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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Let our teens decide or force them to be involved?

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:51 PM
  • 33 Replies

My teen is 15 1/2 years old.  She really has lost all interest in extra curricular activities except soccer.  I am happy she is still involved with select and school soccer. But I would love to see her be involved with the youth group at church, get back to piano, and art classes as she is super talented.  She has no interest.  Do you force your kids to do additional activies or do you let them decide? A) its hard to force a teen to do things they dont want to do B) she may resent me forcing her to do things and fight it harder C) she may never want to return to those activities in the future if I force it now. I recognize we should respect our teens opinion as she is 2 1/2 years away from being an adult. Yet I also see she has a laziness factor.  Thoughts?

by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jojo_star
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:55 PM
1 mom liked this

We don't force our kids, in fact, I'd wish they were a bit less interested, but they are all 4 very involved in sports, school activites, and social groups and clubs. I wouldn't force them though, because if they don't want it, forcing them won't do any good for anyone. 

vlynn.iowa
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:02 PM
1 mom liked this

We require them to have at least 1 extra curricular activity, through the school or a club.  

chattycassie
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:26 PM

 I don't force my teen to be in any sports or clubs.. well any of my kids for that matter. I did bribe my teen once with a pair of Jordan's for trying out for the softball team. My teens only extra curricular right now is FB. When she gets into HS she will have more options for clubs not just sports. (In our k-8 only option is band or sports)

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:54 PM
1 mom liked this

We don't force our kids to do any extracurricular activities. If they chose to play a sport or join an activity that is fine. They also know that when they sign up for something they finish out the season/year~ whatever the time frame is.


fammatthews4
by Trisha on Apr. 8, 2013 at 4:25 PM
Same here

Quoting mumsy2three:

We don't force our kids to do any extracurricular activities. If they chose to play a sport or join an activity that is fine. They also know that when they sign up for something they finish out the season/year~ whatever the time frame is.


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atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 8, 2013 at 4:29 PM
Involved in something. Doesn't have to be 3 to 4 things.
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Barabell
by Barbara on Apr. 8, 2013 at 4:39 PM

I don't force my son, but he's easily motivated and has a lot of interests. So it's not really an issue that I've been concerned about.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 4:48 PM

I *force* them to do one sport and one social activity. 

They attend a homeschool based charter shool that rquires we track 15 hours (minimum) of PE per month. they don'ttend to go out and play much so I require them to do a sport with a minimum of 2 hours practive per week. Right now, my younger two dogymnastics,and the oldest does karate.

For social activities, they can choose one or more of Church youth group, Boy/Grl Scouts, Antlers (Youth program through the Elks lodge), volunteering somehwere, etc. If thy dont pick, I will choose something for them. Right now, both bots are doing Antlers and Boy Scouts. DD is enrolled in Girl Scouts but we have not ben able to find a leadr I can stand...LOL..so we work on things on our own. She also helps and attends at Antlers events even though she is too young so we call her our "mascot" lol

I wouldLOVE to see them do music lessons, and they each took some music for a while attheir request. . however, it became hell tryingto get them to practice so I madethem drop the lessons. If they wanted to try again, we would make it happen but they mustagree to practicing 30 min per day each week day. 

Jinx - Homeschooling, Scouting & Karate butt-kicking  Mom to Star Scout Ian 1/98, Scout Sean 9/00, Junior GS Heidi 4/03. Wife to Joe & Alpha to German Shepherd Spazz.

tyfry7496
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 7:27 PM
Same here.

Quoting mumsy2three:

We don't force our kids to do any extracurricular activities. If they chose to play a sport or join an activity that is fine. They also know that when they sign up for something they finish out the season/year~ whatever the time frame is.


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CampClan
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:46 PM
1 mom liked this

Let her decide. Are her grades good? Maybe she feels if she gets too involved her school work will start to fall behind? 

My DS is 17 & in soccer through school, the youth group & performing arts team at our church, plus 3 other youth groups/Bible studies with friends through the soccer team. He also works out 3 days a week. If I ever found out his grades were slipping or he felt that then we would definitely re-evaluate things & cut back. But until then I let him make the decisions with that.

I just read the laziness thing.... I can definitely say when my DS is not doing anything (a night that he has "off") then he is lazy but I also don't think anything of that because he has so much going on.

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