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17 year old daughter is pregnant

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That is why I am here.  I am so sacred for her.  She is so smart, a junior in high school, just made an 1798 on her SAT, picked out a college to attend next fall and now this!! I put her on the pill almost a year ago.  Her boyfriend is 2 years older, I am not stupid, I knew she would have sex that is why I protected her and begged for him to protected himself.  Someone tell me it will be ok.  I am supporting her in her decision but how do I get her to understand this is a life time journey!! Her father and I are in shock, never thought this would be our little princess!!

by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:41 PM
Replies (11-20):
Lorik1969
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 10:49 PM
1 mom liked this
I was 17 when my first was born. It's not easy but I was lucky to have parents who stood by me. She can still go to college. I would recommend pushing this. I made all kinds of excuses as to why I couldn't go and I've always regretted it. Help much as you can. It will work out in the end.
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bizzeemom2717
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 2:19 AM
She has you to stand by her side and the baby's thank goodness. I agree with the pp that said life happens when we are busy making other plans. Hugs and hang in there you guys are on the right track and it sounds like she is a smart girl. A baby is a blessing no matter what, I can guarentee you will be crying tears of JOY when you hold your Grandbaby for the first time Mama, I promise
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PurpleHazey
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 8:37 AM

It will be ok, she is young but at this point at 17 she will need your help. My daughter was 19 when she had her first and now she has 4 at 28 and she will be buying her first house(nice one at that) Amber is a great mom and her hubby provides very well for them. Hang in there everything will work out for the best.

PurpleHazey
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 8:37 AM



Quoting bizzeemom2717:

She has you to stand by her side and the baby's thank goodness. I agree with the pp that said life happens when we are busy making other plans. Hugs and hang in there you guys are on the right track and it sounds like she is a smart girl. A baby is a blessing no matter what, I can guarentee you will be crying tears of JOY when you hold your Grandbaby for the first time Mama, I promise

You have said it well!


Sadintucson
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:38 PM

 My 17 year old is also pregnant and I am having a really hard time with it. She wants to keep it but I am struggling with that. She was seeing a MAN behind my back, so I had to deal with the fact she lied to me for a year as well as the fact that she was pregnant by him. She will be 18 in July and he will be 22 in October. I wan to file charges against him but I am scared to death that it will only alienate her and push her to him. I don't know how to get a grip on that fact that she is throwing everything away. I know I should support her, but I don't know how. I see the freight train coming and I, her mom who is supposed to protect her, can't get her off of the tracks. It is killing me. And her father is so angry with her that he is no help to me. He is going through his own hell. Everybody says support her, but on the other hand she made her bed, and needs to realize how hard that bed is. I don't know what to do. I'm scared I won't be able to acdept it. 

Madisonjosmom
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 1:31 PM
Sadintucson-that is ever emotion that I am feeling. Just when I think everything will be ok, I think about all the things she will miss by being forced to "lay in the bed she made". I cry at random things because my heart is aching at everything she will be going through. The family members comments, comments her peers will make on "ruining her lfe". I could press charges also, he is 19 and she just turned 17, but what would that accomplish? It would make me feel better for a few moments but it takes two to tango. I am embracing the babies father because I feel if I don't he might make it difficult to see my grandchild who is an 11 weeks and 4 days old fetus!!! I am choosing to stand by my daugter, come hell or high water and I am praying that in the end, I am making the best decision for everyone involved. Our rules have not changed, home by 11am, school work before hanging out with friends, she is still doing her chores and than some. My husband FINAL said this morning, we will be alright!
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21lisa72
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 2:48 PM

