Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I think my DD has a boyfriend but she wont tell me

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:09 PM
  • 9 Replies

I have a 16 y/o DD. She has a lot of friends, mostly boys which I dont have a problem with because I've met them all and they are very nice and are good influences. My DD has one "friend" that she hangs out with very often. Usually there are other people there but sometimes they are alone. I know that my DD likes this boy but I'm not sure he knows. My fear is that she is dating this boy but she is afraid to tell me because she thinks that I won't let her hang around with him as often if they are more than just friends. How do I get my DD to tell me if she is dating this boy? If she is, should I be more strict about when and where they see each other?

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:09 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:16 PM
I would wonder especially if they are alone. Why would she hide this unless she has something to hide??
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
PinkButterfly66
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:29 PM

Ask her. At 16, she should be dating.  You don't want her to marry the first jerk that comes along.  The only way she's going to weed out the gems from the jerks is by dating.

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:29 PM

Point blank ask her, if they are dating then the rules should change a little. Friendships are different then dating relationships. Tell her to tell the truth cause if you find out otherwise she will end up in trouble where as if she just cops up to it, life will go on.

MJP76
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:34 PM

I'm sorry she feels she can't be open with you. That's kinda sad. As far as how to get her to tell you, well, IMO If you raise children from the beginning with open communication, then chances are they will be more open as they get older. It's kinda late now to start to incorporate an open lines of communication, I mean you can try, but most likely if it hasn't been there all along then it's not just going to appear overnight.

kids don't always tell us everything, but with open communication it does make it easier.

katydon
by Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:43 PM


Yes this is true. My daughter and I have an open relationship for the most part, she told me that she likes him. I just wish that she would come to me and tell me the whole truth. I suppose I will ask her, but I am not exactly sure what sort of rules should change if she is dating him

Quoting MJP76:

I'm sorry she feels she can't be open with you. That's kinda sad. As far as how to get her to tell you, well, IMO If you raise children from the beginning with open communication, then chances are they will be more open as they get older. It's kinda late now to start to incorporate an open lines of communication, I mean you can try, but most likely if it hasn't been there all along then it's not just going to appear overnight.

kids don't always tell us everything, but with open communication it does make it easier.



MJP76
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:47 PM


The rules I have for my DD (almost 16)  that has a boyfiend, is (well this is a rule we've had from day one it's called a blanket rule) respect herself and others at all times. In a dating scenario these pretty much means act respectful. We've always had an open door policy, and any date they go on is chaperoned, by either us or his mom. Teenagers do not get left alone.. 

Quoting katydon:


Yes this is true. My daughter and I have an open relationship for the most part, she told me that she likes him. I just wish that she would come to me and tell me the whole truth. I suppose I will ask her, but I am not exactly sure what sort of rules should change if she is dating him

Quoting MJP76:

I'm sorry she feels she can't be open with you. That's kinda sad. As far as how to get her to tell you, well, IMO If you raise children from the beginning with open communication, then chances are they will be more open as they get older. It's kinda late now to start to incorporate an open lines of communication, I mean you can try, but most likely if it hasn't been there all along then it's not just going to appear overnight.

kids don't always tell us everything, but with open communication it does make it easier.





GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 6:40 PM
If you're worried that she's dating him why is she allowed out alone with him? Absolutely ANYTHING could be happening when they're alone. You need to sit her down and point blank ask her, and if she refuses to answer you tell her that she is no longer allowed to see him alone, and if you have to, take her licence off her, take her phone. 16 may not be too young to date (with a chaperone if its her first boyfriend) BUT it's wayyy too young for alone time with a boyfriend when you don't know what they could be doing...
02nana07
by Ida on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:35 PM

 I am no help I had more guy friends than girl friends and we were just friends

sabrtooth1
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 11:49 PM

If you have to ASK if you should be more strict with her, you need to be more strict with her.  You need to stop opening the door, and just letting her walk out to do God knows what.  She needs to stop "hanging out".  She needs to be supervised.  She needs to be spending time on school work, a job, chores at home, and volunteering in the community.  Boys, "friends" or not, should come dead last.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)