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is it weird for a kid to act like this before leaving for college

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My daughter is really excited about the college she is going to, and is kind of giving up on the year already. Not with grades though, she still has As and Bs but she is fed up with almost everything else. Recently, she and her dad got in a little argument about something petty but instead of quickly resolving it like they usually do she ranted at him about how she was sick of being controlled and that he better start being more respectful. she said she had always been to scared to stand up to him but now she was almost out she wasn't going to just try and deal with stuff without standing up for herself. shes always been a pretty agreeable kid but thats all changed recently now she's almost out of this town and she claims shes just saying the stuff she always wanted to. she's basically ditched the girls i thought were her friends, all she said was she's sick of acting like she likes them. and this guy who i know likes her, i heard from my friend she rejected him pretty rudely. Im so shocked by this, ove never known her to be deliberately rude and i dont know whether to believe she really did hhave such big issues with everyone (though she always hated the small town we live in) or if theres a bigger problem going on. she says that shes sick of acting around people, and she just wants to get to college where she can have a new start. Do you believe this or is it something more i should be worried about?
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 3:35 PM
Replies (31-40):
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:06 PM

I don't think it is that odd.  She is going through a major change in her life in a few months and that is a huge deal.  I would let her express herself and encourage her to talk about it, and then remind her that being rude is not acceptable.  When teens(and adults) go through major life changes, it can affect their personality and behavior.  She sounds like she is anxious and nervous, all normal.

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:10 PM
Normal. I did this when it was my last year. With me it was the fact that I could consider myself grown and felt like I didn't have to do what everyone wanted me to do anymore.
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:11 PM

I've realized that some teens, right before going to college, start to pick fights with everyone - and my theory is that because (subconcsiously) it will be easier to be away in a different state/city if they're leaving the tension

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:14 PM
Is it possible she could be pregnant? Sounds like she's pretty moody. I'm sorry. But again she could be just pushing y'all away because she doesn't want to be too emotional when she goes for college. Good luck momma.
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:31 PM

In a way it kinda sounds like me when I moved out at 18. Though I was never rude about it, I did let loose a few things I no longer had to keep hidden. If she's especially been secretive or internally angry, yeah I can see her letting that out.

Now the ditching friends seems a bit odd to me. Like someone else said perhaps thats just her way of coping with the change she sees coming.

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:35 PM

I agree.

Quoting DragonInfinity:

 I think there is something more that needs to be looked into.

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:35 PM

My kids never did it, but I do know a lot of kids who did.

However, it would be a cold day in hell before I would allow any of my kids to talk to me that way. Disrespect is never allowed. difference of opinions can be worked out, but the moment they opened their mouths in a disrespectful manner would be the last.

by Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:36 PM
This is a concept called the broken nest as opposed to the empty nest, kids act out and reject what is familiar and safe in an effort to make the departure less painful for them. I am a clinical therapist working with children and adolescents, not sure if that makes a difference.
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:37 PM

 My Senior daughter does not act like that, and I wouldn't tolerate it if she did.

I would sit down and ask her if anything was bothering her or if she is apprehensive of anything. 

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:38 PM

It's normal, she's excited about being on her own and is asserting her independence. This guy could have easily just interpreted the rejection as rude, but even so, she's distancing herself so she can have a fresh start. She's stil figuring out who she is and if that's what she feels she needs to do to do so, that's what she'll do. You shouldn't be worried.

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