So...my 14 yr old son wants to live with father.
I feel so against this for so many reasons...
I love my child dearly, and I would have to settle for reduced time spent with him.
His father abandoned him to go to Europe, and then other places (Califonia, Canada, and then Montanna) before his first birthday (1998) up until he was 9 yrs old(2007). We didn't hear from him at all (no phone call, no child suppot, nothing) Except when he showed up on my doorstep out of the blue when he was 2 (2000). He asked about seeing him and I told him he needed to develope some *roots* where we live, because our son needed a consistant presence from him. He seen him a few hours and then dissapeared again, until 2004. He showed up again, out of the blue, with his 1 yr old daughter.
I decided to let them stay with me, because they were homeless, and i thought it would be good for my son, to have his father around. However, this proved not to be the case, he was addicted to internet games, had no job, and dumped all the responcibilty of his daughter on me. He didn't interact with our son, and left me to take care of his daughter. So, insted of kicking them out on the street and probably destroying the relationship my son could have with his father, My son and I moved in with a friend and I let him sublease my apartment. Well, he refused to exercise visitation with kaleb, which was infuriating to me because I had paid the rent and electric bill until he found a roomate, just so he could still see his son. Anyhoo, I couldn't just kick him out of the apartment (he lived there for about 8 months), but when my lease came up for renewal, I did not resign and gave him 30 days to move out.
Well, and ofcourse we didn't hear a peep out of him, not until he had to pay childsupport. My son was born in 1998, and his father didn't start paying child support until 2006. However, it wasn't until 2007 his father decided to exercise regular visitation. During this time, I have had another child, in 2005. However, that relationship did not work out, but I did get married in 2008 and had 2 children in 2009 and 2011.
However, when my son turned 14, his father decides to sue me for custody. Because my son is at that magic age where he gets a say, and my ex has been playing disney land parent. So, we go to mediation and I decide to let Kaleb spend a school year with his father, as a Trial run. He is doing worse in school, he has the biggest potty mouth, I've lost control and respect from him. He still wants to live with his dad and i refuse to play disney land parent.
Anyhoo, i could say...ok let him live with his dad, I'll still get to see him..though not as much. However, i am A SAHM, and I know he will sue me for child support. This is going to completely disrupt our household. I feel repulsed at the Notion that i will have to pay him child support after I, and with the help of my partner, took care of our son until he was 8 yrs old without any support from my sons father. It's just so frustrating, I really don't want to sound selfish...but sheesh. I can't help it. I could fight him on custody..but that would be a huge drain on finaces, and i could lose...just because of the simple fact I let him spend a trial year with his father, (worked out with mediators), and because my son wants to live with him.
What would you do? How would you handle it? Help! :)