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The Debator Teen -curtness, won't shut his mouth, raising the tone-GRRR What do you Moms do??

Posted by on Apr. 15, 2013 at 2:45 PM
  • 12 Replies

Hey Teen Moms,

Recently I noticed my 16 year old teen son has been raising his tone more to me and if I ask him to do something there is a always a debate if its something he doesn't want to do. Also, he has been saying "I;m not doing that or I'm not doing this or I'm going here...etc   For example. His father and I have joint custody and one night he was with me he didn't have his spring school shirt. So he said to me, "I'm going to get my shirt from my dad's tomorrow and I'm going to stay with him."  HELLO?? that next night is my night and he telling what to do? I adressed that on spot. This seems like it came out the blue...He's really a good kid but the raising of the tone sometimes is crazy which I check him on each time. The latest was I was watching him and my nephews on the weekend and i told them all to eat cereal and my kid was the one who said ..."I'm Not eating cereal. I'm eating blank."  That was it for me...I pulled him into another room and read him the rights. I wanted to blast him! I had my brother talk to him as well. So I couldn't wait to get on here and see what other moms have done with their teen sons and daughters who start to smell their butts and show their heiny's. man if this was old school generation is all i'm gonna say.

I asked was he haviong sex!! Where is this coming from....thanks for your responses :-)

by on Apr. 15, 2013 at 2:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
wakymom
by Silver Member on Apr. 15, 2013 at 7:22 PM

Is he disciplined when he does all this? Sounds to me like he's testing boundries and trying to assert some independence. Lay out your expectations and what will happen if he acts up/out. Be consistent w/ it, too.






atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 15, 2013 at 8:21 PM
I agree with the PP. Discipline every time something happens.
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Txlisa7969
by Bronze Member on Apr. 15, 2013 at 8:30 PM

I am not saying this is the case but just an observation from an outsider looking in I guess.  Could it be he feels you are still treating him like he is 12-13 instead of 16?  Maybe you need to give him a little space to make a few decisions or choices on his own.  While I do have hard fast rules with my teens there are a few things I am fairly flexible on and do tend to pick my battles on the small stuff.  Now the use of a disrespectful tone is a total no-go for me BUT that being said if it's out of character for him maybe there is something else going on in his life right now you aren't aware of.  I have two teen girls and I do know that once a month I try to be a bit more patient with their teen-tudes if you know what I mean lol.  Granted he isn't female but like I said there may be and outside reason for his at home issues.  Just a thought.  Btw...what was the reasoning for asking him if he was sexually active yet??


boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Apr. 15, 2013 at 9:26 PM

Tell him you do not appreciate his attitude.   If he expects to be treated with respect, he needs to be respectful of you.    Be consistant.  

What does sex have to do with it???




Toshi92
by on Apr. 16, 2013 at 7:35 AM
I agree. I think he's trying that independence thing and in the beginning I didn't say much about it and wrote it off as teen stuff they do. I just started disciplining and now need to be consistent. Thanks


Quoting wakymom:

Is he disciplined when he does all this? Sounds to me like he's testing boundries and trying to assert some independence. Lay out your expectations and what will happen if he acts up/out. Be consistent w/ it, too.







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Toshi92
by on Apr. 16, 2013 at 7:38 AM
Yes I told him that and I'm going to see how this goes. But lol! To the moms who asked what sex had to do with it...its an old school term where if the teen starts acting up smelling himself or shall I say like wavy mom "inserting his indepence" its a sign that he has just started having sex lost his virgnity and thinks he's king of the jungle and showing his power. Its old school thanks ladies


Quoting boys2men2soon:

Tell him you do not appreciate his attitude.   If he expects to be treated with respect, he needs to be respectful of you.    Be consistant.  

What does sex have to do with it???


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Toshi92
by on Apr. 16, 2013 at 7:41 AM
Yes I thought of that too and asked him was it because we are in transition of moving and we are leaving our home that we shared together for the past couple of years. I think its that. And yes I do know about those teen tudes! That's why I put the post up. And the sex thing I answered to the other response just an old school thing. I was picking at straws. Thanks!


Quoting Txlisa7969:

I am not saying this is the case but just an observation from an outsider looking in I guess.  Could it be he feels you are still treating him like he is 12-13 instead of 16?  Maybe you need to give him a little space to make a few decisions or choices on his own.  While I do have hard fast rules with my teens there are a few things I am fairly flexible on and do tend to pick my battles on the small stuff.  Now the use of a disrespectful tone is a total no-go for me BUT that being said if it's out of character for him maybe there is something else going on in his life right now you aren't aware of.  I have two teen girls and I do know that once a month I try to be a bit more patient with their teen-tudes if you know what I mean lol.  Granted he isn't female but like I said there may be and outside reason for his at home issues.  Just a thought.  Btw...what was the reasoning for asking him if he was sexually active yet??



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atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 16, 2013 at 7:57 AM
You never disciplined before now??


Quoting Toshi92:

I agree. I think he's trying that independence thing and in the beginning I didn't say much about it and wrote it off as teen stuff they do. I just started disciplining and now need to be consistent. Thanks




Quoting wakymom:

Is he disciplined when he does all this? Sounds to me like he's testing boundries and trying to assert some independence. Lay out your expectations and what will happen if he acts up/out. Be consistent w/ it, too.








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fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Apr. 16, 2013 at 8:14 AM
1 mom liked this

 I would say that it's normal teenage boy testing his boundries.

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2013 at 9:50 AM

Be consistant and give him a little control over his choices. 

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