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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

How would you feel if you found out your teenager was having sex underage?

How would you address the issue?

by on May. 3, 2013 at 12:12 PM
Replies (21-30):
Mamitamaria
by Member on May. 4, 2013 at 2:47 PM


This is my answer exactly.

Quoting JanetR74:

 My oldest is 17 now and she became sexually active with her bf at 15.  Was I happy??? No, but I did accept it and knew no matter what I said they weren't going to stop. 



Crazylife1994
by on May. 4, 2013 at 2:50 PM

I also didn't say how old or where they are in their lives right now. All I said was that so far I have gotten lucky about them having sex. Our goal is to at least get them out of high school before they start having sex.

My oldest is 21 and getting married. I know for a fact she does have sex. My second daughter is 17 and finishing her freshman year at Cornell. She has been with her boyfriend for well over a year. At this moment she has had sex but even she realizes that one moment of weakness could change her entire life. She wanted to make sure she is already protected. 

None of my kids are ready to be parents and if they are going to chose to have sex I want them to be responsible. Do I prefer for them to wait yes but I am not going to pretend it can't happen either.

Quoting notjstasocermom:

why are they on BC if they are not having sex?

 

Quoting Crazylife1994:

So far I haven't had any of my children in this situation but we are very open about the topic of sex. Both of my oldest girls are on birth control and both my boys and girls have access to condoms.

 

We have regular conversations about sex and the consequenses of sex. They know that I have hopes for them waiting but I am not nieve enough to think it won't happen.

 

 


 

lazyd
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2013 at 4:03 PM

I would be mad, and put my daughter on BC right away and made sure she had condoms and I would make sure my son always had condoms and I would ask that his GF be on BC.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on May. 5, 2013 at 12:01 AM
1 mom liked this

My son was open and honest about it.   I wasn't angry, but maybe a little sad.   I was very happy that he used protection and felt comfortable enough with me to tell me.  We had always talked very freely about sex, about always protecting himself and the girl, about the emotional and physical affects, etc.




worship
by on May. 5, 2013 at 12:05 AM
When I found out I was upset for awhile but it happened , got them on birth control immediately I pay for it each month and its their responsibility to pick it up and take each month. We first happens they were 15, and 16.5
drfink
by Emily on May. 5, 2013 at 12:17 AM

my older two were freshman in college.We still emphasized condoms and b.c. and for my sr in college I still do.I don't think my teens have but they both know to use condoms always ,every single time .They both strive to stay on the honor roll and have started considering colleges.It doesn't make sex out of the question but I think it makes the use of condoms more likely.

I would be disappointed and not happy but it would be more important for them and their gfriends to not have a baby or become ill.

GarysWife1991
by on May. 5, 2013 at 6:38 AM
1 mom liked this

 My oldest sd is 16 and she came to me last summer wanting to go on bc.  I was just proud of her for being mature enough to talk to me first about it.  I definitely would never encourage a teen to have sex but I do accept it and know they are both being safe and responsible.

Crafty8852
by on May. 5, 2013 at 7:01 AM
1 mom liked this
I was young when I started, my mom and I had a very open relationship and talked openly about sex, diseases, pregnancy, responsibility, etc. I guess my reaction will be based on the situation. If they're in a relationship for a long time and understand the consequences and reality of it, not so bad. I would be upset, sad if one of them hid it from me though, I would rather they be able to talk to me than hide things from me.
ame4c
by on May. 5, 2013 at 4:18 PM

It would depend on who they were having sex with 1st, because if it was an adult, I would probably be in prision because I killed someone.

If it's underage kids all around, then I would sit them down and talk with BOTH of them. Then invite the other childs parents over for a round of chats.  We would have discussions about the conciquences of sex and the many ways of using birth control.

However, my oldest SS already has a child.  I didn't raise him, but his misfortune seems to help my younger children.  They see what he is going through and none of them want to have to struggle like that.  The youngest we have now is 12 (going on 30).

Communication is key.  We have to communicate with our kids and we have to teach them whats right and wrong.  I like to teach them healthy habits for dating, so that even when they are adults they can use it.  Many of these kids find themselves in situations that many adults can't make wise choices in... I like to teach my kids how to not end up in those situations.  No matter what, in the end all we can do is teach them and hope they make the right choices.

MJP76
by on May. 5, 2013 at 5:19 PM

I would not be happy, and I'd also wonder where thery found the time. 

We've talked about sex with our kids many many times throughout their lives...so I'd probably address it again, and probably also Put more on their plate so they had even less time for shenanagains.

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