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17 year old daughter is pregnant

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That is why I am here.  I am so sacred for her.  She is so smart, a junior in high school, just made an 1798 on her SAT, picked out a college to attend next fall and now this!! I put her on the pill almost a year ago.  Her boyfriend is 2 years older, I am not stupid, I knew she would have sex that is why I protected her and begged for him to protected himself.  Someone tell me it will be ok.  I am supporting her in her decision but how do I get her to understand this is a life time journey!! Her father and I are in shock, never thought this would be our little princess!!

by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:41 PM
Replies (31-37):
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:20 PM
I met him once when she first wanted to date him and I wasn't a big fan. I found out he was coached in HS by somebody I know from work who said if it were his daughter there Is no way he would let her see him. She was 16 and he was 20 at the time so I told her no way. I ended up finding them out together one day las May and stated my argument again and forbid them to see each other. I was very vigilant (or so I thought) checking up on her. I checked phone records constantly, showed up where she said she would be, tracked her phone every time she was out. I thought I had handled it. I was wrong. She is still with him and says she loves him. We all know the chances of him sticking around are slim. So she , like most teen moms, will be left holding the bag, diaper bag. I just don't know when people say support her what that means. I can't act like I'm ok with her decision. I am sure not ready to be around the father. I don't know how to be involved with this decision when I'm so frustrated about her choices. I don't know.
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:31 PM
Sounds like our girls are in the same stages of their pregnancy but you are MUCH further than I am at this time. I do cry randomly as well. I can hear her footsteps upstairs and start crying, babies on tv, pregnant women, etc. I don't know, I'm trying, but this has to be the hardest thing so far that I've been through with my children. I know there are far worse things that moms go through, I understand that, and I'm thankful she's healthy, but wow, this is crazy.
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 2:23 PM
You and your husband will do fine!! I was a 16 year old teen mom and my mom kicked me out I did everything on my own (apt, HS Futine and work)) I wish I has the support of my family... Just remember 1 thing don't tell her what to do (she's a mom now) just try to guide in her in the right direction and support her decision whether you like it or not ... This is the best thing you can do for your daughter ... Also always include the boyfriend and his family whether you like them or not treat them like adults and help guide them ... As much as they say they don't want it , remember although they have a child they are still TEENS!! They especially your daughter will always Appreciate and respect rhe fact that you and your husband were and are always there!! Best of luck!! Ps I'm speaking as a once teen mom that had to do everything on my own with NO support from ANYONE!!! Now Ian 35 with an18 yr old and a 9 yr old with my own home and a degree in nursing...
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by Bronze Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 4:05 PM

I disagree allow her to be a kid now as much as possible because when the baby comes she won't be able to anymore.  You don't want her to resent the baby.  Yes to a job and keeping grades up of course.  There is also no reason she can't be a mom and go to college.  Mom's do it all the time.

Quoting jojo_star:

What is her choice? If she wants to have the baby, be honest. Don't sugar coat it or spare her feelings, make sure she knows that she is messing up her life, and the baby's. Sure, some teens can do it, and make a good life, but most don't. She has her whole life ahead of her to have kids, and right now, she can't afford one. And not only will she suffer, but so will the baby. Support her, of course, and be there for her, but be honest. Get her to baby sit as many kids as possible, make her taking prenatal and parenting classes, make her start being a mother now, no more going out late, no partying, no after school activies. Have her get a job, and keep her grades up, don't baby her just because she is pregnant. Good luck!

by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:59 PM
Tonight while my dd was cleaning her room, because I told her to (reason 102 why I question if she is ready to be a mom) I sat on her bed and just talked to her. Talked to her and really listened with out commenting on what she said. I asked her how she was feeling, she has been throwing up a lot, she said today was a good day. In the middle of our conversation about her 3 options still, adoption, abortion, and having the baby, she said something to me that I found very mature for being just 17, she said "having an abortion does mean I am not a mom, I became a home when the doctor did a ultrasound and showed me the heartbeat, it just means I am a mom to a dead baby and I will think of that child everyday". That was my reality check for today. She just left to a study group for an hour. When she left I went back into her room and sat on her bed and cried. My little princess is becoming a mom.
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by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 10:54 PM

She's a smart girl, and that is why girls should have a say, they live with the consequences a lot more then we do. Not saying there won't be consequences for you or the family as a whole, but babies really aren't the end of the world. I can think of many other things that are far worse compared to a pregnant teen.

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:19 AM
I had my first kid when I was 18 .I had support from my family I kept my kid. Yes my family did say it will be hard but I did it. And she is lucky you are supporting her.
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