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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Just wondering...is this trying too hard?

Posted by on May. 1, 2013 at 3:48 PM
  • 19 Replies

 My SO will be moving about four hours away to go to college this summer. He has a 15 year old son who I have not gotten the chance to know and really bond with that much because he lives with his mom. Well...his mom isn't my biggest fan because I'm dating her ex. I was wondering if I would be trying too hard if I still invited him over even if his dad is gone. I thought this would give us an opportunity to get to know each other better and maybe become friends. Opinions???

Elizabethwink mini

by on May. 1, 2013 at 3:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2013 at 3:59 PM
2 moms liked this
I don't think it's an unreasonable request, just be prepared to be turned down. His age alone would mean less hanging with parental figures and more hanging out with his friends.
momto3B
by on May. 1, 2013 at 4:01 PM

I would wait. Having a 15 year old boy who you really don't know come to your house when his dad is not around is only going to come back and bite you in the tush. 

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 1, 2013 at 4:07 PM
1 mom liked this
I would have his Dad talk to him and if he is up for it, then do it. I would have his Dad tell him you will not be hurt if he says no.
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boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on May. 1, 2013 at 9:16 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting atlmom2:

I would have his Dad talk to him and if he is up for it, then do it. I would have his Dad tell him you will not be hurt if he says no.

I agree.   Another idea is to ask if he wants to join you on a trip to see his Dad.... your two can talk in the car.




02nana07
by Ida on May. 1, 2013 at 9:23 PM

 I wouldn't go there if I were you and if it were my son I wouldn't let it happen either

risingsun26
by on May. 2, 2013 at 12:21 AM

 

Quoting 02nana07:

 I wouldn't go there if I were you and if it were my son I wouldn't let it happen either

 Can I ask why?

Elizabethwink mini

hollydaze1974
by on May. 2, 2013 at 12:44 AM
I'm not going to step on Nana's toes and answer for her, but I feel the same way she does and I bet I know her reasons...

People are being vague attempting to not seem insulting or hurt your feelings. " these here are eggshells".

Quoting risingsun26:

 


Quoting 02nana07:


 I wouldn't go there if I were you and if it were my son I wouldn't let it happen either


 Can I ask why?

daisykat
by on May. 2, 2013 at 12:58 AM
Having a teenage boy you don't really know in your home, and being that his mom is not a fan of yours, you are walking on a slippery slope. His mom, if she's REALLY nasty, could accuse you of some type of abuse or worse. It would also be extremely awkward for him. He should only be in your home with a parent present.

And I have to say- if your SO is moving 4 hours away, I would be cautious about bonding right now. Long distance relationships seldom work and it would be a shame for you to develop a bond with this boy, then suddenly leave his life because of a break-up. I don't know how strong your relationship is, but walk carefully through this one. The bottom line, though, is that it's never a wise idea to have a minor teenage boy in your home whom you barely know when his mom doesn't like you. It's common sense.
daisykat
by on May. 2, 2013 at 1:13 AM
I didn't want to ask this before, but I'm going to. If your SO is moving 4 hours away, do you feel somewhere inside like you might be losing him? I wonder if your new interest in bonding with his son is a roundabout attempt at saving your relationship, if you feel it isn't as strong as it once was, or you're worried about all the time he will have on his hands without you there. I may be totally off-base, but it was the first thing that popped into my head.
02nana07
by Ida on May. 2, 2013 at 1:15 AM

 because you aren't married I don't see sending my son to stay alone with a woman it just doesn't seem right it would be different if you were married.

I wouldn't want him there if the ex doesn't like you because she could accuse you of something since it would just be the 2 of you.

My teacher let a student stay with him and the kids mother got mad and accussed the teacher of something sexual even though the student denied it.  I knew this teacher and knew he would never hurt anyone and when it ended up on the news he killed himself because he didn't want anyone thinking of him doing something like that.

Later themother said they did it trying to get money so I would be afraid to be alone with him knowing the ex doesn't like you.

 Quoting risingsun26:

Quoting 02nana07:

 I wouldn't go there if I were you and if it were my son I wouldn't let it happen either

 Can I ask why?

 

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