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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

My son is taking me there!

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 7:26 AM
  • 13 Replies
Hello,

I am a mother of a 17yr old boy & 10yr old girl. Recently my son & I have been going through it. I love my kids to death and wouldn't change nothing, but their attitudes sometime.

My son graduates this June and for some reason here lately he has been this kid idk. I ask him to do things he does it when he feels like it, rolling eyes blowing what I say off, then he did not come home from school & came in the house at 11pm on a school night! A 1st for me.

Talk about beyond pissed! I ask where he had been he says playing basketball, but doesn't come in the house with his ball. Then I ask where he says up the street wth! I ask who he was with he says the kids in the neighborhood! So I explain to him how folks out here don't care about race, male or female, age or how big you are they will kidnap or kill anyone he shrugged his shoulders. He had 20 Days until graduation and he is making my blood boil.
This morning we got into it, where I was going to call the police. My son is 6'5 220, I'm 5'6 he may be bigger but I don't want to or my hands on him cuz if he buck back I'm going to jail.
He has been acting out since his step dad passed away a few years ago, but not like this. I'm tired of fighting with him. I have asked my brother's & friends to talk to him, and he will be cool for a minute and then we are back to the bs.
I don't want to give up on him like my mom did me, idk what to do at this point anymore.
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by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 7:26 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Barabell
by Barbara on Apr. 19, 2013 at 9:47 AM

How else are you handling it? Are there consequences for breaking curfew?

vlynn.iowa
by Bronze Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 9:55 AM
1 mom liked this

 I would sit down with him and ask him if he is afraid of becoming an adult.  My 17 year old daughter started acting out (again!) and once she finally admitted that she was afraid of becoming an adult we were able to have an open discussion with her and things have been better.

I would also start a discussion him about plans for after he turns 18.I would have the apartment rental section of the paper open (or the on-line page open) and the want ads availabe. I'm not saying you should kick him out but it is ok to set ground rules for him to continue living at home:  1) he will have a job (full time if he is not in school part time if he is taking college classes) 2) He should consider taking classes at the local community college.

Good luck


fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Apr. 19, 2013 at 2:21 PM

 Have you tried having a conversation with him?  Laying out the rules and consequences and making sure he understands why your rules are in place?  He's getting ready to graduate, becoming a "man" and he probably feels like you are too controling.

daisykat
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:16 PM
I'm wondering about his mental health. Depression often manifests as anger in boys and men. You might think he's just got a pissy attitude, but I'm curious as to how sad he is inside. He's also reaching a crossroads in his life, and if he is depressed then situations where there is a major life change with either make it worse or rejuvinate him. Take him out for coffee or out to lunch, some place private, and try to talk to him about what's going on. Ask him what he wants from you, and go from there.

That said, this is your house and your rules. If he has any privileges that you have control over, he must understand he will lose them if he doesn't follow the rules. Those rules are for his own good. Tell him you don't want to have to do that, but it's your job as a mother to make him understand that at home, as in life, he will always have people he is accountable to and there will always be rules. Good luck, mama.

Oh-and if he's putting his hands on you (I see you said you almost called the police) then he MUST face some consequences. I can't say have him arrested because I don't know that I could do that with my own 16-year-old, but keep us posted. *hugs*
PurpleHazey
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 9:48 PM

Welcome!

PurpleHazey
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 9:49 PM

 


Quoting Barabell:

How else are you handling it? Are there consequences for breaking curfew?

Yes! I was wondering the samething.

 

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:34 PM

How is he dealing with upcoming graduation?  Is he excited....or scared?    I ask because lots of seniors realize that the life they know is about to change forever, and it is a daunting thought.   My oldest son experienced that.   He didn't act out, but he was a bit depressed.        Perhaps your son is acting out due to fear of change, being responsible for himself, college, etc. ?   




Mz.Ann1
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 11:48 PM
I have taken all electronics away and he can't go anywhere, he has to find a job and write an apology and explain his actions


Quoting Barabell:

How else are you handling it? Are there consequences for breaking curfew?


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Mz.Ann1
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 11:53 PM
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I think he is scared he really does not like to talk about what he wants to do! He has been talking about going to the military, but I think he os scared of that as well because of what he hears. Also he really doesn't know what he wants to do it is an option, but he acts like it's nothing and he is not scared but I think he is scared to tell me


Quoting boys2men2soon:

How is he dealing with upcoming graduation?  Is he excited....or scared?    I ask because lots of seniors realize that the life they know is about to change forever, and it is a daunting thought.   My oldest son experienced that.   He didn't act out, but he was a bit depressed.        Perhaps your son is acting out due to fear of change, being responsible for himself, college, etc. ?   


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drfink
by Emily on Apr. 20, 2013 at 1:04 AM
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Quoting boys2men2soon:

How is he dealing with upcoming graduation?  Is he excited....or scared?    I ask because lots of seniors realize that the life they know is about to change forever, and it is a daunting thought.   My oldest son experienced that.   He didn't act out, but he was a bit depressed.        Perhaps your son is acting out due to fear of change, being responsible for himself, college, etc. ?   

My older two didn't act out to quite this degree but it was up and down.I think it has to do with being a little worried ...no matter how self assured they are ,a little cutting the apron strings ,a little making it easier to leave in the fall.I had talked with friends and it wasn't unusual .

Good Luck 

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