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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

complete deviant or typically teen?

Posted by on Apr. 15, 2013 at 10:33 PM
  • 30 Replies
Anything I tell dd 12, I'm being mean or I hate her or I treat her different. I act different since dh has been away. She raises her voice constantly. If I tell the lil ones to do something she questions me. If I tell them to lay down its time to be quiet and go to bed, she's going to pinch, tickle, hit, or whatever to get the lil ones to hollar. If I whip her, I'm abusing her and she hopes I leave bruises so she can tell her teachers. She antagonizes the lil ones now dd7 is saying I hate her and she didn't like me. None of the punishments I've tried implementing are working. What else can I do? Fyi...on the rare occasion I do whip her, it's with my hand and typically I hurt myself more then I affect her.
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by on Apr. 15, 2013 at 10:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 15, 2013 at 10:46 PM
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May be normal but she needs discipline. Don't let her get away with it or you will be in big trouble a few years down the road. She is too old for spanking. Find her vice. No friends, no computer, no phone. Also praise her when she acts right.
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atm1979
by on Apr. 15, 2013 at 10:49 PM
I've tried this I'm at a loss


Quoting atlmom2:

May be normal but she needs discipline. Don't let her get away with it or you will be in big trouble a few years down the road. She is too old for spanking. Find her vice. No friends, no computer, no phone. Also praise her when she acts right.

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atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 15, 2013 at 10:52 PM
1 mom liked this
Whatever it is you have to stay consistant.


Quoting atm1979:

I've tried this I'm at a loss




Quoting atlmom2:

May be normal but she needs discipline. Don't let her get away with it or you will be in big trouble a few years down the road. She is too old for spanking. Find her vice. No friends, no computer, no phone. Also praise her when she acts right.


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ididntdoit111
by on Apr. 15, 2013 at 11:08 PM
1 mom liked this

She's acting out because of changes in her life. I'm guessing DH has left? (divorce or work) And let's mix puberty in there and you've got a lovely little hormonal bomb. I am currently going through my last 2 teens , both boys 13 and 14. When my girls were 15 and 17 my husband died suddenly. Those kids gave my a run for my money let me tell you! Consistency is the key.Try talking it over with her. Maybe over a little Mom to kid time? Counsuling? Always correct her for her behavior, she's testing you. Growing up is hard work. For both of you.

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Apr. 15, 2013 at 11:52 PM
2 moms liked this
Nothing you are doing is working so it's time to try something new. Set boundaries, stick by them and be consistent. This age is the time when taking away PRIVILIGES like cell phone, TV, video games, time with friends works. Good luck. Btw, whipping/hitting a child NEVER a good idea, esp at this age. Try setting boundaries and consistency instead. Good luck
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atm1979
by on Apr. 16, 2013 at 12:45 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry about dh. She had been through alot of things lately. I try to be understanding. She goes to her second counseling meeting soon.


Quoting ididntdoit111:

She's acting out because of changes in her life. I'm guessing DH has left? (divorce or work) And let's mix puberty in there and you've got a lovely little hormonal bomb. I am currently going through my last 2 teens , both boys 13 and 14. When my girls were 15 and 17 my husband died suddenly. Those kids gave my a run for my money let me tell you! Consistency is the key.Try talking it over with her. Maybe over a little Mom to kid time? Counsuling? Always correct her for her behavior, she's testing you. Growing up is hard work. For both of you.


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fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Apr. 16, 2013 at 8:23 AM

 I agree completely with ididntdoit and thing the same thing.  Mine are going through their changes in teen life and have been more and more defiant than usual.

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2013 at 9:34 AM

Well first I would quit whipping her, really you're spanking a 12 year old? No wonder she's defiant. As it is tweens are emotional roller coasters, high strung and testing their boundaries. Throw in a spanking and you're just adding to her defiance. 

You need to have consistant consequense. Make a family pact, with what is acceptable and what isn't. On that chart put what the consequences will be if X rule is broke. Then when the rule is broke follow through with it. Make sure to put on there proper behavior towards siblings (for all of them).

Is there a reason she's in the same room as the little ones when they are going to sleep? Find her her own space, even if it means giving up some of yours. Is she going to bed at the same time as them? I hope not cause she is older then them, they should be asleep by the time she goes to bed.

Again stop spanking her, just ridiculous.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Apr. 16, 2013 at 10:12 AM
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I agree with the previous posters.      Because she is older than her sibs, she should have more priveledges...and more responsibilities.   Stop hitting.     Talk to her, as opposed to at her.   Ask her for her assistance with the little ones, perhaps she can read with them or play a board game while you get stuff done, and in turn, for being helpful....she can stay up and watch amovie or play a game with you?

Ask her what she thinks would happen to her and her sibs if she told her teachers she was abused??




Momabear455
by on Apr. 16, 2013 at 10:31 AM

I agree with atimom2 she's too big for spanking, but you need to set boundaries and make sure she abides by the rules or she could get out of control as she gets older

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