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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

14 year old daughter is expelled from 8th grade

Posted by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:38 AM
  • 13 Replies

I'm beside myself, divorced 6 years now with 2 kids boy 16 and girl 14.  The boy is great clean cut and never trouble.  The girl has been nothing but trouble for 18 months now.  Every time I discipline the daughter thinks she can call the police every time and make up stories.  She learned this from the ex husband, who has called the police on me for something as little as me crying in my bed.  He still threatens to call the police because I want to tkae the cell phone away from my daughter, REALLY?  The ex refuses to have any custody and is so dillusional he actually thinks that because he has no custody, by choice, that he doesn't have to be responsible.  He lets our daughter get away with everything and NEVER EVER desciplines.  Now the girl is ruined, she won't be graduation from 8th grade and will not be going to this great high school and getting a good education. 


bummed


by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Lorriane
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:51 AM

He needs to then deal with her full time. May be he will see that he has screwed up where she is concerned. 

PurpleHazey
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 2:07 PM

I am a bit confused is this over your daughter being expelled or over the ex calling the police on you? What was she expelled for?

21lisa72
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 2:50 PM
Why was she expelled? Can't they offer her alternate education until school start and she starts fresh? I don't understand unless she violently hurt someone. Is there a possibility that you could have her finish her home school for the rest of the year and than go to high school in the fall? How can they deney her all those years of education? First I could call the board of education and ask to speak to the student advocate. Do they have in school suspension? Why could she not spend some time in there so she could serve her time and get her work finished its so closed to the end of the year. I am not making excuse for her because I don't know what she did But my 13 yo son 6 th grade still in elementary school he was getting bullied and they really did nothing but move his seat so one day after school the kid grabbed my son by the head so my son being a hockey player so my son fought back punched the kid and wailed on him. They both got three day suspension which upset my son he does have ADHD and when provoked will defend himself and since the situation praise God he has been left alone.
I hope you can find away to make things better. I remember 13-15 being the worst years of my life I was left to take care of my sisters all the time because my dad died when I was 10. Also she may not like it because my son doesn't really like it but we go to family counceling. It has helped us as parents to give him freedom come up with consistent rules and we are both on the same page and consistent with our discipline he has been better because he knows we are serious and he hates having things taken away. In return he got to choose something he wanted to change with us in return so everynight we either watch a show of his choice all together or play a game ( thank god he still wants to do this with us so I will take what I can get! But if you haven't try it it doesn't hurt to try plus they have resources that can help you deal with the school.
Hugs Mama
Maryah02
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 12:00 AM



I'm so sorry for what you are going through.  My daughter now 14.5, a Freshman, is about to be expelled.  Two years ago she was an angel.  I just went to visit her in juvenile hall, she was finally sent there by the courts.  The visit started off o.k. then went South.  Everyone says "counseling and therapy is the answer"  I'm open to it of course.  Oh, and the antidepressant I started taking is truly a lifesaver.  Take care of yourself and don't give up on her.


Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 12:23 AM
Definitely more info needed.

Therapy, Discipline and consequences are the answer. A therapist can provide insight when false accusations are made and cam back you up as the main parents.

The cell phone and all other electronics would be gone. These can be earmed, say 1-2 hours a day by her living up to your rules and expectations.

She would lose everything in her room except the bed. Clothes wpuld be given to her daily, picked out by you. She could earn the right to choose her clothes or to earn things back by doi g chores and getting acceptable grades.

I would cut all contact with dad unless it is court ordered. If you have full custody, you get to decide when and where.

I also require my kids to do something useful. It can be volunteering somewhere (after school program,animal shelter, homeless shelter, etc.), participating in teen court or scouting. If they are busy, they aren't out causing trouble.
Lorelai_Nicole
by Lorelai on Nov. 11, 2013 at 12:36 AM

I agree with all of this.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

Definitely more info needed.

Therapy, Discipline and consequences are the answer. A therapist can provide insight when false accusations are made and cam back you up as the main parents.

The cell phone and all other electronics would be gone. These can be earmed, say 1-2 hours a day by her living up to your rules and expectations.

She would lose everything in her room except the bed. Clothes wpuld be given to her daily, picked out by you. She could earn the right to choose her clothes or to earn things back by doi g chores and getting acceptable grades.

I would cut all contact with dad unless it is court ordered. If you have full custody, you get to decide when and where.

I also require my kids to do something useful. It can be volunteering somewhere (after school program,animal shelter, homeless shelter, etc.), participating in teen court or scouting. If they are busy, they aren't out causing trouble.


Alexis Emma 10-13-1999 - 14 years old
Kirsten Leslie 03-14-2004 - 9 years old
Sarah Mackenzie 08-14-2007 - 5 years old
Charlotte Amelia & Harmon David 04-12-2012 - 18 months old
Angela Victoria 06-09-1996 - 17 years old (niece) 

liltaz1024
by on Nov. 17, 2013 at 7:49 AM
My oldest son is 15 we have been in alot of counseling,juvenille center and even jail nothing has worked but we do know the issue he got into drugs i will always be here for him just dont ever give up


Quoting Maryah02:



I'm so sorry for what you are going through.  My daughter now 14.5, a Freshman, is about to be expelled.  Two years ago she was an angel.  I just went to visit her in juvenile hall, she was finally sent there by the courts.  The visit started off o.k. then went South.  Everyone says "counseling and therapy is the answer"  I'm open to it of course.  Oh, and the antidepressant I started taking is truly a lifesaver.  Take care of yourself and don't give up on her.



jenny3344
by on Nov. 17, 2013 at 7:56 AM
Why was she expelled?
Barabell
by Barbara on Nov. 17, 2013 at 12:33 PM

I agree with this.

In addition, if she is threatening to call the police and you're giving in before she's doing anything, then you're being manipulated with her. What are the police going to do if she calls and doesn't have a valid claim? Nothing. If they're anything like here, they'll stop listening to her phone calls because they know she's crying wolf. Also, if you take her cellphone away like Jinx suggests below, then how is she going to call the police without you knowing about it? 

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

Definitely more info needed.

Therapy, Discipline and consequences are the answer. A therapist can provide insight when false accusations are made and cam back you up as the main parents.

The cell phone and all other electronics would be gone. These can be earmed, say 1-2 hours a day by her living up to your rules and expectations.

She would lose everything in her room except the bed. Clothes wpuld be given to her daily, picked out by you. She could earn the right to choose her clothes or to earn things back by doi g chores and getting acceptable grades.

I would cut all contact with dad unless it is court ordered. If you have full custody, you get to decide when and where.

I also require my kids to do something useful. It can be volunteering somewhere (after school program,animal shelter, homeless shelter, etc.), participating in teen court or scouting. If they are busy, they aren't out causing trouble.


luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 2:48 PM
1 mom liked this
Why are you answering your own question as if you are someone else?

Quoting Maryah02:



I'm so sorry for what you are going through.  My daughter now 14.5, a Freshman, is about to be expelled.  Two years ago she was an angel.  I just went to visit her in juvenile hall, she was finally sent there by the courts.  The visit started off o.k. then went South.  Everyone says "counseling and therapy is the answer"  I'm open to it of course.  Oh, and the antidepressant I started taking is truly a lifesaver.  Take care of yourself and don't give up on her.


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