My 14 yr old daughter who a couple of months ago started playing this vampire game online and met some guys and started chatting with them outside of the game. I was ok with it at first cuz it's just a game right! Well then my older son told me she was chatting with some guy from TX, that they were txting said to be 15.. I didn't really think anything bad about it and told her to be careful and not to be sharing any personal info. She said she was being safe about it. It turned out he has a gf and she stopped chatting with him. Then about a month ago she gave her cell number to another guy, I started noticing her act a bit different and being very suspicious. Every night I'd go into her room to check on her and say good night and to tell her no txting/FB. She would be covered completely with her blanket and act nervous. This made me think and was wondering if she was doing what I thought she was doing.... She would hinde her cell from me and not let me see it and if I'd ask for it she would say wait and then give it to me, but by then she had already erased what ever was on there. Then last week when we were at the amusement park, I noticed she kept on txting and had this smirk on her face. I asked her who she was txting and she mention one of her friends, not guy. But I've been having this weird feeling that something was going on, more than I could imagine. When we got home she went strait to the bathroom so I went to her room and saw her cell phone on her bed. At the time I took it a txt was coming in and saw what was going on. I read the txts that were on there and the one that had just came in and noticed she was sexting this guy. At first I got mixed emotions and was shocked, didn't know what to think or do about the whole situation. I said Oh God, what should I do?!
I felt bad and put the phone back on her bed because I felt like I was violating her privacy and went into the living room and continued to think about it. Then I went back in the room and read the txts again and got mad, but still unsure of what to do. So I put the phone back again. I did that like 3-4 times, till something told me to just take it and keep it. Then when she came out of the bathroom she went strait to her room and came out frantic asking if I knew where her phone was. I took a deep breath and asked her to sit down.
I then started talking to her and asking her who this guy was. She didn't say anything the whole 1hr I spent talking to her. She just sat there looking into my eyes. I told her I felt disappointed of her actions and that I couldn't believe what she was doing. I continue asking why? why? How could you do such a thing? The thing is that it's not just sexting, she has also sent pics and videos of herself to this stranger. I told her the seriousness of exposing herself like that and the risk involved in the whole thing. That she doesn't know if this guy won't put this pics/video on the net. That she really doesn't know this guy, just cuz he says he's her same age with the same interest. I told her lots of things and that she doesn't need anyone to tell her that she's beautiful and that's when I hit the sore spot. She's at that stage where she feels ugly. She started crying, but still wouldn't say anything. I then told her that her life is so much easier than when I was her age. That she has everything and doesn't need to worry about anything other than going to school and getting good grades.
I felt like I was getting nowhere and that I was torturing her. I told her I love her very much and that all I want is for her to be safe and to protect her. I took everything away from her (itouch, cell, lap top) and also told her she's not allowed to chat/txt to that guy anymore, hugged her tight and then told her to think about what she's done and the risks involved. She then went to her room and continued to cry.
I went to check on her about 1hr after the talk and she was crying still and then she handed me a letter telling me how she really feels. She thinks this guy's "The One" that she really likes him and that he really likes her and that maybe there's a future for them. She states that something that happened to one of her friends took her innocence away and that she likes to talk and to be spoken dirty. Oh dear Lord! She takes her friends experiences as something personal for her and I think she's taking that feeling/thoughts to far. I tell her that other people's experiences are not her problems and that she shouldn't take it like that or to try to solve it for them. She feels that people are living her life every 5 yrs and she says that now I'm taking him away from her too. I asked her dad to talk to her as a father but I don't think he made his point.
This whole week she hasn't really been talking to me and has been going with her dad to church. The only reason thou is because she has access to his phone and computer. I ask her dad if he's let her use the phone and he says sometime. I know that she's going to find ways to communicate with that guy anyway possible and that we have no control over it. But I feel like my husband's not really helping me either by giving her the phone to keep the txting up.
The reason this whole thing troubles me is because of the sexting/pics/videos. If this was just a "friendship" relationship, someone that wanted to get to know my daughter without asking her for pics of any kind, I'd probably be ok , with my supervicion. That way she wouldn't have to sneek around to talk to him. I hate all the sneeking/secrets going on and I don't know how to make her understand or how to get a handle on this situation.
Sorry for writing so much. But any advice is greatly appreciated.