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Friends foul mouthed teen

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Over the summer my boys and I went w a friend and her kids to FL, I had rented a house for a week, the daughter went straight to the master bedroom wo checking if its ok, suddenly the sister and her daughter were in the area and could they come by for a night then it was two nights then the sister left and the daughter stayed, the entire time the friends daughter was such a rude indiv, always called her mom a b**** and other names, farting, arguing, actually punched the cousin, and wanting to shopall the time, she ruined the trip, but I also think the friend was selfish for not stopping the behavior, the daughter slammed the door a million times, and this behavior imposed on us, she wasn't like this before, we are no longer friends, neither of us have reached out to the other but it bothers since we were friends for such a long time but she's allowing her daughter to grow up, she's 18, into a barbarian and I'm wondering should I have shrugged it off?
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 4:17 AM
Replies (11-13):
by Kimberly on Apr. 9, 2013 at 11:45 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with the others, you should have called the daughter out on the carpet then and there.   You said you rented the house, did your friend pay for her families share?    Why did you allow the daughter the master bedrm?   If the Mother chooses to allow such behavior, that is her issue, but if it is infringing upon your family, it is then your issue, and your right to intervene.

It is stressful and sometimes awkward vacationing with friends....  I've done it.  One time, it damn near ruined our friendship....because the entire vacation revolved around their daughter.    

If you miss your friend, contact her.   You are not going to change the way she parents, so don't bother trying.     I have several friends whom I don't agree with their parenting methods, but they are not raising MY kids, so it doesn't matter.   I like them for who they are and enjoy spending time with them.

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:49 PM
Quoting drfink:

Why did you agree to the cousin staying ? We have a beach house and if a kid misbehaves several times and the parents do nothing I speak up loud and clear.We have had a couple of people find excuses to stay longer but as long as everyone is helpful and behaved I let it go .I did have a friend that invited a  kind of mutal friend to her beach house.The daughter was just flat out rude to everyone ,finally my friend said something. Our mutal friend got into a huff and packed up and left about 5 in the morning.My friend told me she could hear the mutal friend packing her car ,getting her daughter and leaving but she just stayed in bed and let her go.

The mutal friend has dropped huge hints to me about coming to my house...LOL aint gonna happen .I was there during the day ,saw her get mad because her rude 17 y.o. daughter was being corrected...not going to do that 

They are no longer close.It is sad but ok.Sometimes as time goes by some friends out grow or change so much friendships slow down.

to be nice since it was going to only be one night, you're right, no need to try to keep people like this in our lives, I do realize now we were on different paths with our children and lives
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:07 PM

 I would have told them it was rented for a certain # of people and they would have to pay if they wanted to stay or they could get a nearby motel.  I wouldn't reach out because it sounds like it might have been planned for them to be in the area and a true friend wouldn't have invited or allowed anyone to stay unless she was the one to rent the place and paid for it.

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