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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Do You Share Photos of Your Kids on the Internet?

Posted by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:46 AM
  • 9 Replies

Photo of Teen With Down Syndrome Used in Cruel Internet Meme

by Jeanne Sager

cameraSharing photos of our kids online is a touchy issue for parents, and it's about to get a lot more complicated. A family in Tennessee says a photo of their teenage son, who has Down syndrome, became an Internet meme used to demean kids with special needs. Now Adam Holland's family is suing a radio station and other defendants who called their son "retarded," among other offensive terms.

I've said it once, and I'll say it again: lawsuits don't solve everything. But in Pamela and Bernard Holland's case, it sounds about right. And once you hear what was done to their son's image, you'll understand why.

The original photo of Adam showed the then 17-year-old holding up a sketch with the words "Go Titans One." Hailing from Tennessee, of course, Adam is a fan of the local NFL team, and he'd drawn a picture to illustrate his support.

Unfortunately, the giant white piece of paper he'd used to draw his sketch was an easy mark for Internet bullies. According to the lawsuit, one Internet user altered the photo to read "I have a boner," and uploaded it to Flickr with a caption that read: "just a stupid photo of the sick retarded kid that lives down my street that my dogs hate." The lawsuit also alleges a radio station used an altered version of the photo to illustrate its disturbingly named "retarded news" section.

It's infuriating that people would treat a child this way and that such blatant hate exists for folks with Down syndrome.

But it's also a troubling reminder that this sort of thing can happen to any parent, anywhere.

As a mom and a photographer both, I know I struggle with what to share and what to keep to myself. I tend to share only photos that show my daughter fully clothed. I avoid any photo that shows identifying information (such as our home address). Still, we've had problems. My daughter has been called "ugly" (I'm just her mother, but I assure you, she is not). I've been forced to engage in battles over stolen photos.

Being careful obviously doesn't keep all the bad people at bay.

But does that mean we should stop posting photos entirely?

The debacle over the photo of this boy certainly gives me pause.

We are trying to raise our kids to understand that kids with special needs may be different, but different isn't bad. We want our kids to look at a photo of Adam, smile, and move on ... not resort to hate speech and vile insults.

But evidently, that message hasn't settled in the brains of the trolls out there on the Internet. If a kid with special needs is still being subjected to this, is any child's photo really safe on the Internet?

It's with a heavy heart that I have to say no. Bullies are everywhere. Living in a digital society, we're going to have to risk them honing in on just about everything we do ... even posting nice photos of our kids.

What is your limit for sharing photos of your kids on the Internet?

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:46 AM
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Replies (1-9):
Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:53 AM
I post photos. I don't stress over it. I don't put their names on them though people that really wanted to could probably track my posts and figure out a lot about us.

We talk to our kids about right and wrong, stranger danger, sickos, so hopefully they will be fine.

I can't/won't live in fear.
mamabear0791
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 12:34 PM

I post photos, but I had never thought about someone using anything I took in a meme. I am careful about what I put online, and would definitely sue if someone used a pic in that way. 

chattycassie
by Bronze Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 12:59 PM

 I post photos of my kids online. I don't worry about the images being used.

atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 29, 2013 at 1:04 PM
I post pics. My dd's post pics. They post pics of friends too. Your kids go to other kids houses, they post pics. No one gets permission.
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MrsBLB
by Missi on Apr. 29, 2013 at 1:18 PM

Yeppers

Barabell
by Barbara on Apr. 29, 2013 at 1:55 PM

Yeah, I do. I'm less likely to post them in public forums though.

hollydaze1974
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 2:04 PM
I post pics of my children only because I keep a private profile for only family and close friends. It even cannot be seen by " friends of friends"

No Instagram or anything that might get go public.
fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Apr. 29, 2013 at 2:42 PM
1 mom liked this

 That pisses me off that someone who do that and even more that a radio statio would do it too.  I put pictures of my kids up but only my family and friends are privy to it.

02nana07
by Ida on Apr. 30, 2013 at 9:41 PM

 just on  here and FB

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