know, back in the 1970s Ann Landers ran an unscientific survey in her advice column, asking people if they'd have kids if they had to do it all over again. And the majority said no!

Parenthood has ever been a situation of, "What the heck was I thinking?" alternating with, "I wouldn't trade this for anything!"

 yep, so true. i was feeling guilty about the what the heck was i thinking part. Having a teen now i see what i'm in for with the other two. maybe not definitely. They could surprise me and be great teens ,maybe, but i find myself wondering is this little baby I'm so in love with going to shun me one day like my oldest is right now. he's going to move on and break my heart. Even though he seems so darn sweet right now, is he going to shoot off some rude remark that makes me think where did i fail in parenting him even though i've given  him my all. I know on some level thats a bit childish and irrational of me but i guess with my first i was in mommy heaven and my world revolved around him . With my second and third I'm making sure i get some me time in. not because i think they are any less special and i love them both so much but because i'm sick of feeling used up just so no one can notice even if they are my kids. i suppose i'm feeling a bit burned out. that don't help.  i feel like its not fair to my other two. With my oldest son, he was signed up in sports and i went on every one of his school field trips, volunteered at his school and so on. tell me later on that he didn't really care if i went to those things or not,he had huge birthday parties which in hind sight were way to stressful on us parents. it seems all that extra was done for nothing. He has no interest in sports, don't seem to care that i was always there for him and so on. With the other two i find myself thinking ,do i have to go on this field trip with her. will it really matter to her.?With the baby, does it matter if i make sure i chatter with him all day and be upbeat for him. i just find myself wanting to take things easy anymore.a part of me feels selfish for feeling that way but i also feel its going to save my sanity,lol. i had these kids to far apart. rather than getting this phase of my life over all at once. i've stretched it out to 3 times as long (3 times more years of raising kids.) what was i thinking? I'll be 56 when this baby is 18. i'll probably be a grandma before i'm done being a mama. ugh. 

gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 12:57 AM

I personally believe becoming a grandparent should be illegal until one is at least 65. And I've told my son that. So he's got 15 years before he's allowed to make me a grandmother!

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 1:02 AM
It's tough momma, the teen will grow up, the seven year old will survive and so will the baby.

Try to find family activities, I know that can be hard because of the ages, but it is possible.
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