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Advice Needed: Is it normal for an almost 13 year old girl...

Posted by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:11 PM
  • 21 Replies

Is it normal for an almost 13 year old girl to be talking about sex with a boy the same age?

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:14 PM
Ummm, not in my home it would not be.
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momma0ffive
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:15 PM
depends on the content of the conversation
busymom2818
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:25 PM

It's not a normal topic in my house!  Since the guidance counselor talked about sexual harrassment in class, it seems to have peaked a scary interest in "sex talk" via texting.  I've already had "the talk" with her since I found out about some inappropriate texts on her ipod.  (I didn't go into grave detail about the act of sex)  She's not very open with me and seems to "tune out" things I try to tell her.  I've been monitoring her texts, without her knowing, of course, or else she'd delete them.  I am HORRIFIED at this behavior and I need some advice on how to get her to listen to me.  I don't need criticism, but someone else's advice who's maybe been in the same situation.  

atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:59 PM
Take the phone. A 13 yo does not need one.


Quoting busymom2818:

It's not a normal topic in my house!  Since the guidance counselor talked about sexual harrassment in class, it seems to have peaked a scary interest in "sex talk" via texting.  I've already had "the talk" with her since I found out about some inappropriate texts on her ipod.  (I didn't go into grave detail about the act of sex)  She's not very open with me and seems to "tune out" things I try to tell her.  I've been monitoring her texts, without her knowing, of course, or else she'd delete them.  I am HORRIFIED at this behavior and I need some advice on how to get her to listen to me.  I don't need criticism, but someone else's advice who's maybe been in the same situation.  


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Winey_bitch
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:23 AM
7 moms liked this
Yes it's normal. Sex is normal and avoiding the subject just leads to confusion and silly things like " you can't get pregnant the first time" or "oral sex isn't sex". Be open about women's choices in sex including std protection and family planning. 13 is not too young. Give her the right information and she has a chance to make good choices and doesn't feel like she needs to get or keep a guy with sex.
daisykat
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:26 AM
EEEeeeeeeeeK!!! I would give an emphatic NO. Unless it was discussing something that was talked about in health class, and in very clinical terms, they should not be doing that. They're testing the waters with each other to see if the other would be interested in a little dabbling. There's going to be natural, healthy curiosity, but that's where you come in with the sex talks. I'd nip that in the bud, and quickly.
daisykat
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:30 AM
Quoting Winey_bitch:

Yes it's normal. Sex is normal and avoiding the subject just leads to confusion and silly things like " you can't get pregnant the first time" or "oral sex isn't sex". Be open about women's choices in sex including std protection and family planning. 13 is not too young. Give her the right information and she has a chance to make good choices and doesn't feel like she needs to get or keep a guy with sex.

I agree with this, but I do think it depends on what the context was. If she's sexting, then yeah, plainspeak without embarrassment is essential to dispel the myths she may be picking up on. Your answer, in my opinion, is right on the money.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Apr. 30, 2013 at 2:02 AM

 Depending on the content of the texts.  I know my daughters talk about sex with other girls their age, but I don't think they talk about it with the boys.  They still think it's gross, BUT it is natural to be curious.  If they are informative talks about what sex is, stuff like that, it's perfectly normal to be curious, however if they are in the sexual act kind of talk (sexting) then no it is not normal and i would take the phone away and cut off all talk like that.

fammatthews4
by Trisha on Apr. 30, 2013 at 7:27 AM
I guess it depends on what and how they are talking about it. If its sexting the phone should be taken away.
vlynn.iowa
by Bronze Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:59 AM

Depends on what her friends are talking about.  It's not normal in my house.  Have you had the all-out, completely straight forward sex talk with her?  If not it sounds like you should.

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