 Well number one as hard as it is be there for her, dont be one of thoose moms that turn her away.  She has a long hard journey  ahead.  Is there anyway she could accelerate hs and maybe start local college before she gives birth?  Obviously her school changes are going to have to change so be supportive of that, I am sure that is upsetting to her, even if she has to take night classes with you helpng her watch the baby do all you can to help her and push her through school.   We never know how long the boy is going to be hopefully he will be there for her but you never know age wise etc.  I would definateley have a sit down with your daughter, the boyfriend and his parents because some financial arrangements need to be made and if he cant or wont beable to do it his parents should they are responsible till he is 21 (I would talk to an attorney about this), as time goes by and you see how committed this boy is going to be to your daughter and the baby get advice on what should be done re the babies last name, I know I probably sound nuts but sometimes I see these boys that are all for it make promises than the baby comes and they slowly split.  I pray thats not the way for her, just help her the best you can, be there to wipe her tears and try your best to find away so she can live out her college degree be it at a schoool that may not have been her choice-its welcome to motherhood giving up our needs for our childrens.  God bless her and her babies health and give you stregnth as well!

atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 6, 2013 at 3:12 PM
Sad but you are right. Most baby daddies of teen mom's do split at some point.


Quoting 21lisa72:

 Well number one as hard as it is be there for her, dont be one of thoose moms that turn her away.  She has a long hard journey  ahead.  Is there anyway she could accelerate hs and maybe start local college before she gives birth?  Obviously her school changes are going to have to change so be supportive of that, I am sure that is upsetting to her, even if she has to take night classes with you helpng her watch the baby do all you can to help her and push her through school.   We never know how long the boy is going to be hopefully he will be there for her but you never know age wise etc.  I would definateley have a sit down with your daughter, the boyfriend and his parents because some financial arrangements need to be made and if he cant or wont beable to do it his parents should they are responsible till he is 21 (I would talk to an attorney about this), as time goes by and you see how committed this boy is going to be to your daughter and the baby get advice on what should be done re the babies last name, I know I probably sound nuts but sometimes I see these boys that are all for it make promises than the baby comes and they slowly split.  I pray thats not the way for her, just help her the best you can, be there to wipe her tears and try your best to find away so she can live out her college degree be it at a schoool that may not have been her choice-its welcome to motherhood giving up our needs for our childrens.  God bless her and her babies health and give you stregnth as well!


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drfink
by Emily on Apr. 6, 2013 at 3:28 PM


Quoting Madisonjosmom:

Sadintucson-that is ever emotion that I am feeling. Just when I think everything will be ok, I think about all the things she will miss by being forced to "lay in the bed she made". I cry at random things because my heart is aching at everything she will be going through. The family members comments, comments her peers will make on "ruining her lfe". I could press charges also, he is 19 and she just turned 17, but what would that accomplish? It would make me feel better for a few moments but it takes two to tango. I am embracing the babies father because I feel if I don't he might make it difficult to see my grandchild who is an 11 weeks and 4 days old fetus!!! I am choosing to stand by my daugter, come hell or high water and I am praying that in the end, I am making the best decision for everyone involved. Our rules have not changed, home by 11am, school work before hanging out with friends, she is still doing her chores and than some. My husband FINAL said this morning, we will be alright!

She is a lucky girl to have yall as parents.I know this is not what your hopes and dreams for her were in any way but with all of you pulling together things can still be ok.She sounds like a pretty responsible kid so with effort and support she can still attend college.

I was 19 and in college and doing quite well when I became pregnant by my long term bfriend.When I told my mother at 3 months ...I knew she would all but literally kill me I was locked up in a religious maternity home in less than 72 hours.Everyone ignored I was an adult and threatened to track me and have my baby removed for being homeless if I broke out.My family and the fathers family were very worried what their friends at our country club would say sooo...anyway it will be harder than originally planned for all of you no doubt but for 36 years I have thought about him and missed him every single day.So ignore the relatives ,help and teach her to be the kind of parent you are.She is a lucky girl.

drfink
by Emily on Apr. 6, 2013 at 3:29 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting luckysevenwow:

So long as you stand by her side she can accomplish anything. Honestly this isn't the end of the world, it's a hiccup in life. It happens at any age and can be anything really.

Be her mom, support her, and she will go far. 

100 % agree

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