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confused

Posted by on Apr. 11, 2013 at 12:23 PM
  • 10 Replies

I am updating from yesterday, the post i wrote about my daughter being molested. She does not want to go to counseling right now, she just don't wanna talk right now to a counselor. I don't want to make her go,bit I wanna make sure she is alright. Moms what do you think. She loves school, she don't seem depressed, but she does hide her feelings very well. She wants to deal with it in her own way right now. She is 17, so what do you all think. The counseling started today, and it upset her.

by on Apr. 11, 2013 at 12:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
amonkeymom
by on Apr. 11, 2013 at 1:07 PM

I don't have advice, but (((hug))) for both of you. 

I do think counseling will be upsetting at first, for several reasons (talking to a stranger, dealing with her emotions over the issue, etc).  It will get better though if she continues to go.

02nana07
by Ida on Apr. 11, 2013 at 7:41 PM
1 mom liked this

 I think I would let her wait until she is ready but also let her know I am there for her

Kirsten3
by on Apr. 11, 2013 at 7:43 PM
Agreed and hugs


Quoting amonkeymom:

I don't have advice, but (((hug))) for both of you. 

I do think counseling will be upsetting at first, for several reasons (talking to a stranger, dealing with her emotions over the issue, etc).  It will get better though if she continues to go.


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glow930
by on Apr. 11, 2013 at 9:36 PM

YES I THINK I WILL LET HER WAIT, BECAUSE SHE REALLY GOT UPSET. WE TELL HER THAT WE ARE THERE FOR HER AND ANYTIME SHE NEEDS TO TALK WE ARE THERE. I AM  GONNA STOP THE COUNSELING FOR NOW. THANK YOU

sahlady
by Gold Member on Apr. 11, 2013 at 9:49 PM
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I would ask the counselor his/her advice.

But my gut reaction is to make her go.  You can not hide from tough issues in your life, you can not pretend it isnt happening, you can not wait to see if it gets better.... In life you face your issues head on; you call on your loved ones for support and guidance but face your issues head on; you scream, you cry, you get mad but you face your issues head on.  

I think this is a lesson she needs to learn, it has been 5 years... she needs to take the power.... and she can only do that by facing this head on and proving to her self that SHE has the control.  She is an amazing girl that just happened to get molested, she is NOT the molested girl. This was an event in her life horrible and terrible, but this is not the event that should define her life.  Let her take the power... even if you need to push her a little at the start.


But then again.... that is only my opinion... I would ask the counselor.

bizzeemom2717
by on Apr. 12, 2013 at 3:21 AM
I agree up to a point. Good luck give her a few weeks.

Quoting 02nana07:

 I think I would let her wait until she is ready but also let her know I am there for her

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ForeverLawst
by Member on Apr. 12, 2013 at 8:13 AM


Quoting sahlady:

I would ask the counselor his/her advice.

But my gut reaction is to make her go.  You can not hide from tough issues in your life, you can not pretend it isnt happening, you can not wait to see if it gets better.... In life you face your issues head on; you call on your loved ones for support and guidance but face your issues head on; you scream, you cry, you get mad but you face your issues head on.  

I think this is a lesson she needs to learn, it has been 5 years... she needs to take the power.... and she can only do that by facing this head on and proving to her self that SHE has the control.  She is an amazing girl that just happened to get molested, she is NOT the molested girl. This was an event in her life horrible and terrible, but this is not the event that should define her life.  Let her take the power... even if you need to push her a little at the start.


But then again.... that is only my opinion... I would ask the counselor.

So, so true. Plus, if you let her wait, she will most likely not ever deal with it and it has the potential of causing problems in her relationships later in her life. Deal with it head on before it starts to fester. Repressed emotions can cause physical illness, issues down the line with cutting/addictions etc. 

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Apr. 12, 2013 at 8:35 AM

 I don't know whether I would make her go or not.  I was molested as a child and didn't tell anyone until I was an adult.  It did cause a lot of problems in my life, and I don't know if talking to someone about it would have helped.

Barabell
by Barbara on Apr. 12, 2013 at 10:35 AM

She probably doesn't want to go because she doesn't know what to expect. I would try to have her try it for 4 sessions and then see if she wants to quit going.

Hannahluvsdogs
by Silver Member on Apr. 12, 2013 at 11:32 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting ForeverLawst:


Quoting sahlady:

I would ask the counselor his/her advice.

But my gut reaction is to make her go.  You can not hide from tough issues in your life, you can not pretend it isnt happening, you can not wait to see if it gets better.... In life you face your issues head on; you call on your loved ones for support and guidance but face your issues head on; you scream, you cry, you get mad but you face your issues head on.  

I think this is a lesson she needs to learn, it has been 5 years... she needs to take the power.... and she can only do that by facing this head on and proving to her self that SHE has the control.  She is an amazing girl that just happened to get molested, she is NOT the molested girl. This was an event in her life horrible and terrible, but this is not the event that should define her life.  Let her take the power... even if you need to push her a little at the start.


But then again.... that is only my opinion... I would ask the counselor.

So, so true. Plus, if you let her wait, she will most likely not ever deal with it and it has the potential of causing problems in her relationships later in her life. Deal with it head on before it starts to fester. Repressed emotions can cause physical illness, issues down the line with cutting/addictions etc. 

I agree. The counseling is making her face what happened and that's why she's getting upset. But it will be easier in the long run and better for her to deal with it now.

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