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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Depression and Self Esteem Issues

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 2:01 PM
  • 17 Replies
I have a question for all you moms out there. Remember when we were teenagers? When we were kids? How come we didn't have a ton of depressed kids with self esteem issues? I wasn't popular BY FAR in my school, in fact I was an outcast for most of it. But I didn't have depression or self esteem issues. Did you? Honestly? How come all the time, whenever a teenager is broody or moody or acts out in any way, most people point it to self esteem or depression begging the parent to take the child to counseling? Have we become the generation of parents that don't teach their children coping skills or to be responsible for their actions?

by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 2:01 PM
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LivinDeadGurl
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Working full-time and getting ready for school to start up again has be completely drained. I am barely on here anymore.
Monday at 8:32 PM
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 8:16 PM

When I was a teen a lot of my peers were depressed and has self-esteem issues. Many of my friends were in therapy or medicated due to issues.

02nana07
by Ida on Apr. 22, 2013 at 8:44 PM
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 I think parents today use the tv and computer along with other electronics as babysitters instead of teaching them how to deal with life

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:02 PM
1 mom liked this

I often ask myself this very question!   I think 'we' (I was in high school in the 80's) were raised to put our big girl panties on and cope.  Everyone has problems, but that doesn't give you an excuse to stop living.   My friends in HS had a boat load of troubles... divorce, parent suicide, parents coming out as Gay, AIDS in the family, etc.   We served as each others therapists.   None of us were diagnosed with anything, or in counseling.   Sure, we all had the blues at times, and we lifted each others spirits.    

I had self esteem issues to a point.  I lost my hair at 13 due to Alopecia.  I went through high school and college wearing a wig.... only my close friends knew the reason.  The rest of the school guessed and started rumors, which was entertaining!   I would go to school and learn that I had been mixed shampoo and woke up with my hair on my pillow, had survived chemotherapy, was in a fire and my scalp was burned, the list was long and imaginative. lol      I refused to let it handicap me!   I put that stupid wig on and traipsed to school each day.   It was hard.   I hated people talking about me, but I didn't let that show. I was bullied because of it but I was far from a victim.  I simply did not put up with it.  I met every challenge and prevailed.  I had good friends, both guys and girls who had my back.    I was not an outcast. I had lots of friends and boyfriends, too.

Sorry, I digress.

Kids today seem more inclined to make excuses than deal with the hand they have been dealt.  They lack inner strength and integrity.




sabrtooth1
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:27 PM
6 moms liked this

You are WAAAY outta line.  I'm 60 years old.  I was depressed and had self esteem issues as a kid, all the way into my 20's.  MANY other kids I knew, were depressed & had self esteem issues.  My FATHER committed suicide 50 years ago.  My uncle committed suicide 70 years ago, as did my aunt about 40 years ago.  My mother and my grandmother were depressed.  My mother-in-law was depressed and bulimic, and died from the bulimia.  My brother-in-law was bipolar, and died because he was too depressed to continue getting treatment for a severe health condition.  Suicide by neglect. 

40 years ago, when I first graduated college, I began working in the group health insurance industry.  I continued in that field for 20 years.  When I started, many insurance plans did not have mental health coverage.  MOST group health plans that DID have coverage, SPECIFICALLY DENIED treatment for ADHD, drug addiction, alcoholism, autisim, Aspergers, Tourette's and other "soft' disorders.  It is only in the last 15-20 years that more people have insurance coverage for mental health disorders. 

So altho these disorders have been RAMPANT for generations, there were not a lot of options for treatment.

The sin now, is that there are STILL people who refuse to acknowledge these disorders, especially in their children, leaving them in anguish, failure, and with alcohol & drug addiction caused by self-medication.  Suicide is the THIRD leading cause of death among 15-25 year olds.  The first two are auto accident, and homicide.  And a number of THOSE deaths were precipitated by depression, and other emotional disorders.  The sin, is that this is ALL so treatable.

gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 1:10 AM

I was born in 1963. There definitely were kids with depression  issues. Self esteem issues too. We just called it by different names a lot of the time. Loners, stoners, bullies.

Manth
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 1:45 AM

I had massive depression and self esteem issues as a kid and as a teen.  They just weren't RECOGNISED as depression or self esteem.  I was told to 'pull myself together', told to 'buck up - no-one is interested in your problems'.  I was a loner, didn't believe I 'deserved' friends because no-one would like someone who was sad all the time.  So I isolated myself and kept my dark thoughts away from anyone who might have helped.

It wasn't until I was in my 40s and in dire straights that I sought help, that I even BELIEVED that anyone COULD help me.  It took a caring doctor to spot the signs and point me to a great therapist and psychiatrist to get to the root of my issues.  My brother has bipolar disorder, my sisters both suffered depression over the years and one of them committed suicide.  Things might have been VERY different if someone had recognised in our teens that we needed help and support, not isolation and being told to pull ourselves together.

I recognised some of the signs of depression and anxiety taking hold in my younger daughter in primary (elementary) school.  Using tools that I had been given in therapy I was able to help her work through her issues so that now as a teen she has great self-esteem and no signs of depression.  I wish someone had taught me these skills while I was young!

sabrtooth1
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 1:00 PM



Quoting Manth: I recognised some of the signs of depression and anxiety taking hold in my younger daughter in primary (elementary) school.  Using tools that I had been given in therapy I was able to help her work through her issues so that now as a teen she has great self-esteem and no signs of depression.  I wish someone had taught me these skills while I was young!

I spent half of my college education studying behavioral psychology, because growing up, we didn't have the money or insurance for the mental health help I KNEW I needed.  After I graduated and got a decent job with decent insurance, I took care of the rest.  Like you, I saw signs in my kids, but between behavioral techniques, and their intelligence, we muddled thru for a while.  It wasn't until the grades began to tank that I said, "My kids are NOT dumb.  My kids are NOT airheads, lazy, or failures."  And even then, my 14yo dd said, "If you even THOUGHT this was something we could treat, why did you make me suffer so long??"

Because the forgetfullness, the scattered thinking, the silent depression, the inability to stay focused, the FIGHT to keep up with things that were getting harder and harder to control, and the knowledge that other people could easily do the things they struggled with, WAS SUFFERING. 

Barabell
by Barbara on Apr. 23, 2013 at 1:04 PM

I don't think times have changed. Instead, I think we're now more socially aware of depression and tend to seek professional help more often now.

MrsBLB
by Missi on Apr. 23, 2013 at 1:16 PM

I have 4, three are still teens.  One went through some really deep depression.  Counseling helped tons.  It was a great tool for her.

fammatthews4
by Trisha on Apr. 23, 2013 at 1:21 PM
I had depression and self esteem issues as a teen, still struggle with them today. I think in today's society it's not kept as quiet as it was in the past and parents seek help for their kids rather than just ignoring it.

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