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omg... you wont believe what i found in my daughters bed room!

Posted by on May. 1, 2013 at 11:06 AM
  • 15 Replies
3 moms liked this

She broke up with her boyfriend about a month ago.  she REALLY liked him and he seemed to REALLY like her.  But reality is that they are seniors going to different schools, and they are just kids.  So they made the hard choice to break up now so that they can focus on the end of senior year and all its activities; they go to different schools, and deal with the heart ache now instead of dealing with it at the same time they are leaving home for the first time.  I think it was a very mature decision.... but that didnt make it any less painful.  There were so many nights full of tears!  Of course, I gave her the typical mom speech: there is nothing to make this sort of pain go away, time will heal it, you have to refocus and find things to make your self happy and take your mind off of it.


So what did I find?  I found a piece of paper titled: 100 things that make me happy.... and she has a list started.  It was SO flip'n sweet, and Im so proud of her working out the sadness in such a positive way.

by on May. 1, 2013 at 11:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jazzgirl205
by on May. 1, 2013 at 11:20 AM
2 moms liked this

You've instilled some good traits.  My 15 yo broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks ago.  She worked it out by reclining on the couch while listening to Ella Fitzgerald sing, "It Was Just One Of Those Things."  Then she moved on.  

We really need to instill self confidence and self respect in our daughters.  We need to teach them love: what it is, what it isn't, how to show it, how to recognize it, how to know when it is absent, romantic love, platonic love, familial love.  It's the most important thing we can teach them.

Some of these women on CM break my heart because they seem to attach themselves to utter brutes when they should hold out for someone who is crazy in love with them.  Everyone deserves that total wonderful love that Corinthians talks about.  It exists.  I have it.  You probably do, too.

DropZoneMom
by on May. 1, 2013 at 11:23 AM

She sounds like she has an excellent head on her shoulders -- I think she gets it from her Mom.  :)   

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 1, 2013 at 11:34 AM
Awesome DD. Maybe they could stay together. My dd had been with her boyfriend over 2 years and nearly all 2 years has been long distance.
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sahlady
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2013 at 11:41 AM

no.  we absolutely dont want that.  she needs to go to college and focus.  she doesnt need to be wondering what he is up to 1000s of miles away.  they are kids this is just a teen thing.  if they want to try for a real adult relationship they can meet up later when they are adults.  I REALLY would be against that.

Quoting atlmom2:

Awesome DD. Maybe they could stay together. My dd had been with her boyfriend over 2 years and nearly all 2 years has been long distance.


atlmom2
by Susie on May. 1, 2013 at 11:48 AM
My dd was focused. She was not wondering what he is doing in the Marines. Neither are jealous and have a ver mature relationship. They wanna marry in 4 years maybe. Dh and I dated long distance all his college and it worked. Guess we are her role models. They are not kids if they are in college. They are adults. SIL and her dh dated all college and BIL and his wife, not long distance, and it lasted all married over 25 years.


Quoting sahlady:

no.  we absolutely dont want that.  she needs to go to college and focus.  she doesnt need to be wondering what he is up to 1000s of miles away.  they are kids this is just a teen thing.  if they want to try for a real adult relationship they can meet up later when they are adults.  I REALLY would be against that.

Quoting atlmom2:

Awesome DD. Maybe they could stay together. My dd had been with her boyfriend over 2 years and nearly all 2 years has been long distance.



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sahlady
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2013 at 11:54 AM

we can agree to disagree on this one.  I would really be opposed to my daughter committing to marring when she is this young and having so little life experience.  I personally would prefer her to met many different types of people, travel, get to REALLY know herself, choose a life path, and then start considering to date to marry.  That is just what we prefer for our kids.  I realize every family is different and there are those rare relationships that form very young and actually work out.  But we simply prefer a different route for our child.

Quoting atlmom2:

My dd was focused. She was not wondering what he is doing in the Marines. Neither are jealous and have a ver mature relationship. They wanna marry in 4 years maybe. Dh and I dated long distance all his college and it worked. Guess we are her role models. They are not kids if they are in college. They are adults. SIL and her dh dated all college and BIL and his wife, not long distance, and it lasted all married over 25 years.


Quoting sahlady:

no.  we absolutely dont want that.  she needs to go to college and focus.  she doesnt need to be wondering what he is up to 1000s of miles away.  they are kids this is just a teen thing.  if they want to try for a real adult relationship they can meet up later when they are adults.  I REALLY would be against that.

Quoting atlmom2:

Awesome DD. Maybe they could stay together. My dd had been with her boyfriend over 2 years and nearly all 2 years has been long distance.




atlmom2
by Susie on May. 1, 2013 at 11:57 AM
I traveled while dating dh and not with him, lol. We were never engaged till 3 months before we married. I leave my girls relationships up to them. Agree to disagree. Thank goodness no one told any of us we shouldn't be together.


Quoting sahlady:

we can agree to disagree on this one.  I would really be opposed to my daughter committing to marring when she is this young and having so little life experience.  I personally would prefer her to met many different types of people, travel, get to REALLY know herself, choose a life path, and then start considering to date to marry.  That is just what we prefer for our kids.  I realize every family is different and there are those rare relationships that form very young and actually work out.  But we simply prefer a different route for our child.

Quoting atlmom2:

My dd was focused. She was not wondering what he is doing in the Marines. Neither are jealous and have a ver mature relationship. They wanna marry in 4 years maybe. Dh and I dated long distance all his college and it worked. Guess we are her role models. They are not kids if they are in college. They are adults. SIL and her dh dated all college and BIL and his wife, not long distance, and it lasted all married over 25 years.





Quoting sahlady:

no.  we absolutely dont want that.  she needs to go to college and focus.  she doesnt need to be wondering what he is up to 1000s of miles away.  they are kids this is just a teen thing.  if they want to try for a real adult relationship they can meet up later when they are adults.  I REALLY would be against that.

Quoting atlmom2:

Awesome DD. Maybe they could stay together. My dd had been with her boyfriend over 2 years and nearly all 2 years has been long distance.






Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sahlady
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2013 at 12:06 PM

I never told her anything.  If she came to me and asked, I would not force my opinion but give it.  The break up was their choice. 

Quoting atlmom2:

I traveled while dating dh and not with him, lol. We were never engaged till 3 months before we married. I leave my girls relationships up to them. Agree to disagree. Thank goodness no one told any of us we shouldn't be together. 
nurse1997
by Member on May. 5, 2013 at 2:26 PM

Why break up she can be happy and still do every thing but just not be attached at the hip with this boy going to a different  school gives them a chance to grow in to them selves   . I myself married my sweetheart from high school and it worked  and I know oithers too that are still happy too ! Love doesnt know age if she really loves this boy they shouldnt break up ! 

marriedw6kids
by on May. 5, 2013 at 2:48 PM

Your daughter is very inspiring!!

 

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