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Would you let child set themselves up for failure?

Posted by on May. 8, 2013 at 4:08 PM
  • 30 Replies

 My son, everyone knows by now, has been really stubborn and hard headed all school year.  He is either going to fail or pass Algebra II with a D.  He does NOT need any more math courses (beyond this one) to graduate.  He wants to take a more advanced math in order to get an advanced diploma (which both his counselor and I have explained doesn't mean anything if he doesn't do the work and get decent grades).  His courses that he picked out were HIGHLY MATH and it's not that he's not getting it, he REFUSES to do the work.

So we have decided to lighten his load.  He INSISTS he wants to take a math course but if he goes through to a higher math, he will more than likely struggle or fail because he doesn't really have the basics from the math he's taking now.  So we told him he can take Algebra II for a better grade, and it will be easier for him.  Yes I am aware that he is not happy about it but we don't want to set him up for failure. We also gave him an easier science.  Normally we would never interfere with his schedule, and we never have with any of them before but we want him to have a chance.

Would you have done it?  If not, what would you have done?

by on May. 8, 2013 at 4:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ForeverLawst
by Member on May. 8, 2013 at 4:17 PM

Have you thought about having him take Algebra II online to get the better grade over the summer and then letting him take a more advanced class this fall?

wyomom4
by on May. 8, 2013 at 4:27 PM

Can he take Algebra II in summer school for grade improvement? When I had issues with my kids not turning in the assignments they paid us $2 for every missing assignment. You might also consider writing a contract with him allowing him to take the classes he wants for the first semester, but with the agreement that if by the end of the first quarter he isn't passing with at least a (insert appropriate grade here) you would start the process to drop him down to easier classes for the second semester?

Barabell
by Barbara on May. 8, 2013 at 4:30 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm surprised the school would let him take a more advanced class after getting a D. Here, you have to get a C or higher to move up in math.

Wyndi
by on May. 8, 2013 at 4:39 PM
1 mom liked this

 At some point you need to let them sink or swim on their own. Although with a D, mine would have no extra activities until the grade came up to a satisfactory grade. My youngest started slacking off and I went in and had his boss cut his hours because it was interferring with his studies and I told both of them if the grade is not up by the end of term, he would be quitting his job. That was all it took, my son has brought his grades up to a satisfactory level and kept them there. He'll graduate high school in a few weeks with Honors.

 

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on May. 8, 2013 at 4:48 PM

With everything that is going on, I say let him pick his schedule. It's what he wants so maybe, just maybe, he will surprise you and do good. Sometimes kids just want to feel in control, as if they have a say and they are being heard. Many times I have let my kids do things that I don't think is a smart move on their part. Sometimes they succeed and other times they don't. 

Some of life lessons HAVE to be learned the hard way, and the harder you push to have things your way, the harder they will push to win, at whatever cost, even if that means failing on purpose.

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 8, 2013 at 5:08 PM
No way. He will fail. He should not take a higher math course. The school should not allow it.
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fantasticfour
by Grumpy on May. 8, 2013 at 5:42 PM

 The district doesn't have online learning for them.  I looked into it, there is only one place accredited in VA for it (other than district's schools) and it only goes to 8th grade and I don't have the money for the tuition elsewhere.

Quoting ForeverLawst:

Have you thought about having him take Algebra II online to get the better grade over the summer and then letting him take a more advanced class this fall?

 

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on May. 8, 2013 at 5:45 PM
Quoting wyomom4:

Can he take Algebra II in summer school for grade improvement? When I had issues with my kids not turning in the assignments they paid us $2 for every missing assignment. You might also consider writing a contract with him allowing him to take the classes he wants for the first semester, but with the agreement that if by the end of the first quarter he isn't passing with at least a (insert appropriate grade here) you would start the process to drop him down to easier classes for the second semester?

We had a contract with him. He paid no attention to it at all. He told me what he'd give me in return for something and what he wanted in return for things for me. He didn't hold up a single part of his bargain. As far as summer school, it's almost $500 bucks for him to take summer school, he MUST fail the course in order to take it and we don't have the money for it. He will probably pass it with a low D. The money for missing homework sounds great, IF he had a way of making money (he doesn't have a job) and IF he wasn't about 400 bucks in debt for the items he stole and destroyed (not even counting the money that went missing).

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on May. 8, 2013 at 5:45 PM

 Yeah I was surprised too.

Quoting Barabell:

I'm surprised the school would let him take a more advanced class after getting a D. Here, you have to get a C or higher to move up in math.

 

Barabell
by Barbara on May. 8, 2013 at 5:48 PM

Since you've been in contact with the school counselor, have you asked the counselor why they would allow this? It seems like a poor idea for ANY student to move to a more advanced class after getting a D.

Quoting fantasticfour:

 Yeah I was surprised too.

Quoting Barabell:

I'm surprised the school would let him take a more advanced class after getting a D. Here, you have to get a C or higher to move up in math.

 


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