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is it weird for a kid to act like this before leaving for college

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My daughter is really excited about the college she is going to, and is kind of giving up on the year already. Not with grades though, she still has As and Bs but she is fed up with almost everything else. Recently, she and her dad got in a little argument about something petty but instead of quickly resolving it like they usually do she ranted at him about how she was sick of being controlled and that he better start being more respectful. she said she had always been to scared to stand up to him but now she was almost out she wasn't going to just try and deal with stuff without standing up for herself. shes always been a pretty agreeable kid but thats all changed recently now she's almost out of this town and she claims shes just saying the stuff she always wanted to. she's basically ditched the girls i thought were her friends, all she said was she's sick of acting like she likes them. and this guy who i know likes her, i heard from my friend she rejected him pretty rudely. Im so shocked by this, ove never known her to be deliberately rude and i dont know whether to believe she really did hhave such big issues with everyone (though she always hated the small town we live in) or if theres a bigger problem going on. she says that shes sick of acting around people, and she just wants to get to college where she can have a new start. Do you believe this or is it something more i should be worried about?
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 3:35 PM
Replies (41-50):
by Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:41 PM

It is pretty normal.  My dd got pretty mouthy in the months right before she left (in a weird way, it makes you somewhat happy/relieved when they go.)  She's feeling anxious about leaving home, which is making her grumpy.  She's also spreading her wings and exerting her independence.  While it is normal, it's not acceptable.  So, you should have a good heart-to-heart with her over what is appropriate behavior and what's appropriate to say etc.  I wouldn't punish her (over what's been done), just let her know that there are still boundaries that she has to stay within.  

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:42 PM

Being so rude is out of line. But I dropped everyone but my best friend and boyfriend the minute I graduated. I think it is normal.

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:51 PM

 It sounds like she is trying to stretch out her new "independence" wings. She has to pull away from you, as parents, and establish herself as an adult. It sounds like normal and natural behavior. Do try and be understanding of the transition she is going through, and try and establish open communication, ask her why she feels the need to act this way and if it's something you can work on. Of course, you do not have to put up with her being disrespectful to you.

 BabyFruit Ticker
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:59 PM

It's called "Senioritis".  Very common.  

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 5:02 PM

This! She is probably just getting her bearings so to speak. I remember doing something similar when I left for college- only I wasn't so rude to my parents. It is a stressful time. I would talk to her about her rudeness and tell her that you are excited for her. Remember to tell her too that if there is anything she needs to talk about she can always come to you. Trust me, when she is away at college she will realize that she still needs relationships, especially with her family. ;)  

Quoting hollydaze1974:

I would say completely normal. Freedom is "moments" away in her head. The excitement gets to be overwhelming when they have this little time left.... Think of it as three days of working before a weeks vacation and how excruciating it is to continue " the grind" while dreaming of that break. ( I'm know I've been more inclined to bark at coworkers and have to fight the urge.)

It isn't " just" college age, my young teen is becoming more snippy and snarky as the year rounds down. His grades are phenomenal, but his home attitude is starting to get a tad unbearable.... Even simple things such as lunch choices or how he didn't set or slept through his alarm are becoming my fault.
It's just the end of school being so close they can taste it!

How you handle it is completely up to you as a parent. I ignore what I can and threaten when needed.

However, I wouldn't be worried .... Personality changes should be expected as your teenager becomes a young adult. None of us hold the same mindset now as we did in high school, and really.., you wouldn't want her to.

She will reconnect with friends, and come back and forth to you guys ( her parents) until the most comfortable connection is created between all of you.
Good luck!

CafeMom Tickers

CafeMom Tickers 

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 5:14 PM
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 5:21 PM

To me it sounds like there is something else going on

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 5:22 PM

senioritis maybe?

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 5:22 PM

Shes going through a HUGE change in her life. She wants what she wants in her life, and she feels anyone thats saying anything about it, is just trying to stop her. Thats a weird time in everyones life. We all go through it differently. She maybe wants to stop being just an agreeable kid, and start taking control of her life....grabbing it by the horns and going in head first.

I went through it pretty much the same way, although my mother was not a good mom...she was a terrible person...but I always submitted to whatever she said, and then when I got to a certain age, and I was ready to get out of the house, I started sticking up for myself, doing what I wanted to do, and not what my mom just told me to do, which did not go over well with my mom at all, and she did some things that could never be repaired.

I mean its not like I went all out and started going crazy, I just took control over my life, and my mom didn't like it.

Just let her do her thing, but tell her that, for as long as she lives in your house, she will abide by the rules and be respectful. Shes probably just sick of everyone's expectations of her.

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 5:42 PM

i went through that when i graduated.  i was so glad to be out of my parents house, bt then i went and did everything they wouldn't let me do and got myself into a bit of trouble.

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