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Can't believe my teen would act like this!

Posted by on May. 5, 2013 at 11:58 PM
  • 25 Replies
During this semester, my daughter has been taking this law class in high school and she briefly mentioned having to sit next to a girl who was kind of annoying. She didn't have any friends in the class, she's the only senior in a group of juniors and 1 sophomore - the girl sitting next to her. Now yeaterday I was at the gym talking to another woman who was a mother of a girl in my daughter's high school and she mentioned this law class, and how some girl was being very rude to her kid. I realized she meant my daughter! She had apparently been assigned to some debate project on the same team as her and had been really sarcastic about their side of the project, humiliating the girl. when i asked my daughter if this was true, she said she had made a couple jokes but that's all they were. I don't know if i believe her! What should I do? Should i tell the other girl's mom? **UPDATE** I did end up talking to her, and heres what she said. Apparently this other girl is a bit of an extremist in her political views and she told the teacher without asking her that they'd be doing the project on how the death penalty should be even be given to underage people who commit crimes. My daughter entirely disagreed with her opinoon and ended up doing a very satirical argument. she insists she didn't do it to be mean, she just didn't believe kids should get such harsh penaltys.. SO when the debate came, the other girl went at it with a lot of effort and my daugher kind of mocked their stance.
by on May. 5, 2013 at 11:58 PM
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by on May. 6, 2013 at 12:02 AM

I wouldn't talk to the other girl's mom but I would talk to my daughter and tell her I know what's been really going on.  She would have to listen to my whole soapbox about how we should treat others and that she has no right to mistreat another person.  I would probably also contact the teacher of that class and tell her what's been going on and to please let me know is she notices my daughter being hateful to anyone in the class.  I would make sure my daughter knows that I'm talking to the teacher as well.

by on May. 6, 2013 at 12:10 AM
No, you don't tattle tale on your own daughter. You don't apologize for her, either. If the other girl felt humiliated, even over a joke or two, you make you SENIOR daughter rise to the standards you set and apologize to this girl.

By the time our kids get half way into middle school, it is best ( IMO ) to let them sort things out themselves. However, if your dd is picking on a girl two yrs younger as she's prancing out of high school, then she needs to fix it before she leaves.
For as we know, Karma is a bitch. College is going to put her right back to " little fish in big pond"
She doesn't want those two cliche's colliding, but it isn't your fight or conscience.
by on May. 6, 2013 at 12:32 AM

I would have a word to her. She may need to apologize to the girl.

by Silver Member on May. 6, 2013 at 2:55 AM

I actually have two opinions to voice here, mine and my DD's. She was reading over my shoulder lol. Mine is that I would - judging by her age, tell her that this wasn't acceptable, make her watch a few of the 'it gets better' videos to show her what bullying and teasing does, and apologise. My DD however was a lot harsher. She said that if it were her daughter or her younger sisters, she would be sitting whomever down, making sure they were nice and comfy ready for a long talk. She would start by asking the girl why they tease her, what makes her a target, why can't she just mind her own business when it comes to this girl and NOT bully her. She would then take her daughter/her sisters through her entire history in school, talking about her bullying experience, how she tried to win the bullies over by being who they wanted her to be, bullying the bullies so they would *have* to pay attention to her, her depression, her anxiety. EVERYTHING so that whe she is done,  her daughter/sisters would understand exactly why they shouldn't bully people and hopefully that would encourage the girl to apologise and seek forgiveness.

by on May. 6, 2013 at 3:20 AM
No your daughter is a senior in HS almost an adult. Stay out of it for goodness sake!
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by Silver Member on May. 6, 2013 at 8:00 AM

there are always 2 sides to everystory and then the truth keep out of it

by Susie on May. 6, 2013 at 8:31 AM
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Sounds like your dd needs to apologize. I would stay out of it with the Mom.
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by Grumpy on May. 6, 2013 at 8:48 AM
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I wouldn't tell the other girl's mom anything. It might have been that the girl was upset and over reacting. I would counsel my kid on acting appropriately.
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2013 at 9:26 AM

 I'd talk to your dd about it, but not say anything to the other mom.





by on May. 6, 2013 at 9:35 AM
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At worst your DD is being very rude, best case she really was joking and the other girl got her feelings hurt. Talk to your DD and let her know that either way, she needs to filter herself a little better, not all people take joking in a joking manner and it's important to recognize the people who don't.

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