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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Bad attitude

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:53 PM
  • 15 Replies

I know it is a right of passage through the teen years but I am getting increasingly frustrated with my SD's bad attitude. There are times when she is fine but when she is not, get out of her way and don't say a word to her! She will snap at you in a second about the stupidest things (asking about homework).

I have told her to watch her tone with me and that I wouldn't allow her to speak to me that way. That usually gets an eye roll. My biggest thing was over spring break. We went to Myrtle Beach for 5 days. We were on a tight budget and didn't want to spend a ton of money. But I did buy her a pair of $40 sneakers (DH got a pair of sneakers  - this purchase was planned and he needed them we went to Tanger Outlet, and so did DD), we went on the skywheel (which she has been asking to do the last few times we went to MB), I got her a key chain with her name on it (which is hard to find because most of the time they don't have things with her name on it, DD got a necklace), and both DD and SD got t-shirts but SD wanted a airbrushed t-shirt not the kind she got. Not once did I get a thank you from SD (DD just turned 3 and she says thank you every time she is given something), I dont even care about not getting a thank you - however, SD's attitude just sucked. She acted pissed about getting the shirt and stupid me didn't even think about just saying forget it and NOT getting it. It just put me in a bad place on our vacation because of the way she was acting. The thing that I need advice about is how to deal with her bad attitude while we are on vacation? We are going to be going to Florida in June/July and honestly if this happens again I wont want her to go!

I did talk to her today about it and she said she understood, her attitude improved - for now lol. How do I keep her bad attitude from affecting me and putting me in a bad mood?

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
daisykat
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 12:22 AM
4 moms liked this
Ugh. What a spoiled brat. It's funny- had I ever acted that way with my parents, I would have lost privileges and the boom box (don't laugh! I was a child of the 80's!) and I would have gotten my ass chewed in a bad way. You just didn't act that way in my house. EVER. I think kids today expect to keep up with their friends and they get the phone, the laptop, the IPad, the flat-screen tv, etc. We've created little, entitlement-minded monsters.

She needs to get a part-time job so she can understand how hard it is to make that money, and she will be a little more appreciative of what she has. Take away the cell phone and tell her that to get it back, she has to do X, Y, and Z around the house, unless she has a JOB. I don't know if it will work for her, but it did for my kid.
jojo_star
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 12:35 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't put up with attitude, neither does DH. We have 4 kids, two jobs, and a busy schedule because of those things, so attitude and dealing with it is just something we don't have time for. At the beginning, when our two oldest first came to live with us (they are our niece and nephew, now 15 and 16) we had some issues with attitude. Because of the situation, we weren't very hard on them at first, but over time, we cracked down. We didn't fight or argue, we just took away privileges until they decide to drop the attitude. We treated them with respect, we weren't condescending or mean, we just calmly took away allowances, didn't allow them to go to friends, things like that, and now, with three teens and a pre-teen, we rarely have attitude problems, because our kids know that isn't going to get them anywhere at all. Of course, they are teens, so it happens, but we just take away whatever they are going to miss most, and that is that. 

marney.p
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 2:37 AM
1 mom liked this

If she was mine, the next holiday she would be staying at home. Cooking her own meals and cleaning the house. Dont give her anything if she is rude. I tell my kids if your going to be rude then the money I would normally spend on you, will be spent on new shoes for me. The know I will do it. So tend to behave.

PurpleHazey
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 3:44 PM

I have 6 with bad attitudes

App123
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 3:52 PM
If this is your SD then DH should be dealing with the situation as it is his child. It shouldn't ruin your vacation, set the rules and boundaries and make sure your hubby enforces them.
bellasmom32510
by Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 4:11 PM
Yes she is my SD BUT she lives with us and I have been raising her since she was 5. Her BM is in the picture but her relationship with SD has not been good for a few years - which is why she lives with us. She calls me "mom".


Quoting App123:

If this is your SD then DH should be dealing with the situation as it is his child. It shouldn't ruin your vacation, set the rules and boundaries and make sure your hubby enforces them.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
App123
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 4:21 PM
1 mom liked this
Well that is different if you are the one she considers Mom. Some ideas for the next vacation may be to have her earn spending money before you go by doing chores. Whatever she made will be what she can use to buy extras. When the attidude comes, stay calm if she sees she is getting to you she will continue but if she gets no response hopefully she will get tired of being moody and enjoy her time. I would just make sure she feels just as special as your other daughter and maybe plan a couple of hours for just the two of you. Good luck I have a 13 year old girl and sometimes I don't know what I am going to get when she walks in the room but I try to not let it set my mood!
App123
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 4:28 PM
Or better yet have DH take her our for a couple of hours to spend quality time and then you can get a much needed break and let the tension die down..
MrsBLB
by Missi on Apr. 10, 2013 at 6:07 PM

Hang in there, hugs.

MamaSnaps
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 6:14 PM

I have discovered that the following statement seems to sink into my kids. 

"just because you are in a bad mood does not give you the right to be abusive to those around you."

Abuse is a big deal and it seems to sink in much better than the typical 'adjust your attitude' statements.

I've been known to say something like "I do not abuse you, why do you feel you can abuse me?" "abusing me will not get you any favors." I use any form of reminding them that it's abusive necessary.

The ony time it doesn't seem to hit home is when the 15 year old son is ready to do battle and then there is no stopping him and he needs to go take a time out until he can discuss things in a civilized fashion. 

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