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Anyone gone through son going to live with dad?

Posted by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 10:38 PM
  • 7 Replies

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My 14 year old son has made the decision to live with his dad. I ironically thought it might be good for him to experience a little attention for a semester (he is an 8th grader) but now he doesn't want to move back home. His twin brother, sister and 3 year old half sister all live with me and my husband 30 min away. My heart is torn apart but I think forcing him to come home would drive him away even more. Any words of wisdom?
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by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 10:38 PM
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Replies (1-7):
gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 10:52 PM

Is Dad on the same page with you as far as rules and expectations? Sounds like he probably is.  Just let him know the door is always open if he wants to move back.

My MIL didn't WANT my husband when his parents split. He lived with her for a little while, then she sent him to his dad and made it clear all his life he wasnt' really wanted.

Little wonder she wasn't mourned when she died last year.

Mayceesmommy
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 11:04 PM
Thanks for your reply. Our households are very different but he's loved in both places. At my house he has to get along with his siblings and we go to church and don't use alcohol. He is getting lots of attention and says he doesn't have to have a tag-along like his brother with him every day.
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angelmom0405
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 11:08 PM
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As long as he is being taken care of I would leave him with his dad as long as he wants. Most boys want their dads at his age.
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02nana07
by Ida on Apr. 22, 2013 at 11:50 AM
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 It would be hard but let him stay and let him know your door is always open if he changes his mind.  The new will wear off and he might decide to come back soon either way let him know you love him.

Mayceesmommy
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 12:15 PM
Thank you, ladies. I'm going to give it my best.
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Monsita
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 12:54 PM
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hugswhen my son told me he wants to go and move to his Dad, this is what I told him "I WILL FIGHT FOR MY RIGHT OF BEING IN YOUR LIFE"  " if we need to go back to court, lets do it!!"   "I want to be able to do my mother job and duty until you are 18, and I know there is no COURT ON EARTH THAT WILL TAKE MY RIGHTS AWAY just because you want to go and live with your Dad"

"I would let you spend more time with your dada.....but going away to live with him AWAY FROM ME AND YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTER, is not something i will allow you to do!!!!!!!!!!!"

"we have joint custody and if any of my kids wants to change tha,t WE WILL GO BACK TO COURT AND I WOULD FIGHT FOR MY RIGHT TO BE IN THEIR LIVES!!!"

3 months later my son is spending more time with Dad, but he LIVES HERE WITH ALL OF US. Once he told me "MOM I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE THAT YOU WANTED ME in your life even when I was going to be mad at you for not letting  me do what I wanted"

he told me too, " I WANTED TO SEE HOW MUCH YOU REALLY WANTED ME HERE WITH YOU!!!!"

Mayceesmommy
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 8:37 PM
Ok, update! I told my son that I trusted him enough to make the decision and he stayed with his dad for six months.I was SO sad and missed him every day (although I saw him on Wednesdays and every other weekend.) Now he has decided that he is MOVING BACK HOME :0)! I'm so happy!!! Just thought I'd share the good news!
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