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WWYD? dating question.

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:41 PM
  • 19 Replies
DS17 & DD14 attend the same high school & have some mutual friends. DS17 has a close friend (also 17) who spent the night at our house often. Friend17 is also friends with DD14.

Recently, DH & I learned that Friend & DD are in mutual "like" & Friend has asked DD on a date.

What would you do in this situation? What about spending the night as DS's friend? About a date with DD? Age difference? Anything else that comes to mind?

DH & I have discussed some decisions, but I would like to get other opinions & hear about other moms experiences or life lessons.
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:48 PM
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DD 14 with a 17 yo, probably not.  Gotta wait till 16 to date.  Also gotta watch the sleepovers if your son brings his friend over. 

Come join me at The Duggars Debate, The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

juniorsmommie12
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:48 PM
1 mom liked this

I personal believe it would be fine. But follow your gut on this one! :)

drfink
by Emily on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:54 PM
1 mom liked this

We haven't had this problem .My daughter is in college and her brothers are in high school but one of my closest friends has 16 y.o. boy -girl twins.She stays very aware all the time.The moment she suspects any "in like " going on the overnights or coming over when she or her husband are not at home comes to the end.So far so good.Her kids understand ,not thrilled but it's ok.An extra problem she has is when her teen's friends like each other and want to come over and spend the night.She said she never thought she would be the romance detector for the high school....LOL

Good luck ,hang in there.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:58 PM
In general, I would say no.

However, there are exceptions to every rule..lol...you know this friend and your DD. How responsible are they?

Use your mommy instinct.
Mommyof5247
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 2:01 PM
Thanks. We've been on alert but kids can be sneaky! DS isnkt especiallu thrilled with friend now that the cat is out of the bag.

Quoting drfink:

We haven't had this problem .My daughter is in college and her brothers are in high school but one of my closest friends has 16 y.o. boy -girl twins.She stays very aware all the time.The moment she suspects any "in like " going on the overnights or coming over when she or her husband are not at home comes to the end.So far so good.Her kids understand ,not thrilled but it's ok.An extra problem she has is when her teen's friends like each other and want to come over and spend the night.She said she never thought she would be the romance detector for the high school....LOL

Good luck ,hang in there.

Mommyof5247
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 2:07 PM
We've said no to solo dates, meaning we told DD she could go IF DS & his gf went also. But that's partially because I know DS isn't thrilled about his friend liking his little sister.

DD is fairly responsible but she has had her rebellious moments. Boys are becoming a problem I think. But she often stays home & only occasionally goes out with girl friends to the mall or movies (we live out of town).

Friend seems like a good kid. He very helpful at our house & when he's over (not even talking to DD) she becomed extremely helpful. I love the buttering up treatment when they are in the same house but...I'm not ready for her to date.


Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

In general, I would say no.



However, there are exceptions to every rule..lol...you know this friend and your DD. How responsible are they?



Use your mommy instinct.
luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 2:16 PM
1 mom liked this
This is easy...she's 14 and way to young.
fammatthews4
by Trisha on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:11 PM
1 mom liked this

14 is too young to date, the age difference is too big, and no I wouldn't be letting that friend spend the night anymore.

sabrtooth1
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:29 PM

14 is too young to date, even for a "double date" with brother.    No dating till over 16, and even THAT is open to refusal.  We wanted our girls working, paying for their own way, having their own cell, and knowing how to drive so they could get home on their OWN, if necessary..  No more than 2 year difference in age till they are in college, and even then it was a problem, with a 21yo bf and an under-drinking-age girl.  My older dd broke up with a couple bf's over them pushing her to drink with them.

Deep six the sleepovers immediatly.  What 17yo old wants GUYS to sleep over, unless he wants a partner in crime?

Mommyof5247
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:29 PM
1 mom liked this
This is actually what we decided.
And it worked nicely. None of the kids are giving attitude although DS is disappointed with his friend.
DD actually told me that she was shocked that a girl friend's mom let her spend a week at a boy's house! The mother has only known them for a few months! We had a talk about it so I know she understands my concerns.


Quoting fammatthews4:

14 is too young to date, the age difference is too big, and no I wouldn't be letting that friend spend the night anymore.

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