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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

On my last straw....

Posted by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 3:14 PM
  • 12 Replies
Our son has been stealing,lying,smoking pot...we've removed his bedroom door, yelled at him for smoking in the house, talked to school counselor, took away the cell phone as he had posted concerning pot-related messages, etc...We've basically tried everything short of putting him on probation, which we had threatened on a few occasions. This has been going on for far too long. I'd say the majority of the students in his high school smoke pot. I had even called his principal to discuss the issue. He has been on in school suspension several times for skipping class. Well, to make a long story short, he really doesn't show respect to himself, his dad, me or his siblings. I am worried he will become severely addicted..I mean he already is to a good start on that. No judgement, please. just looking for advice from those who have been down this road before.
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 3:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
corgiesX2
by Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 3:18 PM

 I have not been down this road but wanted just wqnted to say good luck and I am sorry you are dealing with this...Parenting is surly the hardest job on earth.  Remember to breath!!   ((hugs))

MonkeysGrammy
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 4:21 PM
1 mom liked this

 Have you tried just talking to him without the yelling and screaming? I went through this with my oldest who is now 21 and will be a dad again next month. We always tried everything until I just broke down and took him out to talk, just us. *my hubs tends to overreact to everything* He was really honest with me and we talked about a lot I had no idea he was going through. Well after some counseling and open conversations he is doing right by his little family and I am so proud of the man he is becoming (albeit way too early!!) Good Luck

                                           My World...My Life...My Boyz..


Bonez 8/3/91           Big Bear 4/13/94       Stinky 9/26/97giving dad card                bear with heart             ninja         (MonkeysDaddy)

arkmomma06
by Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 4:43 PM

Hello..

I havent been through what you are going through now, but wanted to say that I hope things get better for you!!!

DonnaCox
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:28 AM

I've been through this plus 100 times.  One day, when my oldest was about 17, we had yet another blow up and he got it book bag and some clothes and asked his dad to take him to a friends house and he did.  About a week later he called wanting to come back home and it may be the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I told him no.  But, I have to say, A LOT had went on up to this point, so it was the last straw.  It took about a year, I guess, and he finally straightened up and started taking responsibility.  Now he's 28 and becoming a social worker and doing awesome.

I'm sending hugs : )  Like corgiesX2 said, remember to breath.

mamabear0791
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 11:12 AM

The best advice I have is get him into counseling...now, if not yesterday! My sister gave her parents similar problems, and since stepmom was unwell (heart, diabetes), we took her in until she turned 18 (bad idea). My family put her in counseling, and although it took her a while, she has become an amazing woman (she is in her early 30s now, with three well-behaved children.) 


Good luck!

daisykat
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 11:50 AM
Boys love their mothers more than anyone in the world. The mother-son bond is the most special, and MonkeysGrammy is right on- take him out, just the two of you, and ask him to talk. It may take a while for him to warm up to it so don't expect him to pour his heart out in the first 5 minutes. ANY personal experience of your own with drugs, and not necessarily all bad ones, will help you relate to him and establish some common ground. I told my son about my partying in my 20's, and my dabbling in recreational pharmaceuticals, and he has never touched the stuff and has no desire to smoke or drink as a result.

Mamabear0791 was right when she says counseling, immediately. He needs to work through the reasons why he feels the need to self-medicate and not deal with emotions. Give him lots of love, but unfortunately, there may come a day when you tell him to leave your house and then he'll have to sink or swim on his own. As a mother with sons, I know this would be the hardest thing you've ever done, but it may be the only way he gets his act together.
childofGod995
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 11:55 AM

put him in a foster home for awhile and see if that works.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Apr. 19, 2013 at 2:15 PM

 I haven't been down this road with drugs, but have been down it without the drugs and how he is acting towards you and your family.  Hugs.

lazyd
by Bronze Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 12:45 PM

Going thru this with my 14yo daughter right now.  Nothins workin.  She is in individual and group therapy, has been for a while.  She just doesnt care what others say and she just tells her therapist what they want to hear.  We've taken away her phone, her friends, her social life, her computer.  She even talks to us and tells us whats wrong with her life but we cant fix everything (we've tried) and she just doesnt have the coping mechanisms needed to function in society.  She has bad anxiety and is on meds.

PurpleHazey
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 8:07 AM

I removed my teens door for a long while. Yoy yelled at him for smoking in the house, heck I would of threw a fit over him smoking period. All I have to say is nothing allowed point blank!

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